Little Persons

         Eight o'clock at the counter of a bar just off campus seemed like the best time and place for John to tell anyone his news, and Red was the best confidante he could ask for. So, after turning his half-empty glass a few times on the counter top smearing the condensed water pooled around the bottom into a blurred ring, he told it.

"So, Kate's pregnant." He kept turning his glass.

         John realized he might have waited another moment. Red was in the middle of taking a swig from his beer, but he froze with the glass at his mouth, beer sloshing down his cheeks. It took him a second to lower his glass again. He dried his face on the back of his sleeve, both to clean himself up and give himself a chance to think of what to say. He didn't think of much.

"Oh."

"Yeah," John said and stopped turning his glass to take another drink. He held his breath when it seemed as if Red was about to say something for real this time, but instead he took another drink himself and looked at the far side of the counter with half an expression on his face. John did about the same thing. Thank God for beer and bar stools, he thought, otherwise guys would have to look at each other and talk.

Red started talking again, "So, how did you find out? Or, when, I guess?"

"Yesterday. That's when, at least. She told me just after she told her parents." John drank again, as did Red.

"Uh, how far along is she? Or, whatever."

"A few weeks, she said. I mean it's not like you can tell." Red looked at John just in time to see a thought or two pass across his face. "Damn.." John said to himself and rubbed his eyes as if to keep them from seeing something.

         They each drank a few more mouthfuls. Red was determined not to chance a look at John again. "How do you think it happened?" he said to the bottles sitting on the shelf behind the counter, "I mean, if the protection you're using isn't cutting it, I should keep an eye out. Tell the other guys to steer away from that stuff." He laughed a little hoping it was enough to let John know he was joking and not make a total ass of himself. John did one humorless laugh through his teeth, and Red slowly downed what was left of his beer.

         As soon as his glass was empty, he wished it wasn't. The fact that neither was talking expounded in awkwardness when all Red could do was fiddle with an empty glass while John purposefully took teaspoon sized sips in five second intervals. The bartender being busy with customers at the other end of the counter didn't help anything. All Red could do was stare at his glass while both of them desperately willed it fill with some kind of liquid. Beer, water, antifreeze, whatever. Hell, Red had heard that antifreeze was actually pretty good aside from making you go blind. And, if that happened, at least they would have something else to talk about.

Just as Red decided in desperation to pretend he was draining the last bits of dry suds forming a ring in the bottom of the glass, John spoke again.

"She'll probably... I mean, do you think she'll keep it? Or at least have it, right?"

Red put the glass down, "Yeah. She'll have it, I think. You haven't..."

"No, we didn't talk about it. I guess we haven't gotten that far with all this yet." Now it was John's turn to drain his glass.

Red pushed his glass around the counter top for a few moments before saying, "So, do you want her to have it?"

John looked over at Red, and the two looked at each other for the first time in probably around fifteen minutes. "Well, yeah. I mean... Yeah. I do." He tried to drink and realized again that his glass was empty too now.

"And do you want her to keep it?"

"Sure. Kate always said she wanted to be a mom. She would make a good one."

"I don't think she meant she wanted to be one now, man."

"No."

         The bartender came by, and they both quickly ordered a drink each. The tender didn't notice them staring at their drinks slowly filling up beneath the fountain. As soon at the drinks were in their hands, the two took deep, synchronized swigs. Red seemed to gain a little more courage and clarity.

"And do you want to keep it?"

John took another long swig. "This really shouldn't be where my life is going. But there are a lot worse times in my life than now that this could happen, I guess."

"Wait, are there any other times in your life that this could happen? Did you ever sleep with anyone before Kate?"

John used another sip of his drink as an excuse to pause, "No... I mean, we'll both be graduated in about seven months. So, it's not like we'll have a baby to look after while we're doing school and all. And we can get real jobs and, I dunno, stuff like that."

"Sure, but you aren't the one who has to walk at graduation with a brand new human being hanging out of your front-side."

"No, I guess not." John's glass was about half gone. He started turning it again.

"It's pretty crazy to think about," Red said.

"What, being a dad? Yeah."

"No. Well, yeah. But I mean, like, having a baby." Red shook his head and drank.

"I can imagine."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure you can't. I mean, I can't." Red thought about taking another drink, but decided he should take advantage of the opportunity to keep talking. "It's like, you're making a whole new person inside your own body. How crazy is that, man?"

"I thought we were getting drunk tonight, Red, not high."

Red shoved John's shoulder, "Neither of us are getting either. You've got to be responsible now that you're a father. Set a good example for your child," he said in faux-seriousness, nudging John with an elbow this time. "Either way, I've never even seen you get drunk in your life. Not drunk for real, at least"

"Well tonight might be a good time to give it a try."

"Haha, no, man, just think about it. Your own child inside you starting out as just a couple little cells." He turned on his stool looking around the bar at the few people there. Filling a booth in the corner was a group of girlfriends laughing around a pitcher. Hair done, makeup applied, strategically dressed to leave a couple things to the imagination, the six of them squeezed together on the cushioned seats getting ready for the night to start.

Red poked John's shoulder pointing them out. "If there's one big, really huge, really real difference between us and them, it's that we can never do that. We'll never do something as crazy awesome as make a whole new person in our own body. I mean, what kinds of thoughts and feelings and stuff do you go through with something like that? I don't even know."

Looking apprehensively back at the women, John said quickly, "Okay, Red. Would you stop staring? You're being a creep."

"But isn't that ridiculous? A little person breathing through you, eating through you and stuff until it's ready to come out and start breathing and eating and everything on its own. Then it's all downhill from there." Red made a sloping gesture with his hand with a whistle between his teeth. He took another drink, "I wouldn't mind being a fetus again, putting it like that. Sounds like a nice deal."

John looked away from Red to try to hide his laughing grin, "You're so weird, Red."

"But I'm right, aren't I?"

John looked at his glass for a second or two, "Yeah, it's pretty amazing."

They were silent again for a while, but no one seemed to notice.

Red talked again, "Thought of any names yet?"

"Wow, no. Let me at least talk to my parents first."

"Fair enough."

"I have thought about what she'll look like though."

"She? Looking forward to a daughter then?"

John looked up from his glass at Red, confused, "What? Oh, yeah. I guess I did say 'she.' I mean, having a boy would be great and all, but I think I want a girl. Even if she does turn into a crazy teenager someday."

"So what's your daughter going to look like?"

"Tall. Well, not when she's born, I guess, but she'll get there. Straight hair, probably more a brunette than anything else. The eyes could go anywhere. Long, straight nose and round cheeks." John stopped to take a couple breaths. For all he knew, he could have been getting a bit drunk. It was like someone else was saying all his thoughts for him.

"Aww, your little girl's adorable, John."

"Well yeah."

"Sounds really familiar too."

"Well, yeah." He took a deep swig, nearly finishing off his glass, "And she'll be a dancer too. Probably when she's five or six or something. I'd be a real proud dad to see her doing ballet or something."

"Not star of the football team?"

"Well, I'll take that too. I mean, soccer or something. Definitely don't want her to get a leg broken or whatever else." John looked at the beer preparing himself to finish of the rest, but pushed it away instead. "No, she'll be gorgeous. Or he, I'll take a boy too, and I'm sure he'd be just as good a dancer."

"For sure."

John reached out to his beer and finished it off, "So long as the kid doesn't have hair like yours, boy or girl. But I'm pretty sure that Kate and me don't have any Irish in us, so nothing to worry about there."

"Neither do I, mate. But I'm sure you've got some Scottish in there somewhere."

"Whatever, same thing."

"I was going to offer to buy us both one more, but the desire suddenly faded just now."

John laughed, "No, that's enough for me, but I'm pretty sure I owe you another one. There aren't many friends who can deal with a friend telling him he's pregnant."

Red nodded, "I'll take that."

John ruffled Red's hair before leaning over the counter. He waved the bartender over with a toothy grin.