Falling for you

Not even a couple
"You guys are just friends" he said,
At the door it's not a kiss, it's a hug, sometimes a kiss on the cheek
We look into each other's eyes as you go out the front door.

Meanwhile, chaotic things going on in me.
Hormones, falling for you, missing you, wondering
Do you feel the same way? I feel vulnerable.
Awfully, painfully vulnerable.

I'm always aware of my heart beating in my chest.
Breathless. Awake at 3:30, heart beating fast. Feeling restless.
Missing you, wondering.

I daren't show these emotions to you, for fear of
Shock. Pushing away, leaving. It's too much.
Play it cool? Too cool?
I don't know.

Sometimes happy, sometimes despondent,
Not a kiss at the end, the longer this goes on
The more I wonder,
And the less I can rest.