Hindsight Chapter VI

Hindsight Part VI
June 23, 2011
Where are the “fashion police” when fat women need them? There is nothing at all wrong with being fat, if you’re not unhealthy, or if you don’t have other issues that will make you unhealthy later. However, there is something wrong with looking a mess, even if you’re slim. If you’re fat and look a mess, it is totally inexcusable. When I was a teenager, one of the highest paid fashion models was Twiggy, one of the thinnest, most anorexic models to ever hit the runway. Twiggy was praised for her absolute lack of body fat, and other models were coerced into following suit. Designers were certain that all young women would want to look like her. I am sure there were girls who wanted to look like her, but they weren’t in my circle of friends. Not all of my friends were fat… I had friends who took special pains to keep their bodies in shape. (I know “round is a shape”.) I mean they wanted their stomachs to be flat and they tried to stay within the range of perfect weight for their age and height. I admired them, and sometimes wished I looked like them, but I wasn’t about to starve myself to achieve that ideal weight, and frankly, neither were my friends. I feel so sorry for girls and young women now who suffer from eating disorders, in growing numbers every day, because they are so upset with their own body image. Perhaps if women didn’t have to see so many naked people on television, they wouldn’t be so tempted to compare their own bodies to those of other women.
There are always going to be people who criticize fat women, and they will not always be nice about it. In fact, they will never be nice about it. I have a friend who consistently talks about how I am bigger than she is; and so, she says, she should give me her “fat” clothes. Now I don’t know what her scales or her mirror are telling her, but I do know that the reason she has so many clothes hanging in her closet with the tags still on them is that she bought the size she thought she wore (my size) and she got home and discovered that she couldn’t wear that size. She needs to “size up”, but telling her won’t do any good. When I was younger, I have had mothers of daughters near my age or younger tell me that they were glad their daughters were not fat like me. Of course I wanted to tell them their daughters were not smart like me either, but my mother always taught me to be polite. Occasionally, I have had to ask God’s forgiveness for speaking “out of turn” to my elders. I really did try not to say it. (I’m lying… I really didn’t)
Fat women have a fashion standard to uphold, and many fat women are neglecting that standard. I was the happiest woman alive when Oprah hit the air waves 25 years ago. She was a big woman who had a sense of style, and I watched daily, just to see how fabulous she would look. I was proud of her when she lost the weight the first time, but I was disappointed in her wardrobe choices. She wanted so badly to show the world that she was slim, that she forgot that all styles are not made for all women. The mantra of fat women, when they are shopping, should be, “just because they make it in your size, that doesn’t mean you have to wear it.” All styles do not look good on all people, regardless of size. Face it; skinny jeans do not look good if you’re not skinny. Tiny tees do not look good if they’re trying to cover humongous fat rolls. Spandex may be the wonder fabric, but it will never look wonderful when stretched to its limits over fat.
I have tried, quite often, to explain to people, men especially, that a woman can look as attractive as she wants to look, and it has nothing to do with weight or size. It also has nothing to do with how ugly or pretty she is. Two things determine how attractive a woman looks. The first has to do with her natural attributes. A woman can look attractive if she capitalizes on what she considers to be her best feature…that is, her eyes may be beautiful, and so she makes certain her eyes draw the attention. The second has to do with what she has inside, the aura she creates around her as she interacts with others. A woman who is naturally not good-looking can exude a most attractive aura, if she has beauty in her soul. Consequently, a very ugly woman can look pretty and a very pretty woman can look ugly, depending on what they present to the world. Any woman “worth her salt” can “Barbie doll-it-up”, when she wants to. After all, the woman that we present to the world is seldom the woman who gets out of bed in the morning.
The world only sees most of us after we have freshened up, oiled up, greased down, and (as the girls say now) “beat” our faces and hair into shape for the day. I once met a woman who declared that her husband had never seen her without her makeup, and they had been married for several years. Since her children were born in the days before the husband was allowed in the delivery room, she had hired a makeup artist to come and apply her makeup before her husband was allowed to see her and the baby. Quite recently, I have seen pictures on the internet of women, who, although the photo session must have been deliberate, made no effort to look good for the pictures. I wonder just what these women are thinking. I know they want to be “real”, but they must not get it that people, especially other women, who look at the pictures are sitting back thinking about how little they must care about themselves and their presentation to the world. Most of the time, photographers make sure their subjects look good, but I guess it’s not a consideration for some women now. It really should be. Women, fat or thin, should always have such pride in themselves that they strive to look their very best when they present themselves to the world. It isn’t a matter of trying to be fake or phony, because I am the last person who would ever encourage anyone to be phony. It is a matter of pride in presentation, especially if we espouse our love for God. God made us in His image and His likeness, so we’d better “represent”. Can’t let folks think God looks sloppy or just plain “sad”. Being fat just lets them know that God must eat well… being sloppy is just totally unacceptable.