When life gives you lemons

I had always heard of the saying “when life gives you lemons” I had never expected anything of this sort to happen... I picked up a quarter off the ground, and with nothing better to do, went to a slot machine and had a happy surprise, three lemons. I took my winnings and decided to try my luck again. Once again, three lemons. I kept going until the machine no longer had any money. I tried a few more times just to make sure, still all lemons, but no money came out aside from the quarter I had put in. Marveling at my luck I went to the next machine. I lost a quarter... So only that one. My highly mathematical brain quickly counted up the money I had earned. $158.50. That was a great stroke of luck. Not that it was that much money really, but it picked up my spirits. I carried a sack to the grocery store, hoping to get rid of all my change with the trip. I walked down the isles. Then I saw it, my mathematical brain worked on it’s own as I passed, then I turned around, and checked. The price calculated tax. 10 lemons for $8.50. As I had walked my subconscious had calculated that I had exactly enough for 1010 lemons. That was my birthday, October tenth. Life was obviously trying to give me lemons. I didn’t know why just yet, but who was I to question fate? I walked to the cashier and asked how many lemons they had.

“Well a shipment of ten thousand and ten lemons is just about to come in, so however many you like”

I plopped the sack of change on the desk “You can count the change, I would like every single lemon in that shipment diverted to my garage.”

She looked at me funny then called the manager. After a long conversation and he agreed to sell me all those lemons.

With them in my garage I thought about what to do with them. Then a voice in my head said “Make lemonade” That was it! Life had given me lemons. I set to work, I used all my sugar, and spent the next three days squeezing lemons.

Then I didn’t know what to do. I was never going to drink all of this. I was beginning to regret my decision of spending all of the money on them. I mean seriously, what the hell was I going to do with this stuff? I had filled up every singly watertight surface in my house, including the bathtub. I sat, sipping at a glass of lemonade, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do with it all. Then I heard something, something quiet as if from far off. I listened closely, it was coming from up above... And it was laughter. Possibly it was just in my head, but at that moment I thought god was laughing at me. Ah well, I thought, I have enough lemonade to drink until it sours... or whatever you call it when lemonade goes bad, and I also had a new saying to focus on “easy come, easy go.”