At The Bottom of Everything Ep1 Pt 1

At the Bottom of Everything

Episode 1: Part 1



SCENE 1. INT. NICELY DECORATED FLAT. DAY

ALEX’S GIRLFRIEND SARAH IS CLEANING HER FLAT. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

SARAH
Come in

ALEX BOUNDS THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE AN EXCITED PUPPY.

ALEX (excitedly)
Hello Sarah, my love!

HE HUGS AND KISSES HER. SHE PUSHES HIM OFF.

SARAH (with frustration)
Please Alex, sit down. We need to talk.

THEY BOTH SIT DOWN ON THE SOFA. ALEX HAS BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE.

ALEX
Of course baby, we can talk about whatever you want. As long as I can hear your beautiful voice I don’t mind.

SARAH
Well... that’s very kind and sweet of you Alex but I’m afraid. Well I don’t know how to say this but...I’ve found someone else.

ALEX LOOKS WITH DISBELIEF

ALEX
What?

HE LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AS IF IT’S A JOKE

ALEX
You’re kidding right? Is this one of your deadpan jokes like that one about the dead baby...because I liked those jokes, please tell me this is a joke Sarah. Please.


SARAH
It’s not a joke Alex. It’s not you it’s me...

ALEX (interrupting)
But...

SARAH TRIES TO ASSERT HER AUTHORITY

SARAH
Just listen. Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re a nice guy and sweet but I’m just not sure we’re right for each other.

ALEX
What do you mean? We went to that play together last week, you know the one were all the cast were prisoners. You enjoyed, that didn’t you?

SARAH
It wasn’t that good

ALEX
Well I thought that biker guy was great as the Queen of Hearts. You could really feel his anger with that lesbian murderer as Alice.

SARAH
Look, His name’s Jamie. I met him at my yoga class. He’s a really cool and nice guy and he’s interested in all the things I like. I mean, he likes French literature, yoga He’s a buddhist as well.

ALEX TURNS ANGRY

ALEX
Oh of course he is. Those types are always like that. I bet he’s a veggie as well and has his own fucking espresso machine.

SARAH
Well, as a matter of fact he does and he’s vegan but that’s not the point. It’s just...he’s more...cultured than you.

ALEX
I can do culture. Remember when I took you to that wildlife photography exhibition and remember that banksy I found.

SARAH
I’m pretty sure banksy doesn’t draw penises on tory election posters Alex.

ALEX (interrupting)
What job does this bastard have anyway? I bet he’s in a band or something.

SARAH
He’s a graphic designer and he plays the piano.

ALEX
That’s not even a real job and anyone who plays the piano is.... I don’t know but he’s still a twat.

SARAH
See this is what I mean. You can be so nasty and ignorant sometimes Alex!

ALEX
You used to like my nasty comments about celebrities and stuff.

SARAH
Well I’ve moved on now, and so should you. We’ve drifted apart like tectonic plates and it’s best that we just end it now before it turns into an earthquake.

ALEX PAUSES FOR A MINUTE AND LOOKS DOWN AS IF TO SAY YOU’RE RIGHT. HE BEGINS TO WALK TO THE DOOR AND TURNS ROUND.

ALEX
You don’t get earthquakes on constructive plate boundaries anyway. We should be like a destructive boundary

HE MESHES HIS FINGERS TOGETHER

ALEX
Then we can erupt and burn with passion.

SARAH
Just go Alex

ALEX REALISES HE’S BEEN DEFEATED AND LEAVES



2 DAYS LATER

SCENE 2. INT. MEETING ROOM. DAY

ALEX IS SITTING DISHEVELED IN A MEETING ROOM WITH SEVERAL EXECUTIVES. THE BOSS IS GIVING A PRESENTATION.

BOSS (to the group)
This business is like a penis. It keeps growing and growing until we ejaculate out so much insurance that the little old ladies asking for home insurance are covered in money semen. However...

HE FLIPS OVER ANOTHER SHEET OF PAPER AND DRAWS A FLACCID PENIS

BOSS
At the moment our business is floppy, it still works but it doesn’t have the same amount of thrust as it did. We need viagra to get this business going and guess who the viagra is? You. The staff together we can make this business the best in the world. We can do it!

THE GROUP REPLY “YES” AND CLAP HIM

BOSS
Right now Alex is going to give his presentation on how we can improve our motivation and dedication.

ALEX SITS TO ATTENTION

ALEX
What?

BOSS
Your presentation? Remember? Go on...

ALEX
Right...

ALEX GOES OVER TO THE FLIP BOARD



ALEX
Well to be frank I haven’t got a presentation. But who the fuck cares?

ALEX STANDS ON THE TABLE

ALEX
Ha, look at you all. Grey suited secretary fucking twats and you know what. Fuck you all. I couldn’t care less about this poxy business’s motivation or dedication. For all I care all of you could be replaced by monkeys and this shitty business wouldn’t be any worse off. I am fed up with this world, maybe I can find a balloon and fly all over the world and find some magical island populated by talking frogs and naked women. Yeah that’s right. I’m moving on, I’m leaving this dump and I’m going to find a new life. I could become whoever I fucking well want and you know what? I’m gonna enjoy it, I’m gonna get a girlfriend and have crazy explorational sex with telephones and those little forks you get at the chip shop and then I’ll have a kid and call it Rambo and I’m gonna fuck you all up you wankers!

THE BOSS CALLS SECURITY IN AND THEY DRAG ALEX OUT OF THE DOOR

ALEX
You can’t silence me! I’m raging against the machine I’m...

THE SECURITY MAN PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE

THE SECURITY PEOPLE DRAG ALEX OUT OF SIGHT

THE BOSS STANDS UP, SHOCKED BY WHAT’S JUST HAPPENED

BOSS
Who wants muffins?

THE BUSINESS MEN CHEER

CUT TO ALEX BEING DRAGGED ONTO THE STREET BY THE SECURITY GUARDS. THEY DROP HIM IN THE ROAD AND GO BACK INTO THE BUILDING.

ALEX STANDS UP AND LOOKS BACK AT THE OFFICE BUILDING.

ALEX (rhetorically)
Does this mean I’m fired?

SCENE 3. EXT. STREETS. DAY

MONTAGE OF ALEX WALKING SLOWLY DOWN THE STREET TO MUSIC

HE IS PESTERED BY A HOMELESS MAN

HE IS THEN PESTERED BY AS RELIGIOUS PREACHER, HE THEN SNAPS AND RIPS UP HIS BOOKLETS.

IT STARTS RAINING AND A CAR DRIVES THROUGH A PUDDLE COVERING ALEX IN WATER.

HE SEES FIRE TRUCKS WITH THEIR SIRENS DRIVE QUICKLY ALONG THE STREET.

THE MONTAGE ENDS WITH HIM SITTING WALKING TOWARDS HIS BLOCK OF FLATS WHICH ARE ON FIRE. HE STANDS THERE IN SHOCK.