Unforgiving Longing

Uncertainty has been festering in my heart
from the first time my eyes ever rested upon you.
You were sitting across the room, knowing you were alone.

Satirical and arrogant, hiding the insecurities
that I knew were hiding in your shadows.
You were a mystery to me, you still are.
You never asked questions, you just knew.

You knew that I was hurting. That I was alone.
That I was withering away in my existence.
It was our silent understanding.

Your blue eyes were protecting
what was left of your torn heart.
You understood me.
And somewhere along the way, I started falling.

The embarrassed smile on your face,
Your heart and your mind.
I continue to fall and you have no idea.

My inner voice is screaming at the top of my lungs,
belting out those three absolutely ridiculous words,
but all I can ever do is smile.

I want to hug you. I want to hold you.
I want to kiss you and I want to snuggle up next to you and sleep.
I want to rest my head on your chest
and listen to your heart beat,
because then, at least I know you are alive.

I want something that is timeless,
spiraling out of control, rising and falling,
crashing together and falling apart,
only to finally rest calmly looking out at a horizon we can never touch.

Never knowing what is to come,
but only to be content with where we are,
who we are, and what we have, in that moment.
I love you, ok? There, I said it.