High School Hell

         Have you ever read a book where it seems that the geeky freaky girl is best friends with the most popular girl and ends up getting the most popular guy in school. This isn't one of those stories. This is a story about my high school life and how crazy, emotional, and wild it was.

         Let's begin with a little background information about me. My name is Chelsea and I grew up in a small town called Apple Valley located in the state of California. I lived there until I was eighteen and ended high school. My childhood was pretty decent, I had a mom, dad, and little sister. It seemed like a happy family until my parents decided to get a divorce. That was before I hit kindergarten and started elementary, where I got teased for being so tall and always getting into trouble. That is also when I developed my first crush on a boy named Jordan, since then I have been a little boy crazy. Middle school wasn't much different. I was teased for being the geeky girl and being a little boy crazy, especially when I had a crush on one of the basketball teams upperclassmen, Bryce. Middle school was also where I met my best friend, Ali, who by eighth grade was one of the most popular girls in school. Its one of those friendship relationships where you don't quite understand how the two can be friends. We met through Ali's boyfriend at the time and just hit it off, we played soccer together and hung out. Life was treating me good and then high school came...

         High school was harsh and cruel. The kids got meaner with every year and the underclassmen were pieces of meat ready to be eaten. Freshmen year was very mundane and quiet, Sophomore year was when my emotions were in a complete haze, Junior year was hell, Senior year was long and the best year I had during high school.

         Ninth grade, oh how I loathed thee. Nothing exciting happens during freshmen year. You get talked to by your teachers like your slow and don't now what your doing, upperclassmen look down upon you because they can. Teasing is worse because now that puberty hit there is a lot more to look at and judge. It was just a plain year for me, I still had a crush on Bryce and that didn't go away, teasing happened, and life was just the same. I failed my p.e.class and had to do summer school. Summer was when I got my first boyfriend that lasted into the beginning of sophomore year.

         Tenth grade, how emotions can screw you up, down, and around. His name was Robert, tall, lanky and just plain goofy. He made me feel pleasant and fun and then cheated on me. That was the first of many heartbreaks. After I had broken up with him, I gave myself a new look by cutting my hair and dying it blue and yellow. It was just one of those stages where I liked colors a lot. The next guy I dated was a guy named Eddie. A big heavier guy who had long brown hair and a piercing on his lip. He was fun and cute but didn't treat me with any respect as a girlfriend. He broke up with me a couple weeks later. After that i dyed my hair again and the next day met my first love. No it wasn't love at first sight.

         His name was Zack. He was tall, lanky, had a piercing to the right side of his lips. I remember it like it was yesterday. He wore skinny blue jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair was short and brown, gorgeous hazel eyes. I remember the first thing I said to him. I walked up to him and asked if it hurt when he got his piercing. He laughed and said no. We were friends since then and went out for a little while during sophomore year but broke up because it was more friendship then dating. I kept falling more in love with him every time we hung out. He smoked and drank a lot and I would be the one who would take care of him, and that just made falling for him easier. Then junior year came.

          Eleventh grade, hell and emotions. Zack and I stayed friends during my junior year and he went out with a couple girls and I went out with one guy, Mike. Mike was a nice flirty guy who made me laugh and just made me feel good until I found out he was cheating on me. Zack was pissed when he found out and that's when I realized I had realized I had fallen in love with Zack. He was my best friend but I couldn't tell him because he was with another girl. Then in April, he had broken up with her. I was sad for him but also happy, sounds bad but I couldn't help it. He and I were talking a lot and then on April 14th, 2010, he and I had sex. During the whole experience he was saying all these sweet things and then in the middle of it, he said six words that made me cry. "I'm falling in love with you." I was so happy that I wasn't caring about anything else in the world. Then that weekend I got news that made my heart break, he was back together with his girlfriend. I cried non-stop for what seemed like an eternity and then a couple weeks later, still heart-broken I met a guy named Ian. Without meaning to, I began to go out with him trying to get the feel of Zack off me both in body and inside. Ian was nice and shy. He was tall and lanky (have you noticed I like tall and lanky men) nice black hair and pretty eyes. He was sweet but I didn't really love him. Also I found out he was cheating on me since the beginning of our relationship so I broke up with him. That was the end of junior year and then senior year came and life was good.

         Twelfth grade, the only year with a decent memory. I didn't date anyone during Senior year. I had enough heartbreak and turmoil to last me a long time. I just went through the year laughing and smiling with my friends. My school life was perfect but my home was anything but. My parents hated each other, me and my sister fought constantly. I had suicide thoughts more than twice a month. I hated my life, then I found a way out. My grandma had offered to let me come live with her and my grandpa up in Oregon after I graduated. It was decided, I was going. A few weeks went by and it was close to graduation, during one of my classes I had to step outside and I saw him. Zack was standing outside waiting for his girlfriend. He saw me and said hi, and to be civil I said hi back. We began a small conversation, it took everything in me not to cry. I still loved him, after everything he did and said, I couldn't believe I still had feelings for the man in front of me. School ended and I told him bye and ran back inside, letting the tears finally fall. I was just sitting there, crouching down crying into my knees letting all the feelings escape. Finally I got up and went home. Graduation finally came and it was time to finally leave California.

         Oregon, new life, new happiness, new me. Oregon has treated me well, I am a lot happier and a lot less suicidal. I still think about Zack every once in awhile, hoping someone will come along and fill me with a new love so I forget him. However; somewhere deep inside I believe I never will forget him. I can just hope he only takes up a small portion of my heart and not ruin my chance at a new relationship. Life is Oregon is better for me, whats better for you?