Moment

She lay on their wedding bed; body riddled with cancer and the unknown Death a profound presence in every pore of her fifty-five year old skin.

She preferred unconsciousness to the never-ending pain of the senses that accompanied every waking thought, but there is only so long a person can sleep. As the cool sweep of a damp cloth briefly relieves the burning feel of her forehead, she blinks her eyes open to view the face of her caretaker, the same man who has shared this bed with her for close to fifteen years.

At the age of forty, she had discovered herself alone and childless without any true direction to her life. She found in him a kind soul, quiet and gentle. When he asked her to marry him soon after they met, she agreed without hesitation. She had never truly loved him, but enjoyed the unassuming manner with which he carried himself and the comfort to be found cradled safely in his arms. Theirs was a relationship of two acquaintances that recognized the fire of youth had long ago vanished, but there were still many years to be lived in the smoldering ash. Too many years to live though alone. 

Gazing at his face, worn from lack of sleep and excess worry, she sees fifteen years of dedication, through both good times and times such as this one, more awful a moment than anyone should have to bare, but bare it he does. And it is in this single instant, as she lay dying from a sickness of her body’s own making, she feels a change overtake her like nothing she has ever experienced. This sweet- tempered man has faithfully stood by her side for all of their fifteen years, and even as she lay here helpless, exhausted, and dying, he continues to stand tall and sturdy, a solid rock in the persistently brutal wave of attack on her life from within. She is suddenly aware of a deep love for him, radiating from the core of her body outward, so strong she is sure his hands must be able to feel it as they brush the hair back from her sweat-soaked forehead, gentle as always. All of her life must have been a waste because nothing could ever be better than this feeling of complete and total love. The bliss spreads out to every atom of her being; completing the alteration so finally that she knows nothing will ever be the same again.

Just as instantly, the happiness and glow flees. A soft moan of despair slips from her lips as the horrible realization of just how limited the time frame of this newly discovered feeling is. Death comes slowly for her just as surely as this wonderful man will continue to care for her until it arrives.

Thinking her moan of hopelessness to be one of pain, her love frowns and reaches for the medication, ready to surrender her to sleep again.