BIG DREAMS & BROKEN HEARTS

CHAPTER 1

    Antoinette sat on the edge of her king-sized bed, leaning on one of the four intricately carved bedposts. The large room was dimly illuminated by the decorative lights built into the hand carved marble fireplace. The soft glow cast dark shadows along the burgundy walls and white carpets like silent ghosts. The gloomy ambience reflected Antoinette’s dark mood, her anger and frustration was rising with each ticking second of the small clock on the nightstand. The phone was gripped so hard in her hand she thought it would snap at any moment. It was an effort to resist hurling the damned thing across the room.

“This isn’t what you said, Carrie. You…”

“I didn’t expect this change of circumstances…” her boss replied.

“But I can still do this. I know it’s going to be demanding, but I can cope.”

“I’m not taking risks on this, darling. Jodie is right, it’ll be too tasking for you.” Carrie insisted.

Don’t you lose your cool, she warned herself, but it was proving difficult to keep her temper in check.


“The baby won’t affect my performance at all, I swear.” She said. It was almost a shout.

“I’m sorry but I’m giving the project to Jodie.” Carrie announced.

That evil, conniving bitch! Antoinette swore silently.

  Jodie Robertson was one of Antoinette’s colleagues at Kramer & Co., one of the biggest architectural companies in the country. She was one of the senior architects at the company but Antoinette’s rapid rise within her short two and a half years there, had sparked a simmering rivalry between the two women.

“Come on, Carrie, She’s been going on about my ‘condition’ as if I’ve caught a contagious disease or something. Once I have the baby, I’ll hire a full time nanny and everything will be back on track.” she promised, but her boss wasn’t to be convinced.

“This is really unfair and you know it…” her temper rising a notch.

“This is not about you or Jodie, I have to do what I think is best for everyone.”

“I won’t disappoint you, Carrie, I can do this.” She pleaded again.

“I’m not doubting your ability, Antoinette, but I need a hundred per cent commitment on this project and you’re not going to give me that with a baby on the way. ”

“Carrie, I need this. It’s the only chance I have of getting promoted.” A note of desperation crept into her voice.

“I’m sorry, darling, I really am. You do understand my situation though?”

“But I’ve worked so hard for this chance…” Antoinette knew she was fighting a losing battle. Carrie was a real sweetheart, but she was also practical when the occasion demanded it. To her, business was business and the silence on her end only confirmed what Antoinette already knew.
    She sighed in resignation, fighting the overwhelming sense of anger and frustration, It was hard to breath, like she was trapped underwater and could not come up for air. The throbbing vein in her head was quickly turning into a headache and she could feel tears welling up. She was helpless. There was nothing she could do.

You can only blame yourself!

“You’re not going to change your mind, are you?” It was more a statement than a question. She felt deflated, all the fight drained from her. There was no point arguing any longer.

“Don’t worry yourself Antou, there will be many more opportunities for you. This stressing isn’t good for the baby either.” 

Arghhh! here we go again!

A string of angry obscenities ran through her mind and she only managed to bite her tongue through sheer strength of will. Why the hell was everyone so concerned about a baby they haven’t even seen yet? 
 
Why is everyone is so obsessed with it! Nobody seems to give a damn about me… or what it will do to my career. It’s always “don’t do this, it’s not good for the baby” or “don’t eat that it’s bad for the baby.” What about me! It’s caused me nothing but grief so far!

    She looked at her own reflection in the mirrors of the adjacent dresser. At thirty years old, Antoinette was an embodiment of feminine beauty. With her large-set brown eyes, full sensual lips and smooth caramel skin, she commanded attention from both men and women at every turn.
    She pulled out the band that held back her long black hair. The high cheekbones and perfectly shaped oval face could easily have belonged on a fashion magazine cover. Even her figure was a masterpiece of creation, just above average height, medium build and legs the length of the Eiffel tower, she was almost perfect. The only flaw albeit temporary, and cause of her current woes, was the huge protruding belly, evidence of her eight months pregnancy.
      Just eight months ago, thing had been very different. Antoinette’s brilliance as an architect was rewarded with fast promotions and bigger projects. Then one day her boss had walked into her office and offered her the biggest break of her career.
   
                              ***
   
      Eight months ago, Carrie had walked into her office and perched herself on the desk. Her short stockinged legs dangled on the edge. A pleasantly plump, baby faced brunette, she was dressed in her usual attire, black suit and knee length skirt. Antoinette wondered if her entire wardrobe was made up of the same attire.

“We have a big project in the works” she announced.

“Ollie did mention something like that yesterday.” Antoinette replied.

“Hearts are planning to build a new stadium.”

“Oh… who’s Hearts, by the way?”

“You’ve lived here for years, Antou, you still don’t know the city’s football team?”

“Do I care about football? I know some of the names but I don’t know which is which” Antoinette confessed.

“ Hearts is one of the two Edinburgh teams in the league.”

“Oh, ok.” Antoinette said without much enthusiasm.

“Anyway,” Carrie continued, “the new owner, Mahmoud Al-Najjar wants to build a new stadium and we’ve got the design and planning contracts.”

“that’s gonna be big.” Antoinette said, not bothering to look up from her work.

“I know. The thing is, I’m thinking of letting you head the project.”

    Antoinette literally jumped out of her chair in excitement. Her blackberry went flying but she was oblivious to it. This was a dream come true! All her hard work was about to pay off, the assistant manager’s position would be hers. She threw her arms around the grinning Carrie.

“Oh my God Carrie, you won’t be disappointed, I prom…”

“Mind you, nothing’s been finalised yet.” Carrie cut her off with a warning finger. “The board is really anxious to impress on this one. This guy has large business holdings and that could mean a lot of business in future for the company.”

What she said next was the icing on the cake for Antoinette.

“Look, you are hardworking and quite honestly one of the best people I’ve worked with, if you handle this right, I will personally pitch your name to the board for Oliver’s position when he leaves.”

“I don’t know what to say, Carrie.”

“Don’t worry, I know that promotion means a lot to you.” Carrie winked. “I’m out of here, I have a date tonight and I badly need a pedicure.” She was already halfway out of the door.

Antoinette calmly closed the door, then she ran around the office jumping and whooping like a rock star at the Glastonbury concert.

This is my big break and nothing is going to stop me now.

A week later Antoinette had found out she was going to have a baby, one that just might jeopardise all her career plans and hard work.

Over a stupid pregnancy… Carrie will never let me take on a project of this magnitude now, she had thought.

                            ***

    That was eight months ago. Sitting on her bed now, the phone still held to her ear, that same thought was running through her mind.

  This is what happens when you lose sight of your goals. Relentless commitment and hard work, that’s what got you here, how could you let this opportunity slip through your fingers?

  She was roused from her self-admonishing reverie by Carrie’s voice. The words had become an annoying, monotonous drone in her ears. She had no interest in the conversation any longer. It was a relief when Carrie finally said goodbye.

“I’ll see you Monday then, darling.” 

“See ya.” She mumbled back disinterestedly as her boss hung up.

    She sat staring at herself in the mirror for another few minutes, her mind a complete blank. The anger slowly dissipated, replaced by a sense of resignation now. She had no choice but to accept her fate.
    With a sigh, she looked at the platinum Chanel watch on her wrist, a birthday gift from her husband. It was almost half past six, time to start dinner preparations. She wasn’t in the cooking mood but a couple of Gabby’s friends usually came over to watch football on TV on Saturdays, besides, Gabby’s best friend Andy, was coming too. He had just finished a tour of duty in Afghanistan, and was headed over. She looked forward to seeing Andy. He was almost like a brother to her, easy to talk to, and She confided in him about anything. He always listened to her and gave good honest advice. 

Thank God he’s back from that horrible place in one piece.

They had worried about Andy whenever there was news of British casualties in the war.
        She rose from the bed with some effort. Thanks to the huge belly, getting up and sitting had become an ordeal. With one hand firmly under her massive belly she trudged towards the bedroom door, trying to ignore the ever-present ache in her back. It was Just one of the endless nuisances of her pregnancy.

This baby has been nothing but trouble so far, she thought.