Far From Fine

I’ve been brought down, been pulled apart too many times now. Need to pick myself up and piece me back together. Too bad I cannot seem too remember how. I am tired of it all, tired of feeling like this for way to long. If it is not one thing, it is always something else. Can you tell this is a far cry from my happy self? I am just trying to remember when things were just so easy. The way I used to go outside without a care in the world, and go dancing in the rain. I would lie out underneath the open sky at night, wishing on every shooting star I would see. I wished for everything to turn out right. But nothing here is alright, and I am far from being fine.
My body trembles, cannot stop screaming that life is not fair. So here I am, back into this darkened hole I cannot get out of, my fingers entangled in my hair. I am tired of it all. I am tired of feeling like this for way too long. If it is not one person, it is always someone else. Can you not tell that this is a far cry from my happy self? I just try to remember, when things were easy. The way I could just step outside without a care in the world, and skip through the rain. I would lay out under the open sky at night, wishing on every shooting star I would see. I wished for everything to turn our right. But nothing here is alright, and I am far from being fine.
My head is on fire. I cannot even think of what to say. All I know is that these thoughts are scaring me, and I cannot make them go away. I am tired of it all, tired of feeling like this for way too long. If it is not one reason, it is always another. Can you tell this is my last cry there is no happy self? I can no longer remember when things were ever easy. I don’t remember going outside. I have no care in the world, as my life drains away. One final time, I lie out under the night-sky; a single tear falls as I see a shooting star. I wished everything had turned out right. But nothing here is alright, and I am far from being fine.
I am so tired, but I don’t have to feel any longer. As I close my eyes for the last time, I feel alright. Everything is finally going to be fine.


© Tana Lee Buoy