Blind Date

The Blind Date

Jorge: Dude, Dude turn that off.

Raz: No.

Jorge: Dude turn that video game off.

Raz: No.

Jorge: If you play that shit all day your eyes are gonna get worse than they already are.

Raz: I have 20/20.

Jorge: Whatever man, listen. I met this chick today at this restaurant..

Raz: So you went to the strip club. Continue...

Jorge: Whatever man, listen. So I met this super fine chick that would be perfect for you. She said she's got like amnesia or something.

Raz: Isn't that where you eat two carrot sticks a day?

Jorge: Turn that video game off, man. It's like where you can't remember anything past five minutes ago. She's perfect for you, cause every time you say something stupid she's gonna forget before she has a chance to get mad!

Raz: Hmmm... No.

Jorge: You haven't had a girlfriend in like... what... 3 years?

Raz: It's been two weeks.

Jorge: Whatever man, listen. I set you up on a blind date with this chick. But here's the thing... I told her it was gonna be like a speed-dating kinda thing, and that one of the dudes would be you. Since she has amnesia, you get unlimited tries to get in her pants!

Raz: .....

Jorge: Just shave that stupid mustache and we're out. I told her the thing is in an hour.

Raz: I don't have a mustache... Dude take your sunglasses off, you're blind.

Jorge: What sunglasses?

Raz: …. Let's just go.

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Later..

Raz: So, um.... what's up?

Stacy: Hey.. (giggle)

Raz: Jorge didn't tell me much about you..

Stacy: Jorge? Oh, that guy at the strip club?

Raz: (man...) Yeah, I guess.

Stacy: Have you ever done one of these things before?

Raz: Uh... not really. I usually just chill, smoke bud and play video games.

Stacy: Oh...

Raz: (shit...) Um, did you hear that bell? I think it's time for the next round. It was nice meeting you!

Stacy: You too!

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5 minutes later..

Raz: Hi there!

Stacy: Hey!

Raz: I'm Raz.

Stacy: Stacy.

Raz: So, have you ever done one of these before?

Stacy: No, have you?

Raz: Not really. I usually meet chicks at concerts, clubs, you know... cool places like that.

Stacy: Oh.. I'm not much into the bar scene. I like guys who work long hours... Plus my cat died of alcohol poisoning.

Raz: Well that's stupid. (did I say that out loud?... Shit...)

Raz: Did you, uh, hear that bell? I think it's time for another round.

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5 minutes later...

Raz: Well hello! And who might you be?

Stacy: Stacy! And you?

Raz: Dr. Raz Pinkerton, but please call me Raz. I get so tired of hearing “Dr. Pinkerton, Mr. Pinkerton” all day at work!

Stacy: You must be pretty important.

Raz: Nah... Well, maybe. I'm the head of surgery at Northside Hospital. I stay pretty busy. Not much time for the bar scene or video games or any of that.

Stacy: I like a man who works hard!

Raz: I've always had a strong work ethic. I got it in the Marines, where I was a platoon commander.

Stacy: Wow, that's impressive!

Raz: So.. would you like to get lunch some time?

Stacy: Oh, no thanks. I'm anorexic.... didn't your friend tell you? But I'd love to meet another one of your crazy personalities!