My Secret

I sit here

scrubbing

scrubbing

scrubbing

at the horrifying ebony skin

But it stays dark,

too dark to be accepted by the good people

too dark to be accepted by the people that could love me

too dark to be accepted by anybody


I throw the rough, soapy sponge on the floor

I'll never be like them

but I'd give anything… everything


I kneel down on the floor and pray

I pray to look like snow, instead of terrible, disgusting mud

I pray to go outside, and not be given dirty looks

I pray to go to sleep, and wake up a white woman


I get up and grab a paintbrush, and slowly spread the white paint

God, my family would be ashamed

the only people that love me, would despise me instead

so let's keep this our little secret