Hopeless or Just Young?

She thinks I'm a virgin.
Heck I'm definitely not.
Three is my number, I wonder what's hers.
I'm sure it’s only one because she is quite a "angel"
I mean that in a good way I swear.

They see intelligence and wittiness.
They think I'm smart but really I'm not.
I guess it's a compliment but it's also just pressure.
Talents for me are a foreign concept.
I have what seems to be
None.


They think I am beautiful but all I see are big pores and boring brown eyes.
Some would say I was blessed with the best but I think they're a curse.
I want to model. After I lose twenty?
And no, I don't actually need to.
Oh, what has this world done to me?
What have I done to myself?

I don't know what I want other than a beach house in a New England town
and a husband that I can fall in love with all over again each and every day.
Some fairytale?
((I know.))
Oh and I would love a light up sash for my twenty first birthday. Please.

This is my life- what's going on.

One day I want to be a photographer and the next I want to be working for the DEA.
My mind. Is like a million pieces of shattered glass at this stage.
...is that okay?