Fences

         “What?”
         “I find it illogical that humans would still desire to build enclosures around their domiciles that have no practical use when residential crime is non-existent and climate control prevents severe weather,” Spock replied in his usual calm but curious manner.  The air was sultry on this typical day in the “Old South” as Dr. McCoy often called it.  It had taken a lot of discussion, but McCoy had finally convinced Spock to accompany him on a trip to tour the town of his family roots.  He was starting to regret it.
         “Tell me Spock; even Vulcans must appreciate the value of aesthetics.  Why, even look at Vulcan architecture and you find it has an elegant, simple, and peaceful feel to it,” McCoy countered.
         “Therein lays your error Doctor, when you refer to how it makes you feel, since Vulcan architecture clearly manifests the specific needs for which it is built.  The ancient ruins in the S’ Tar Mountains are built with simple design to provide shelter against the wind storms that frequent that region and the historical ruins of Rumar…”
         “Dam it Spock!”  McCoy’s exasperation grew.  “Take the feelings out of it and you’re still left with some beautiful structures.  Can you deny that?!”  Why was it that, as they walked along this old section of town, with its beautiful 19th century houses, elegantly flowered gardens, and stately shade and willow trees, was he dripping with sweat whereas Spock looked cool as a cucumber?!
         “I am simply pointing out Doctor, that usefulness is an excellent manifestation of perceived beauty.  I fail to see the function of building enclosures that are only point six zero nine six meters in height.  They are not high enough to protect the domiciles.  There is no uniformity in appearance and a sidewalk is provided so visitors can walk down the street and not on any properties.”
         They had finally arrived at the transporter station and non-too-soon for McCoy’s tastes.  As Spock gave the attendant his coordinates for beaming he continued, “Such enclosures would not keep anything unwanted out or family pets in.”
         “Spock, you’re not getting my point!”
         Spock stepped onto the transporter pad and flatly replied, “Your point is not logical, Doctor.”
         “Forget it, you…you…green picket fence!”
         “As you wish, Doctor McCoy,” Spock replied with one eyebrow raised.  To the attendant he stated, “Energize.”  He could not forget it.  He had come to respect the Doctor’s ability to see things through emotion.  That emotion had brought them through some tough times.  Why would Doctor McCoy call him a green enclosure?  The next logical step was to research just what a “green picket fence” was and how it was used.  He determined to use the next few hours of his time to research this further since he was not scheduled to hold class at the Academy until later that afternoon.

. . .

         “Come in Bones, it’s good to see you.”
         McCoy was still fuming from his conversation with Spock so he did not notice the pile of camping and climbing equipment in the middle of Kirk’s quarters as he burst out in angry complaint, “You’d think some people would have just appreciated the beauty of their surroundings when invited to visit their friend’s home-town.”
         Kirk noticed that McCoy’s southern drawl was stronger than usual, a clear warning that something really had him riled up.  “You must have taken Spock with you on your trip home,” he replied with a knowing smile.
         “All he could talk about was how there was no need for fences!” McCoy said sharply, “Him and his damn logic!”
         “So what reason did he give you for not needing fences?” Kirk asked.
         “Oh, he went on and on about how there was no crime to speak of and what enclosures are really designed for.  The only thing he sees a design for is the functional use of the thing.  The man has NO sense of aesthetics,” McCoy grumbled.  He finally noticed the growing pile of supplies, “What are you doing?”
         “I’ve wanted to go to the Cascades and O’Hara got time off this weekend so we’re going camping, hiking and climbing.”
         “I know O’Hara’s an experienced climber and you’re pretty good at it as well but I wish you wouldn’t risk yourself like that,” McCoy’s voice took on a softer but whining tone, “You make me nervous, that’s all.”
         “You could join us if you like,” Kirk invited.
         “What?  And be forced to pick up the pieces when one of you takes a tumble?  I think not!  Why would I want to wear my feet out traipsing around in the mountains?”
         “You wouldn’t have to come for the whole trip.  You could beam in at the camp after we did our climb and enjoy the evening by the campfire,” Kirk encouraged with a teasing grin.
         “And have my atoms spread halfway across the earth?  You know me better than that!” McCoy replied indignantly.
         “So tell me more about this trip.  Are you going for the exercise or for the company of O’Hara being that she is of the female persuasion?” McCoy asked with a little teasing grin of his own.

. . .

         “There are three thousand seven hundred and thirty two enclosure descriptions in this data bank,” a flat female voice stated.
         “Visual image of a green picket fence,” Spock requested of the Academy Library computer.  One could just see Spock’s dark hair over the top of the privacy cubical as the muffled sounds of a number of cadets could be heard coming from the hundreds of cubicles around him.
         “There is no record of a green picket fence in this data bank,” the flat female voice responded.
         “Please list green fences,” Spock stated.
         “There are nine hundred eighty two green fences listed in this data bank; Aaront Moss Wall of Lenaj IV, Adell Wood Split Rail of Tenra Moon….”

. . .

         “Just how serious are you and Jenny O’Hara? McCoy asked his friend.
         “Are you playing ‘mother-hen” again Bones?”
         “Don’t side-skirt the issue, Jim.  Are you two getting serious?”
         “We’re just friends.”
         “I thought so.” McCoy stated with a smirk.
         “Really, Bones, we enjoy many of the same things.  She has a great sense of herself and where she is going.  That comes out in everything she does.” Kirk insisted.  The look on McCoy’s face was smug and just a little humorous.  It was starting to annoy James Kirk.
         “I’ve seen it again and again, Jim.  You’re attracted to commanding women and Jenny is just that.  Actually I think you’ve met your match in her.” McCoy said smugly.
         “Are you out to alienate all your friends today, Doctor?” Kirk grumbled.
         “Don’t be so touchy about it, Jim, I just think you and Jenny make a good couple because you don’t intimidate her.” McCoy defended.
         “She and I are just good friends.  Let’s just leave it at that, ok?”  Kirk’s reply came in his familiar commanding tone of finality.  “You’re still welcome to join us.”
         “On that note, I’m heading home.  Contact me when you get back so I don’t worry you’ve fallen off some cliff or something.”
         “We’re leaving in the morning just after she gets done teaching her class and we’ll be back in about four days.  I’ll fill you in on all the gory details then.” Kirk said with a grin.
         “Spare me the details.” McCoy moaned as he left.

. . .

         “Computer, take the image of the white picket fence and change all white pigments of the fence to green.” Spock quietly requested.  The image changed before his eyes showing a two story white antebellum style house with a green picket fence approximately two fee high.  The green seemed to take on what a human would consider a ghoulish nature, fading into the grass as it became the same shade of green.
         “Make the green of the fence 20% lighter grade than the grass.” Spock said as his eyebrow rose in question.  There was still no logic to Doctor McCoy’s label that he was a green picket fence.  Perhaps Admiral Kirk could help him understand the human’s view of this observation.
         “Computer, end session.”  Spock commanded.  He had just enough time to see Admiral Kirk before his late afternoon class began.

. . .

         “Spock, I was expecting you.” Kirk said with a grin.
         “How could you expect me Admiral, if you were not informed of my coming?” Spock Puzzled.
         “Doctor McCoy was here earlier and said you visited his old neighborhood.  It seems you got him quite riled up.”
         “He was quite emotional about residential enclosures.  It appears that I have offended him by stating the obvious fact that there is no longer a logical need for them.” Spock said thoughtfully.
         James Kirk looked at his friend with amusement, “You were on his ‘turf” and you devalued something he takes delight in.”
         “That was not my intention.” Spock replied and then he questioned, “How could I devalue something that has lost its purpose?”
         “Remember Spock, you are dealing with an emotional creature in Doctor McCoy and like all humans, anything that evokes feelings changes their concept of values.”
         “That is not logical.”
         “That’s the point, Spock.”
         Spock pondered this and then asked, “You have excellent insight into this Admiral, could you also explain to me why Doctor McCoy would call me a ‘green-picket-fence’?”
         James Kirk started laughing which brought an immediate rise of one of Spock’s eyebrows.  Obviously there was some point of humor but it eluded Spock.  As Spock’s face showed more puzzlement Kirk laughed all the harder.
         “Admiral?” Spock questioned.
         Kirk took a couple deep breaths as he gave a few remaining chuckles and then he said, “It’s the ears Spock.  It’s your pointed ears.”