Intolerance knows many forms. Can an outsider ever fit in? |
“I’m sorry Helen, but there’s nothing left. By the time we pay for the funeral you’ll have about three thousand pounds.” Mr Graves the solicitor said. “Your mum hadn’t planned for her death.” “What about the house?” I asked. “Am I going to lose it too?” “I’m afraid so, it was a rented property.” Two weeks after I left the solicitors I was opening the door of my new apartment. It was in Belfast, miles from home and from all I knew. I had got a flat mate and a wreck of a car and was prepared for my new life as an urban witch. My new room mate Shelly Jamison was a local girl and she had a boyfriend, Davy who was very curious about my herbal remedies. He would stand in my kitchen where I made up the preparations and quiz me about them. “So, what does this do?” He asked as he plucked the flower head of a teasel. “It aids healing.” “What d’you mean? How does it work?” “You make a poultice with it and when it is applied to an open wound it helps to close it.” “Oh.” He replied, standing up as Shelly came in. “You don’t believe in this rubbish, do you?” He asked. “Course not, it’s a pile o’ shite.” She replied as she grabbed her jacket from the chair. “Are we goin’?” “Yeah, I need to call in at Johnny’s before we get to the pub.” “God, do we have to. He gives me the creeps.” “Yes, we do. Maybe you’ll show me how those herbs work sometime.” He said as he pushed Shelly out the door. Shelly and Davy went out every night. I was glad of that, it meant that I could pretend that the apartment was mine and mine only. I would prepare tisanes and lotions but as most of my medicines worked best when fresh I could only make a few things in advance. Once a month I would go to a floating market where people knew me but as it was one of those word of mouth things I could not rely on it for an income. So I worked in the local Tesco. I worked as many shifts as I could, I needed to. I was saving to go to nursing college and it was not cheap. “Hey Helen.” Said Shelly. She was swaying in the middle of the door. “Could you help me?” I turned in surprise, She was never home this early. She was covered in blood and looked as though she had been in a fight. “How did this happen?” I asked as I prepared a concoction of sweet chervil and honey, cleaned the worst of her scratches and began to apply the poultice to a cut above her eye. “Some stupid cow was makin’ a play for Davy. I told her, I warned her that he was taken and she’d get what for if she didn’t quit.” “She didn’t stop?” “No, she didn’t. So I showed her.” “Really, how bad?” “Let’s just say nobody will be hittin’ on her no more.” She smirked at me and winked. Soon it became a regular thing. Shelly would come home covered in cuts and bruises. She had been fighting with some girl or other and expected me to patch her up. One morning after a particularly vicious fight she had a broken wrist. I had been able to use the poultices to fix her up before but this was different. “Maybe you should go to the hospital? This looks like a bad break.” I suggested. “No. I can’t. They’ll ask too many questions.” “What do you want me to do?” “Fix it, with those herbs and things.” She gestured at the pots over the sink. I smiled, “They can’t fix everything you know.” She looked up at me from the chair, “Please. I can’t go to the hospital, I have my reasons so do what you can.” She looked desperate, so I agreed. “OK, but you mustn’t tell anyone how I did this.” I hesitated, I was going to have to trust her with my deepest secret. “It will hurt but I need to set the bone before I heal it. Otherwise it won’t heal true.” “Just do it, OK?” I braced her wrist before I twisted it back into place. She screamed with the pain but she didn’t faint. I wish she had, it might have made what I had to do easier. I made up a tisane for the pain. I also added a mild sedative in the hope that she would sleep through the next part. “Now just relax, this is going to take some time and it won’t work if you don’t relax.” She nodded and drank the tisane. It had been such a long time since I used my magics that I was feeling a little nervous, but as mother had always said, there is no place for hesitation in magicking. I drew in my will and visualised the bones in her arm, I touched her wrist and began to feel along the break, willing it to heal. I saw the bones knit together and a small glow of heat passed over the arm. Magic of this kind is very wearing on the witch. It takes a great deal of my own energy and when I finished I was exhausted. Shelly had slept through most of the healing but she did see me begin and when she woke I was lying unconscious at the table. ‘Helen, are you OK?” She shrugged me awake with her broken wrist and only when she realised there was no pain she stopped. “I’m fine.” I said as I lifted my head off the table, “How’s your wrist?” Shelly twisted her arm this way and that, marveling in the freedom. “It’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with it at all. How did you do it?” “Put the kettle on and I’ll tell you.” As Shelly made us some tea I explained that I was a witch. “My mother was a witch and her grandmother before her. It’s a family tradition.” “Wow, it’s so cool.” “You can’t tell anyone. Promise me that you won’t say anything about this.” I was in earnest, she would endanger me if people knew. “‘Course I won’t, but it’s really cool.” She paused, “Can you teach me?” “Well, I suppose I can teach you about the herbs and things but the healing I just did? That’s different. This skill comes from inside, it’s not something you learn.” “I’d still like to try.” Shelly became a proficient student. She was a natural gardener. I think she surprised herself. We would spend long hours in the garden and it became a place of serenity and calm. Other people from the flats started to come down and watch, but I didn’t encourage them to help. This was my place and I wasn’t going to share it. Everything was going really well. I had finally found a place for myself. Somewhere I could call home. I never saw it coming. Shelly had stopped seeing Davy about three weeks ago. I think I was partially to blame. She was spending more time with me and as the planting and harvesting of herbs and plants are strictly regulated by the seasons we had been very busy. She was a much calmer person and didn’t go out as much. Davy had called round a few times after she had told him it was over, but between us both we were able to get him to leave peacefully. One night Shelly was working late when Davy arrived. He was drunk and wouldn’t believe that she wasn’t here, he forced his way passed me and refused to leave. I tried, but he just sat down in the living room, put his feet up and started flicking through the TV channels. “Please, Davy, please go. I’ll tell Shelly you called.” “No. I think maybe we should talk. You’ve filled her head with daft ideas and now she won’t play with me.” “No. I haven’t” He stood up sharply, “Yes you have. She’s no fun now. All she wants to do is talk about plants. Have you given her something? One of those strange concoctions you brew in your kitchen, maybe? Hmm, maybe you wanted Shelly all to yourself and then put a spell on her. She told me that you think you’re a witch.” I gulped so hard it hurt, Shelly had told him. “Don’t be ridiculous, there’s no such thing as witches.” “Well, I think maybe there is. I’ve seen Shelly, I’ve seen the way you healed her good. Sometimes she even looked better than before I hit her.” He hit her, but Shelly always told me that she was in scraps with other girls. Goddess I was dumb. “It was only some old herbal remedies. Things my mother taught me. You’ve seen me brew the tisanes in the kitchen. There’s no magic in them.” “You are such a bad liar,” he leant over and stroked my cheek, “you blush when you lie. It’s cute. Besides I know you’re a witch. You healed Shelly’s wrist.” I knew then that I made a grave mistake curing Shelly but at the time I did not have a choice. “Do you think you can fix me?” Pulling back slightly, I asked, “Why? What’s broken?” “Nothing, but it might be good to have a friendly neighbourhood witch to hand if I did need help some time, now wouldn’t it?” “If you need it, I’ll help.” “That’s good to know. Now don’t forget to tell Shelly I called.” When Davy left the air felt so much fresher. I was in deep trouble and I didn’t know how I was going to fix this mess. Shelly came back a few hours later. I was still sitting on the sofa and the place was in darkness. “He knows Shelly. He knows my secret.” I said. “I didn’t tell him, I promise.” She sank down on the sofa beside me. “I know, but he got me to agree to fix him if he gets hurt. He’s going to go out of his way now to get hurt. He’ll take more risks now.” “No, he won’t. He’s not stupid but he might be a bit more aggressive. I know that he’s been having some trouble with the boys. He’s been dealing without their permission and they’re not happy about it.” Shelly said “That just means that he will definitely get hurt, so badly that I won’t be able to heal him, not without recourse to magic.” I replied. This was getting worse. “Maybe, but we don’t have much choice.” We did not see Davy for a few weeks and I suppose that I persuaded myself that nothing would come of it until one night I came home. The word ‘witch’ had been painted on my door. The lock had been broken and when I went inside all of my herbs had been strewn about and every jar and pot had been broken. Shelly was there and she was crying. “He wouldn’t listen to me when I said that I couldn’t help him. He was so angry that he began wrecking the place. He’d been beaten up and I think his arm was broke.” She sobbed. “Hush, it’s OK.” I sank down on the sofa beside her. We clung to each other and cried with the shock. “He said he would tell everyone that you were a witch and that you were hexing them.” “Why would he do that? Oh, goddess, the garden.” I exclaimed. We ran down the stairs and out into the garden. It was ruined, every plant had been pulled up and other people from the building were standing among the ruins. “A witch, you’re a witch.” “We don’t want a witch living here.” They were all shouting at me; some of them even threw the dying plants at us. We fled back to the flat. “What are we going to do?” Asked Shelly. “I don’t know, but we can’t stay here.” I sat down on the sofa. “I knew that coming into the city was a bad idea. People here are too intolerant.” “They just don’t understand.” Said Shelly. “They don’t want to understand. You heard them, they don’t want me here.” “This is all Davy’s doing.” “I know but it doesn’t matter. I need to move away. Davy can’t get me if I move away.” “Where will you go?” “Somewhere small, that isn’t intolerant like here.” “I’ll come with you.” “No, I’ve brought you enough trouble.” “You haven’t, you’ve been a good friend and I won’t desert now.” Said Shelly. “We’re in this together.” I sighed as I looked at her earnest face. i had done her no favours by teaching her the craft and now she would be persecuted too. “OK, but we have to go now. How much money do you have?” We made hurried plans while we packed a few belongings. My mother’s Book of Shadows was intact but Davy had got to mine and destroyed it. I had an old car and when I ran down with our belongings Davy was waiting. “Where are you going bitch? We have some unfinished business.” He grabbed me by the hair and I dropped the box I was carrying. “Davy, please let go you’re hurting me.” I tried to break free but he wouldn’t let go. “No, I don’t think so. You turned Shelly against me so now I’m gonna return the favour. Boys.” He shouted. He pulled me in front of the car where I could several shadowy figures. They were wearing balaclavas and one of them carried a rope. “You know what they do to witches, don’t you? Well, in case you forgot. They burn them.” He said while two other men tied my hands and covered my mouth with duct tape. “One of you fellas run upstairs and fetch Shelly. Her an’ me need to have another little chat. Now where were we. Oh, yeah,” he gave a big grin that I could see in the late evening sun, “burning a witch, and what do you know, there’s a bonfire ready an waitin’.” He pointed down to the bottom of the road where the large eleventh night bonfire topped the houses. Dear goddess he couldn’t be serious, he wasn’t really going to burn me in that. Surely someone would see, someone would stop him. No one did. The effigy of the pope on top of the bonfire was real. I was inside the heavily shrouded figure. It was unreal, I was suffering the fate of so many of my ancestors. How could this be happening. I could feel the heat, surely they would not go through with this. Someone would rescue me, choking on the smoke and fumes of the burning tyres I screamed. No one came, no one saved me. I died that night, cursing Davy and all those men. My dying screams mingling with the screams and cheers of the watchers. |