The Delinquent vs. The Boot Camp

I’m sixteen and in some trouble
They say I’ve a real bad ‘tude
I don’t know what they’re talking about
‘Cause yo man, I’m one cool dude.

I’m headed down to boot camp
My soul needs some adjustment
People say I’m bad and mean
But me, I say, well, fuck it.

They’ll drag me kickin' and screamin'
‘Cause I really don’t want to go;
Crazy people come and hang at this place
But I’ll tell ya for me it ain’t so.

I’ll sit through a counseling session
But my mind won’t pay attention;
They’ll all talk some shit, and give up some lip
But I’ll be thinking defection.

The doc will ask some me questions
And wonder if I have a heart;
I’ll pretend to be deep
        With things I don’t mean
And outwit the doc—hey, I’m smart.

That night I’ll escape through a window
Meet my buddies and go ‘bout with my plans;
They’ll look for me here
         And look for me there
But I’ll be gone in a hot-wired van.

I’ll go and rob the liquor store
And I’ll kill the guy at the counter
Sirens will sound, there’s blood all around--
I admit, it'll be a fucked-up encounter.

Later the police will catch me
Even though I'd've run as fast as I could
I’ll be headed to jail for the crime I committed--
Maybe boot camp woulda done me some good.