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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1824641-Derranged-Miss-Muffet
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by Raven Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Poetry · Dark · #1824641
poem fairytale funny morbid
Derranged Little Miss Muffet :

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet Eating her curds and whey with dread,
She scratched her head for it was blood pudding instead.
She sampled a bite,
Not once but twice.
Thought to herself OH how nice.
Along came the widow intentions to bite Muffet's rump,
Instead was left with eight small stumps.
The spider you see was the queens horsemen,
And Muffet drained all of them.
Miss Muffet desired more pudding that eve,
Soon there after bled out her brother Steve.
She giggled and snickered with such delight,
Blood pudding for her just tasted so right.
She walked in the forest and met Little Red,
Quickly chopping off Little Red's head.
She came to a wall with a rather large egg,
Miss Muffet frowned egg's don't need legs.
She lobbed them off sucking the blood straight off the bone,
Giggled and laughed as she headed toward home.
Along her way she met Hanzle and sibling Gretal,
Oh me! Oh my! they'll make a large pudding inside my kettle.
She smiled then thought as she saw the Muffin man,
He wanted to steal her muffin from her was his plan.
Then it occurred in her blood thirsty rage,
I'll take that Muffin seller and keep his diabetic ass in a cage.
I'll take a sweet bleed once a day until he's gone,
And who will ever know these fairytales are gone.
Minding my business I sit on my tuffet,
Kill those sweet bloodies and just say F*CK IT.
Im ignored by all for my lust of blood that grew,
Next I think I'll take a taste of that old woman in the shoe!
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