Bingo Escapee

A parent should be able to trust their children, especially as they get older. Not my children. Those filthy brats decided to stick me in an undesirable nursing home. I should have beaten those damned kids more, when they were younger. They probably wouldn’t have put me in this stupid home, where the CNA’s don’t give a rat’s ass about the elderly. They are here to make sure we take our pills on time, and help up “move on” with our lives. Yea, right. What they’re thinking about is the day we’ll croak, so they won’t have to take care of our grumpy asses anymore.

A loud obnoxious knock, pulls me out of my thoughts. “What the hell do you want?” Those people have no respect of privacy when it comes to my room. At least they knocked this time. I was expecting the same old hag to force my pills down my throat, but this time, it was a younger one. Fresh meat. I’m definitely going to give her a hard time.

“Ms. Nichols, it’s time for your morning pills.” She walks over the counter, and gathers a glass of water. I’ve never liked water. You’d think they would know that, from how many times I spit it out. There is no taste to it. I’m an adventurous one; I like a little flavor to my drinks. Mhmm…strawberry lemonade sounds great. The sweetness makes my mouth water.

“I don’t want my damn pills. They only make me feel worse.”

The CNA brings the glass of water over to me, with the pills in a little plastic cup.

“Please, Ms. Nichols, take your medicine.”

I shake my head at her, and throw the cup of water back at her. “I told you, I don’t want my pills! They always leave an awful after taste in my mouth. Why don’t you take them?”

The damn youngin gives me a look of shock. She has to be new. A lot of the kids here are used to my stubbornness. She takes the pill cup and glass of water and places them on the bedside table. “I’ll come back in a little bit to check up on you.”

“Shut my door all the way.”

She leaves my room quickly, and shuts the door half-assed. I asked her to close it all the way! It’s not like it was that difficult of a task. I stand up awkwardly, quickly grabbing my cane so that I don’t fall over like the rest of these old coots. I didn’t want to use this stupid thing, but it made it easier to hit someone when I couldn’t do it myself. I slam the door shut, and shuffle back to my comfy chair. This home was good for nothing, but they sure did have some great chairs. I feel tired after my walk to the door and back. I mean, that was a lot of exercise for someone like me. I close my eyes and fall asleep. I wish my little nap would have lasted longer, but no. Someone had to interrupt it by coming in only an hour after I fell asleep. The people here never have any respect for the elderly. What’s even ruder, they didn’t even knock. They just barge right on in.

“Ms. Nichols, you have visitors.”

“You have got to be kidding me! I was right in the middle of my nap. Tell them I don’t wanna see them.” I cross my arms over my chest and close my eyes again.

“But, Ms. Nichols, it’s your children.”

“I don’t wanna see them. How many times do I have to tell you?” I scoff at the CNA who disturbed my sleep.

“Mom, quit being so rude. He didn’t do anything to you.” My oldest daughter, Joann said.

“Not yet, he didn’t. I thought I said not to let them in!”

“What’s the matter Mommy? You don’t love us?” The middle daughter, Tina, answers like a young child. She always talks like that. It’s about time she grew up.

I notice, for the first time, what Joann is wearing. It is a long dress with a pretty pattern on it…except her ankles are showing. “Joann, why are you wearing that prostitute dress?”

She turns to look at me with her mouth hanging open. It’s wide enough that bugs to get in there. That’s disgusting. “Joann, close that yap. Just about anything could fit in that mouth of yours. Should use it to get you a husband.”

I could hear Tina snickering in the corner of the room.

“Mom, I don’t want another husband. The last one was—“

“The last one is a dumbass.” I interrupt her. I’m allowed to because I have the authority to. I am their mother after all.

Joann nods her head in agreement. “Well, yes he is.”

“If anything, he is much worse than a dumbass.” Tina chimes in

“Ma, that’s not why we came.”

“Then why did you come?” I cross my arms over my chest again. I never like getting visitors. They always come and tell me how the outside world is. I want to be out there, but they decided to stick me in this home.

Joann rolls her eyes at me, and then looks to Tina. “Let’s leave. She’s not going to be any more cooperative.”

“Bye brats.” I mumble as they both walk out the door. Needless to say…they didn’t close the damn door all the way! It’s really not that hard to pull a little bit tighter when leaving. Just let the door click behind, apparently it’s too difficult of a task for the damn kids.

I close my eyes again. I hate it when you’re really tired and then you close your eyes and they water. It just makes me more sleepy than usual. As I begin to drift back to my nap, there was yet another knock at my door.

“Can’t I just take my damn nap?!”

The door is pushed open and the young CNA slides her head in cautiously. If I could smack her and get away with it, I would.

“Ms. Nichols the bus to Bingo is here. Would you like to go?”

My eyes open quickly and I shoot up from my chair as quickly as possible.

“Bingo? “

“Yes, Ms. Nichols, Bingo. I’ll come back in a few minutes to get you.”

I finally reach the small bathroom in my room, and do some hygienic things. I don’t care what I look like, but I guess other people do. That seems ridiculous. No one should be caring about what I look like. I don’t have my ass hanging out of a skirt that is too tight for me, or have my boobs loose. I pull on a new pair of stockings, and the longest skirt I had. I think it really outlines my figure. I grab my lucky frog from the cabinet and stuff into my purse.

I hear shuffling outside the bathroom, but I think nothing of it. If they really needed me, they could wait. I get out of the bathroom and find no one in my room, so I sit back in my chair and wait for the good for nothing CNA to come and get me. Keeping my ears open for the door, I glance at the clock. It’s been almost ten minutes. Her definition of a few minutes must be different from mine. Instead of waiting for her, I reach for my cane and walk out into the hallway. There was no one around, so I go to the front desk.

“Where is the Bingo bus?” I demand.

“That bus left just a few minutes ago.” The receptionist answers politely.

I knock my cane against her desk, and squint my eyes at her like there is no tomorrow. “What do you mean the bus left?” I don’t even wait for her to reply. I stomp my way out the front door and take a taxi that was parked outside. Someone must have been using it to visit, but they shouldn’t be leaving their things around for others to take. Finders keepers.

“To the bingo hall. Now”

I didn’t get a single reaction from that taxi driver. All he wanted was his money. Isn’t that what everyone wants now a day; greedy bastards.

He begins to pull out of the nursing homes parking lot. He pulls out right in front of oncoming traffic. This jackass was trying to kill me! I smack him on the back of the head with my hand. “You better watch where you’re going, you idiot.”

He mumbles something under his breath. I think that is so rude. If you are going to say something, say it loud enough for others to hear or don’t say it at all.

“You just ran that red light! Do you know how to drive?!”

“Yes, ma’am”

“Show me your driver’s license!”

“I can’t do that right now. I’m driving.” He says nonchalantly.

“Turn here!” I smack the back of his head again.

“Ma’am! Stop smacking in the back of the head or I’m going to smack back! Just relax, I can turn up here.”

I stare at him with my mouth open. You never talk to someone like that; it’s just rude. “That’s not the point, you idiot. Now I have to pay extra, because you missed the turn!”

I lean back against the disgusting seats and cross my arms over my chest. “Just pull over here”

“Ma’am, I can’t do that.”

“I said pull over here! I want to get out of this death trap!”

The driver swerves like a maniac and parks on the side of the street. The wrong side, might I add. I open the door as fast as I could, to get away from his car. He starts to scream out passenger window, but I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying. If he is going to be rude to me, then I will be rude right back. As I begin walking down the sidewalk, I realize I have absolutely no idea where I am. None of the roads look familiar. This is great! I can start another life. I can finally get rid of those pesky CNA’s! First I need to get my bingo on.