My views on life, moments in time, death and God. |
Actually I appreciate the complexity of my life and the storms that come with it. Coming to grips with life and all its problems has made me a stronger better person. Some of us handle stress and problems of life differently, in my short 50 years it has been piled up on me, finding my way to the top has been a challenge and not one that I wasn’t up to. Death, a lot of death, divorce 3 to be exact, sickness, depression, but a lot of blood sweat and tears had to be summed up, to get me through the storms of life. Regardless of my circumstances, there was only one that could be counted on, God. He listened when no one else would; he calmed me when no one else could. When you think you have made it through and it is going to get better, a lot of things happen all at once. Last week was really hard for me, my only son told me he was going to the Marines, my Mother was in the hospital, and my daughter wrecked her car. Okay you may be thinking what is so bad about this, they are normal every day things that happen to a lot of people, these things happened in a 20 minute span while I was at work. Said a simple prayer to get through the day, went home to talk to my son, he has been looking for a job for 3 years, actually looking and unable to find one, he does work for a temp service maybe to work one or two days a month. My son has LD learning disabled, he was born with the cord wrapped around his neck and the doctors didn’t expect him to live, and he did. It took him along time to learn to talk, but he did, school was a challenge for him, but he graduated. In to this cruel world he was sent. And now he is going to be a Marine. Life is a test of endurance, life has struggles, and life has suffering. Basically it is up to us and only us, to get help ourselves, and okay we have friends with points of views. But they can’t live your life, because they are struggling with their own. Actually what is sad, is there are new storms on the horizon every day. Thunder storms that we will have a hard time with, such as death, depression, and sickness, not everyone will survive but most of us will be put to the test of life. Most of these traumas in life give no warning, to help us prepare, going along smooth, happy, life is great then boom, the aftermath, takes us for a ride, we have to be strong enough to survive. Maybe you’re wondering where God is at these moments in your life, when all the troubles are dumped on you all at once. He is there, my grandma used to tell me, he doesn’t close the window without opening a door first. He is there; He listens when you talk to him, and tells you it is time to live. You may find it hard to believe, Death is all around us, and it is inevitable in our lifetime, accepting Death is so very hard. But people live their lives as if they never die, accepting death is hard. Dying is also hard. Nature teaches us everything we should know, the animals in my life, the ones that I have loved without question, and the ones that were sick. Knowing each life has a beginning and an ending, and yes, my heart was torn out, and threw all over the place, but accepting it, had to be. People that were more than dear, ex-husband, husbands, my dearest uncle dying at a very young age, family took me some time to get over. Remembering the day starts and ends with a sunrise and sunset, the shadows also gather, the day is crossed off, never to come or go again. The seasons come and go, the years pass by quickly, and we grow older, and one day I will die. We have to have faith in times that are above us, we have to cling to the certainty of the life to come in heaven, and we have to look forward to the reunion with our loved ones, because our days on this earth are numbered. We are only here for a moment, and we vanish, but we have to survive, it while we are here. |