S.A.D.

I looked up at the brightly lit moon, it was huge in the clear night sky. I was lost in a gaze of endless wonder.

The cracking of the swing as it moved gently in the cool night air distracted me for a moment.

Why couldn’t I just stay suspended in that place of wonderment? I questioned as I settled back and watched the stars.

I could feel the familiar change closing in on me, I tried to resist it but it would always win in the end.

I started to sing to myself “If I’m happy and I know it clap my hands”. With a deep sigh I thought, what’s the use.

The air became colder and the days darker. I felt as dark inside as it was outside. The tears would come for what seemed like no reason.

I would struggle with getting out of bed in the morning. I would seek every ray of sunlight with desperation but then I would just sink deeper in my own darkness.

My friends and family would tell me to snap out of it and believe me I tried.

My only hope was to stay focused on the light of my spirit and stay close to the giver of that light, Jesus.

I didn’t want to isolate or withdraw but every time I thought about motivation I would just retreat within myself. I kept reminding myself to hang on because this too shall pass just like it had so many times before. I was afraid I would be caught in it’s grip and it would never let go.

Exhausted and worn the days start to get longer and I would feel the gloom start to lift.

Once the season had passed, I knew I made it through. Like so many others who struggle with S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) I take one day, sometimes one minute at a time. Even in the depths of my despair my Savior reaches me with the joy that only He can provide.

I looked up at the brightly lit sun, it was huge in the clear blue sky. The clouds were soft and random, I was lost in a gaze of endless wonder.

The cracking of the swing as it moved gently in the warm morning air distracted me for a moment.

Life couldn’t be better!