Forgiven

“She’s there again...” Guardian announces to Amaranth, concern flowing from his emotions. Amaranth sighs and looks down at the girl, she is kneeled down in her bathroom, no one is home and she has locked her door. A young angel named Zekeial wonders up next to Amaranth and looks down on the troubled girl. He cocks his head to the side and tugs softly on the great, divine mans’ white, long robe “What’s wrong with her, Father?” Amaranth places his hand on Zekeials’ head, ruffling and stroking his hair. “She suffers from a disease.”
“What disease?”
“It has no name-” Amaranth said looking down on the small, 6 year-old child. “-But it causes tremendous pain and agony. It can be quite common among girls. Though most are capable of coping, her body is different. She has fallen to hard and cannot get back up.”
Zekeial looks down at the crying girl once more, she’s now in the shower, his heart sinks and turns to stone. He now begins to feel her pain. “F-Father..-”He gulps softly trying to clear the lump in his throat, a feeling he never knew before. “Help her, save her...”
Amaranth sighs and shakes his head. “I can’t Zekeial...She has to save herself. I can not intervene with her actions. It’s called free will, something I sometimes regret giving some humans. ”
The young girl is out of the shower now, dripping wet and wrapped in a white, cotton-clouded towel. She trembles staring in the mirror at herself. Her skin so pale, like that of a corpse. Dark circles swarm her eyes, she hasn’t slept in days. Not being able to quite understand this world in which she resides, she cries. Her soft blue-jaded eyes run across her arms, she counts 57 filthy scars that scream of self-mutilation, and desprete battles of depression, drug abuse and suicide. Her tears and make up flow fast and hard, like a black river down her cheeks. Her legs shake and buckle down sending her crashing to the hard to the concrete tile flooring, sobbing and weeping. She trembles kneeling over in a ball and grips her hair in her hands ripping and tugging on it. Her breath is raspy and shaky, her bruised heart pounds hard within her chest. She leans up, barely managing to pull herself to her feet. She stares into the mirror, deep into her own eyes, they softly close. “Mommy…” She whispers quietly as it echoes through her bathroom.
Zekeial looks up at Amaranth and Guardian “What’s she doing now?”
“Yes sir,” Guardian adds quickly. “Is she getting better?”
Amaranth looked at Guardian with soft eyes, shaking his head in sadness. “I’m afraid not...she’s remembering.”
“Remembering  what, Father?”
Amaranth placed his hand on Guardians’ shoulder, he closed his eyes softly. “You see it?” Guardians’ breathe became shaky and he gasped quietly. Zekeial looked at the two, confused on what was happening. The vision soon passed and Guardian looked at Zekeial and gave him a reassuring smile. Though inside him was a raging fire waiting to destroy anything in his path.
“Calm yourself, Guardian. It is not your place to speak...” Amaranth spoke suttley.
“But Lord! How could you let this happen?! How could you do this!”
“I did not create this Guardian! This was not what they were made for!” Amaranths’ voice thundered through the clouds.  Zekeial became frightened and ran behind the clouds, crying softly.
The thunder rolled and calmed and the clouds were soon flooded with the soft cry of Zekeial. Amaranth sighed and seeked out the young angel and held him tight to his chest. “Oh, Zekeial. Please calm your tears, I love you so and did not mean to frighten you.”
The small child trembled in his arms and then looked up. “Amar, please tell me. How did I get here? I want to remember. Let me remember, like the girl. Please Father.” Zekeial begged. The grown, old, mystical man began playing with his hair. “Sleep child. Sleep and dream of your memories.” By the seventh stroke of his hair, Zekeial was fast asleep and dreaming.
His eyes open, he’s in a small, confined, wet and dark place. He can hear a heartbeat and faint voices. There’s one he hears clearly though, a young girls’, her voice sounded like a thousand of heavens’ finest bells sounding their tunes. Her breathe was soft and light.
“The test came back positive, Rhosyn. You’re pregnant.”
Zekeial smiles, he’s in his mothers’ tummy. He’s human again.
He hears footsteps for awhile and begins speaking to his mother, as if he was writing a letter he’d give to her the day of his birth.
“Hi, Mommy.” He starts out. “ I suppose i'm about a month or two now. I’ve never gotten a chance to meet you. Well, I did. I just forgot. I’m sorry for that. I won't forget you this time. I promise.”  He hears a loud thump, like a car door slamming and jumps when he hears his mother burst into a hard, painful, agonizing cry. “Mommy, please don’t worry-” He whimpers “I’m here now, with you and I love you.”
He sits in the silence of his mothers’ tears for minutes that felt like hours, but soon enough her tears dry and she is calm once again.
A few more months go by and Zekeial develops his movements and heartbeat. He can clearly hear conversations his mother has with the world around her. He can sense emotions and feelings, like the love he feels for his mother, and the cold, harsh hate he feels for the Docter. Too Zekeial, he is the devil himself. Luificer in the flesh.
Few weeks pass and his mother is up and ready to head to the clinic. Today is different. She doesn’t embrace her tummy like she used too or play music for Zekeial anymore. Instead, she cries. She cries and cries and cries until the water her eyes are all dried up. “Mommy..?” Zekeial says. “Can you hear me, Mommy?...Mommy, Don’t go see that man today, don’t go to the Docters…I don’t like him, his voice is cold and heavy, and his mouth spills lies out like a river. Mommy I am a baby, I’m your baby. I see, I feel, I laugh and cry, and I love you, Mommy. Don’t believe him...oh, please don’t believe him….Oh and Mommy, one more thing...what’s ‘Abortion’?”
Zekeial waited anxiously for his mothers’ response though knowing he’d never hear it. He sat in the ringing silence of his mothers’ heartbeat, counting each individual pound and entwining its tune with his own for the rest of the trip.
His eyes open quickly drawing him out of his concentration to the thundering voice of the docter. He trembled and kicked inside his mother, doing anything and everything to make sure they both know that he is real. He screamed and yelled and cried for his mother, begging her not to listen to that damn docters’ lies but she could not hear his screams. The room around him became silent with the sound of his mothers pounding heart once more. “M-mommy..?” Zekeial whispers. He waited in patience to hear his mother speak to him again with her soft, angelic voice; just waiting for her to embrace her tummy and promise him that everything will be okay. Suddenly, he felt a sharp, agonizing pain in his lower spine. “Mommy!” He screams “Mommy! Ow! This hurts!” He cries. “Mommy! Help Me! Make it stop! Make the pain stop!” His eyes slowly and quietly close and his little body stops twisting and turning inside his mother. “I-I l-love you mommy..” He whispers softly as his heart slowly stop beating.
“Mommy!!” Zekeial screams sitting up, crying and panting in Amaranths’ arms. Amaranth quickly held him close and tight to his chest. “Shh child.” He coos. “Dry your tears. It was only a memory.”
“But that’s what hurts father. She let me go. She let me get hurt.”
Amaranth stroked the childs’ hair and held him close to his calming heart beat, not knowing what to tell this  young, innocent, forgotten child he sighs.
Zekeial sat up. “May I have some paper father?” God nodded and handed the child paper and a writing utensil. Zekeial sat and wrote:
Dear Mommy,
Remember me? Its Zekeial, your baby. Please don’t worry or fret. I am in good hands now. I’m with Jesus now and my pain has subsided. Though..Jesus did tell me what you did…Mommy..? Why didn’t you want me..?
Zekeial sighed looking over the note he held in his trembling hand and stood over the edge of the clouds. Looking down on the ancient, historical death trap known only as Earth. A world full of hate, envy, pride and lust. Human beings designed to love and cherish life, find themselves attempting to end it daily. Drug abusers scrounging around for dirty, infected needles, paying thousands of stolen dollars just for a fix. Children walk the world alone, and fear slumber and abusive parents. The schools, designed for knowledge and strength are swarmed with cults and gangs. Guns, knives, and drugs confiscated from 13-year olds in middle school. Teenagers pushed to their limits destroying their body and committing suicide. Countries fighting over fuel for cars that do nothing more than abolish the earth itself. Young children seeing the world for what it really is, who want, just one single reason to keep their lung breathing, and pray to God but are seemly deaf to the answers, infected by images on the internet they can’t forget. The fate of the innocent is left in the hands of the demon-like, docters, therapists and politicians. He gently lets go of the letter and watches it float softly down to the world beneath him.
“FATHER!” Guardian yells running up behind the great king of the heavens. “What is it Guardian? I sense your fear. What is wrong?” Amaranth stands, now holding the crying child to him.
“T-The girl…S-She’s” tears start to fill Guardians’ eyes and Amaranths’ face becomes filled with fear and pain.
“She’s…she’s bleeding..”Guardian continues. Amaranth runs to see the girl, Zekeial slowly stumbling behind him. The man looks down on the girl, the mirror she was glaring at herself into is now shattered, broken glass scattered all around the floor. Her hands and wrist bleeding profusely. Her pale skin now almost albino from the blood lose. She sits in the middle of the red ocean, like it’s her domain, shards of glass circling her like sharks swarming for another bite. Pain fills Zekeials heart. “Father!” He yells “Save her!”
“I-I can’t Zekeial..She-”
“Has to save herself! I know!” The enraged child screams at God. “But if you won’t save her, fine! I will!” He jumps from the heavens, falling hard and fast towards the hell they called Earth. Amaranth and Guardian looked down in shock, wondering if they should fly after him. Guardian goes to leap as Zekeial did, but Amaranth placed his large hand on his chest. “No.” He speaks. “Let him go...I cannot fix or change fate. I cannot mess with freewill. But maybe” Amaranth looks down watching the young angel fall towards the world. “Maybe Zekeial can.”