do you know me death

as i delve deep within my lungs to draw my last breath upon this planet. will i be mindfull of the people around my bed?, or will i be already between two worlds, one foot in the stirup, ready for the next adventure...i hope there is a journey, i hope i reach some other shoar, would you be disapointed if there was not. have you lived your life?, truly lived?...why granma did you have to die?did someone come meet you to take you through safely?, or were you alone and scared trying to find your way back? have you flown the univers in your elephant and piggie nightgown and witness supernovas giving birth to stars, or does your spirit reside with your sacred ashes in the cold damb earth forever encased within your urn?...you visitied my mother in her dreams severeal times...why not mine Nini...i miss you too... i miss you alot. i hope you are somewhere out there...the world is too dark a place to just let a light like yours be extinguished from it. will i ever see you again?... do you still see me, are you capable of things like that...sometimes i smell your perfume in the air and feel your around me butit could just be a dream...did i ever know you?, was this all just a dream?...maybe this is purgatory, the in between stage and stage is graduation.our relationships of blood so deep that the bond is not broken even in death?,will we all reunite one day and rejoice or will i pass you someday after this life and not know you...are family ties just means to an end...will you know me...are we meant to know