Line of Crossing.

Line of Crossing.

I love Her.
What an easy word to say!
What a confession, what an easy hard one.

And what hard it’s meaning -
Neither knows the mankind nor the gods.
But still both of them loping for this,
Equally are starving about it.

After four long years, or may be more
Took pen to write, actually I had to.
Cause I only can hide behind the words, they are the shelters.

Poem or verse – what it would be in the end
I don’t know;
Or it could be a prose!!!

I’m sitting in the dark, living within it.
It’s the place where I’m hiding from my own self,
There, oh yes, only there, this pen goes on and on
On the piece of white paper.
What a vigorous love, what a passionate drop of tears.
You all call those drops as tears,
And I say – melting of stones.
Stones of the mysterious believe of “All Goodness”.
Cause we only want to rise and hate to fall
From the cliffs of believes or expectations.
Still we say we love.
What a pity.

I commit sin,
Yes, everyone will brand it as sin.

What does this mean, then?

Love has no price? It only means –
Getting married,
Or remain faithful?
What’s the definition of faithfulness?
Is it the highest success peak of the labor of loving someone?

Am I not a man? Am I not a man with bone and flesh?
I allow emotion to drive me away,
It makes me feel like I’m floating away from all the intellectualities of the rigorous social thoughts.
Why wouldn’t I give up?
I wanna live on the moments,
I live on it,
I value it.

Moment – is the definition of life to me,
Beliefs on moments;
Then why this clash, why this controversies, why this conflicts inside of me?

I love her, I loved few more;
Like autumns come and passes by.
Then do these “few’s” would convert to all Lies?
Everything would be lies?

I don’t know whether whatever
I’m saying, or writing or thinking –
Are right or wrong?
I’m only seeking patience in the deep of world of impatience.

What a mysterious nostalgia
I’m losing, I was loosing
She was afraid of, she was hurt, she was confused
About the “Sin”;
And with all the powers I have left inside of me
Tried to help her, tried to solve the puzzles of those confusions
(though I lose the game by the word “sleep”).

AND that very goddess is weeping tonight?
What would I do for her, what can I do?
Broken heart.
But who got that – me she or the other one?

Seeking shelter to alcohols and to cigarettes.
Seeking shelter to pen and paper
Cause here I’m hanging on the thread of a relation.
But I’ll even rip off that thread if it brings peace to her heart
Would go away from the memories, from the nowhere land.
For her happiness. Only for her.
But will the “happiness” would be her?
I don’t know.

How I would make her understand, how would I make them understand that
I’m only passers of a minute.
How would I make them understand that
Their peace is the only matters to me;
And I’m the one who broke it
(I’ll not repent for that at all).
But it’s also true their happiness is my prayer, my shouts, my screams.

Forgive my sins but don’t forgive me
Forget me but don’t, please don’t forget what still exist in your hearts for each other.
What did I do, what can I do, and what would I do?
I don’t know, I don’t know, I really don’t.

I only know you are her prayer, core of her happiness, you are her communion.
Still will you leave?