Turning 30! New Year's Resolutions 2012

I woke up on the 1st January not happy and pretty depressed.
I am 29, no sign of a career, living at home and not having found my dream job. I still don't know what my dream job is, and this is after 6 years working in various jobs I felt no connection with, and just did for the money or to follow the path that I studied at University. I did Graphic Design at University and wish I hadn't. This career path never materialised for me, not that I expected a bed of roses. But I remember how hard it was, trekking around London with a porfolio, trying to land that first big break. I found myself too sensitive for the design world, having my work criticized at every turn. I worked for free for months on end, in various agencies and swimming in a pool of sharks. While I thought I would love being around other creatives, I found it intimidating and my heart just wasn't in it. Maybe it never was? But I thought I would always end up in a creative job.
I then side-stepped and offered my skills in corporate Graphic Design, Marketing and Publishing. Happily flying around in various contract jobs, it offered limited creativity, better money, and often a good, fun, social life in the City. I soon tired in each contract of churning out the same shit to a company template.
A few years later arguably I sold out or was ready to give up believing I was creative, and did some Admin and Events roles. These were more stable jobs, they didn't seem to expect as much of you in terms of brain power, but were equally as soul-destroying. I left my last job in Events after putting up with the most egotistical bastards I ever knew. I had spent over a year dreaming I was not in an office, but travelling and learning Spanish.
After I left my job last September I moved back home and found another temp office job within a week. I then booked an intensive Spanish course at a language school in Salamanca. It was the best experience of my life, my senses were awash with new experiences, new and interesting people, and my new life in a foreign language was rarely dull. The all-night fiestas were amazing, and I felt like a student again, not the stressed out woman hurtling towards her 30's. After six weeks my time was up and I returned home with a more open-mind, dreaming of more travel and work abroad.
This year my priority is to find more work, enjoyable work!! I have signed up for other courses as part of my career transition. This process involves testing out my ideas on a small and low-risk scale, to see if I like them. The language thing I love and want more of, but I don't fancy teaching English, plus I want decent money to be able to save for my own flat.
Today I booked my Introduction to Holistic Massage, something I always wanted to learn, and felt good about it.
I feel really very sad that I live with my parents at nearly 30, and am not sure how long it will be for, obviously not forever. This way I can save more of my income towards a deposit (and you need a sizeable one in the UK to be able to afford anything). I honestly don't know if I will end up living here or in Spain (I loved it so much), but I will feel better having more of a financial back up.
Going out, shopping, and all night partying still appeals but less so than when I was younger. I just feel more mindful, that I need to get out of this situation and I want my own place! I have rented rooms before but bottom line I want a place to call my own now, sick of sharing!
London is an amazing city full of opportunity, I hope I can find an enjoyable way to earn a living.
I feel depressed and embarrassed when I tell people my living situation, as I worry they think I am lazy, or not independent. The truth is I am very independently minded, and I hate the stigma that comes with living at home at 30 or nearly 30. I guess I am paying the price for spending all my money in my 20's on good times, and now I have nothing to show for it.
This year I will go for everything that the little voice in my head tells me to, as my life is improving when I do that. To trust my intuition. This year I will be sensible with money. I still want travel, adventure and dream of the expat life but it may have to wait a little bit.