Priority Filter

I have been spending a lot of time in reflection; Reflecting on my priorities, and the alignment of my actions to those priorities. I took myself through a blending of several exercises I have read by people I admire.  Taking small bits from what I consider to be rather common sense recommendations, I mapped a way to analyze myself that revealed a picture I found none too pretty.  My priorities sure as heck don’t line up to my actions.  Further surprising, the few people I asked to consider the same analysis returned similar results: priorities and actions did not seem to match. 
However, I have observed others acting in a way that appears to align quite neatly with their priorities.  Rarely do I hear these privileged few bemoan the state of their existence, complaining of the burdens of unwanted activities, choices or people.  What I hear is quite different: quiet sighs of relief, firm answers of “No” and genuine laughter.
So what is their secret?
Visit the library or bookstore and you will find countless tomes on variations of this topic.  You can find volume upon volume of reference material, with still more in the “self-help” pipeline.  Authors cannot seem to satisfy the thirst of parched readers eager to find a way to “balance” it all.  Time management, work-life balance, finding passions, fulfilling destinies, all labels for aligning time to priorities with corresponding reference guides.  So with all this reference material, sets of instructions, guidebooks, work books and inspirational thought, why are there still so many struggling with the concept? 
I was stunned at the lack of alignment of my priorities and my actions.  And then I was stunned that I was stunned.  I consider myself to be a fairly self-aware person these days, and I would have told you I was doing pretty well.  But when I wrote down my priorities then my actions, I found only one place where they marginally overlapped. 
The first thing I did was write a list of all the things, people, principals and activities that I view as priority.  I came up with several then realized I could group them in to a few areas: Spiritual connection, family, my construction business, my coaching business and my health. 
Then I took a look at where I was spending the bulk of my time and it was my bill paying job (not my personal businesses), cleaning house, escaping through reading, and some spiritual work.  Not exactly lining up.  Now what?
The third step in my plan was to look at the specific activities I was spending time on that didn’t align to the priority categories I found.  If an activity didn’t fit in one of my categories, I was dropping it. 
Finally, I decided that I was going to run everything through the priority filter.  When approached about a new task or item, I would discover if it fit in one of my priority categories.  If no, then the answer is no.
I have applied this tool in all areas of my life by now and made some interesting discoveries. In my housecleaning, what I was that an item was usually more in need of a mental heaving than a physical one.  Simply cleaning out a room or organizing file is easier to do for me. 
So I lay this process at your feet in its roughest form.  Perhaps this will be the thing that gets you through to you.  I think I figured out why there are so many runs at this topic in so many formats.  We all need to hear the message in the way we need to hear it at the time that our experience aligns to the words.