Muzzy's advise for a hit movie. |
"God damn $10.50 for a soda and pop corn! Matinee was only $8.50!" Muzzy slumps down into his seat. "Oh, come on! 30 minutes of commercials?! Really? I should have stayed home. Just wait a month for the flick to come out at Red Box." Muzzy munches his pop corn... and growls at the CoCoCoLa add. "Pepsi tastes better!" he shouts at the ducked taped screen. You know your at a bad movie when everything is explained to you. Why do you care? That's a big question. Do you want the hero to win? Or maybe it would be fun to watch him get pulverized. I was rooting for the Joker in Batman Rises. He was just more fun. The Dark or was it stay out of The Dark? It's about fairies .. These fairies looked like tiny Dick Cheneyes. It's so predictable. Don't open that door that's been sealed shut with a warning about.. evil fairies... arg. What makes a scary movie? It needs something believable. Here's a true story. There is a fort in Boston Bay, not Castle Island. And there are signs warning not to stay on the Island after dark. A ghost attacks people at night there. The Coast Guard has been called to rescue dare devils on that Island at night. The Lady in Black is what they call the ghost. She was hanged there by the Union Army for helping her husband to escape. This is all documented. Which is why I'm interested in a recent ghost movie coming out about a Lady in Black in a house on a marsh... I forgot the title. That sounds like a good ghost story. Jennifer Aniston is a really nice lady, but her movies suck. I don't know why she keeps making dull movies. Maybe, she wants to be a teacher. But, movies aren't about teaching there about escaping my miserable life! Geeze! Why should I care about a yuppy girl, who's inseminated by the wrong guy? Let's make Jennifer a stripper, who is also working as call girl and then she get's involved with the mafia white slavers. Hmmmm, now that I'll pay $18.50 for! Poor Jen is slapped around by bad men and made to do awesome 3-D stuff! "I'm not a toy! I'm an erotic entertainer!" Jen shouts defiantly as she dances at a cocain party covered only in chocolate syrup. Jen the movie would make millions. James Bond is .. done. I just don't know how many times I can watch this guy save the world. Come on everybody knows his name. He doesn't even try to wear a disguise. I think it would be fun if 007 was fired because of budget cuts. Britain is a financial wreck! How can they afford this guy? All those gadgets and fancy cars.. and expensive hotels are on the British tax payer's bill? Not gonna happen. James Bond private detective for hire.. That might woyk. I want gratuitous sex and violence! It's just a movie, don't have a fit over some bouncing boobies and exploding cars. Whatever happened to the naked boob shot? Are boobs illegal? Jen may I see your boobies? I promise I wont stock you and keep you as my pet in my van by the river... :) Movies are suppose to be fun! Let's have more nudity! And blow something up! It's just a movie.. relax and enjoy Jenifer Aniston's naked chocolate syrup dance... Why not? Sincerely, Muzzy |