Happy Halloween

For just one night, you dress up and become a creature of the night. You put on an ugly mask and pretend to be something you're not. Just for one night, you get to feel how I feel. Your ignorance blinds you. Every time you look at me, what do you see? I hide behind my mask of happiness, my costume of smiles and laughter. I am Halloween. For just one night, you dress up like me. You hide yourself.
Tell me, how does it feel? Do you find it fun? Do you enjoy acting like something you're not as you socialise? Enjoy it while it lasts, because tomorrow you will be back to your normal self. Tomorrow, you take off your costume, whereas I will merely change masks. On Halloween night, I may be dressed as something gruesome, but to me, I am merely the same person. I look different, but I am still the same.

I walk the lonely streets at night, though they are no longer lonely. People pass me, and I face the demons that so often plague my dreams. They laugh at me and curse me. I stiffen my lip and raise my head high; to prevent myself from slipping into a seemingly endless spiral that I know will only end in blood. These unseen tears and fears must not reach the surface. I turn away and walk towards the shadows, where I belong. The light should not touch my skin; it could expose me for who I really am. I escape it and delve into my safety zone, where nobody can see me. Here I can be myself. Here I can cry until my eyes have nothing left to spill but blood. The loneliness here is both comforting and terrifying. When I am alone, I cannot trust myself. If I cannot trust myself, I can trust no one. Humanity has abandoned me, caused me to be at home in these shadows. How can I possibly venture out into the light when I do not deserve it, when I am unworthy of happiness? I am going underneath the lies, and my own personal masquerade. I have fallen.

Do not help me up; do not reach out for me.

Depression is infectious.


Hollow pumpkins and skeletal manikins decorate the streets, the boarded windows leave no trace of humanity inside the tomb-like houses. Children knock on the doors, selfishly begging for candy they do not deserve. Their innocence was taken from them before they had a chance to enjoy it. The world has changed, it's a much darker place now. The sun has abandoned us, left us here to freeze. You contemplate huddling, but the idea of being intimately close to another is far too frightening. I follow, like the sheep I am, and curl up into a ball. I am blinded by mankind's corrupted emptiness. I can see nothing but the mistakes and the pain. Through the cold black, I can hear others. They scream and cry out in terror and agony. Do they realise now, all the things they have done wrong? Have they fallen, too? The screams go on for eternity, and I silently cry to myself at the destruction around myself.

This is it. This is what you asked for.
You wanted a night, just one night, of horror and fear? You've got it.
Enjoy the rest of your night, and just know that all this fear will be gone in the morning.
For you, at least.

Have a happy Halloween.