The Science of Historical Theology

        "I think we should send a chimp through first." Dr. Peanut said ..
    Dr. Terri Wide smirked at her colleague .. Within the folds of time held
    the secrets to history and perhaps God. It was an experiment in meditation
    and machine. The portal opened a space in time and the subject stepped
    through. To avoid disorientation, the subject was trained in transcendental
    meditation. Doctor Peanut knew a chimp could not find his way back.
    He had a crush on Dr. Wide and her voluptuous figure. But, she had rebuked
    his timid advances.

        "Do you have any intelligence? A chimp would not care to return to
        his cage. You stupid man." She shook her hands at him and hips
        and double D breasts shook as well.

    The portal opened and Dr Wide stepped through. Dr. Peanut could not
    restrain his apprehension and jumped through behind her. The portal vanished.
    "Are you insane?! Someone must be in the lab to reopen the portal!"
    Dr Wide slapped Dr. Peanut across the face. Dr. Peanut let out a wicked
    laugh and tore Dr. Wide's vest off, exposing her full round breasts.
    "I am a prize winning judo fighter!" Dr Wide shouted. But, Dr. Peanut had
    brought his stun gun,  which was forbidden in time travel regulations.
    "You'll alter the time line if any intelligent people find that here!" her plea
    was quickly stunned.

            She fell helpless under the groping fingers of Doctor Peanut.
      The faint sounds of grunting joined with jungle noises about them as
      Dr. Peanut satisfied every fantasy he had with Doctor Terri's limp body.
      "This is Heaven." he whispered. And a large Tyranosaurus Rex swallowed
      him whole. Dr. Wide woke quickly and seized the stun gun, setting it to full
      force. She vaporized the dinosaur .. She ran her hands over her sweaty naked
      body. Doctor Peanut had not left a stitch of clothing on her.

              "You little shit!" she shouted to the hot cambrian jungle.
      "This is amazing. It should be too hot for me to breath, but I'm fine.
      And I have no way to get back." the Doctor muttered and began to search
      for shelter. She found a tall tree; the size of a red wood. It had a hollow in
      its trunk. The sweat dripped off her face as she slowly climbed the vines
      up to the hollow. Carefully, she straddled a large hanging vine and looked
      inside .. A giant python struck out at her. She vaporized it .

                "I'll be drained out soon." she adjusted the gun for solar recharge.
      Inside the hollow were python eggs the size of foot balls. The wood cavern
      was moist and slippery as she ate an egg raw. The yolk slid over her jaw
      and dripped onto her breasts. It would be foolish to make a fire to cook.
      The Doctor thought about insects and ticks and how naked she was.
      How could she survive in this savage land?

                  There was a strange grunting noise approaching her hollow.
      She felt for her stun gun. It was still charging in the sunlight at the opening.
      She peered over the edge. "Neanderthals." she gasped. The ape men were
      climbing the tree quickly. They must have seen her or gotten her scent.
      "They'll tear me apart." Dr Wide whispered and locked her gun for firing.
      The grunting stopped. A rock was tossed in the hollow and then another,
      until rocks were bouncing everywhere about her. "Clever, monkeys." she
      whispered and fired the gun, extending her hand out of the opening and
      pointing downward. The rocks stopped . A hairy ape man lept inside
      from above the entrance and tackled the sweaty blond to the floor.
      The stench of his breath nauseated her. The assault was beastial ..
      She was pinned to the slimy floor as the ape man thrust his hairy body
      onto  her. Soon the hollow was filled with howling Neanderthals.
      All of them took their turn humping the buxsome blond .. She thought she
      would be killed, but she was carried back to the tribe on the back of a large
      neanderthal.

                The Doctor was dropped amongst the females, who gave her
      food and drink. "Well, I think I've solved the missing link." she smirked
      as she sipped her berry juice. One of the ape men walked up to her
      with her gun. He had his finger on the trigger and was pointing it at her.
      She took a deep breath and gently pointed the gun away with her index
      finger. The ape man turned and handed the gun to a tall grey alien creature.
      "You have come far. I am impressed with your ingenuity." the alien
      spoke without moving its mouth.

                She struggled to her feet. Her body was covered in claw marks
        and bites. "I am Doctor Terri Wide of the Institute of Historical Science."
        Her face was battered and some ribs cracked. "Why did you not have
        an escape route?" the alien continued. "My colleague broke protocol and
        followed me, leaving no one to monitor the controls." Doctor Wide coughed
        and fell to her knees. "Unfortunate. We cannot return you to your time.
        It is a violation of our protocol .. You will remain here with this test group.
        They are our science experiment." the alien turned away and communicated
        something to the Neanderthal, who then handed the stun gun to him.

              Doctor wide sat down amongst the females. The females applied sabs
        to her wounds and brushed out her long blond hair with their dark fingers.
        There was a strange buzz .. The portal opened before her. She lept up
        and stumbled over into the lab. Doctor Peanut was operating the controls.
        "What? I saw you get eaten." she panted, stretched out on the floor.
        "This is the test run. What happened to you?" Doctor Peanut cradled 
        Terri in his arms. "Who the Hell is that?!" another Doctor Wide entered the
        lab through a back door. "I think it might be an alternate you." Dr Peanut
        answered timidly as he squeezed one of the naked double D breasts.
        "Oh, God. Just screw me and get it over with." the naked Doctor Wide
        gasped and kissed Doctor Peanut.



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