Holding it in

It was two months before Allison was going to start her junior year of high school. Her mother, Linda, was taking her to the mall to shop for new clothes. Allison was standing by the front door, waiting for her.

“Again, Allison?,” said Linda, who had just come from the basement.

“What?,” said Allison.

“You wet the bed again, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” she said, embarrassed.

Allison has been dealing with bladder problems for years. She’s wet her bed so many times that she eventually started changing her sheets and putting the wet ones into the washing machine at night while her mother slept so she wouldn’t find out. She also constantly has to go to the bathroom, and she doesn’t always make it there in time. She has more than once wet herself in public, and when it would happen at school, she had to call Linda to bring her new clothes.

Linda had just found Allison’s sheets in the washing machine, so she knew what had happened. “This has gone on long enough. I think it’s time you started wearing diapers,” she said.

This wasn’t the first time Linda had suggested that, but Allison knew she was being serious this time. “You just mean for bed, right?,” she said.

“No. I mean all the time.”

That thought scared Allison. “No! Not that! I’m 16,” she said.

“That’s the problem. You shouldn’t still be doing this at your age. You can’t go an hour without going to the bathroom. And when you try to hold it in, you make things worse for yourself. Then I have to tell my boss that I have a ‘family emergency’ just so I can leave work early to help you. This has to stop.”

Allison understood her mother’s point and felt guilty, but she thought this was too much. “But I can’t wear diapers. If anyone found out, especially in school, I’d die. I’d be ‘the diaper girl’ from now on.” Her mother was the only one who knew about her problem and she wanted it to stay that way.

“Then here’s what we’ll do. If you can manage to control your bladder and not go to the bathroom from when we leave the house to when we get back, it’ll show that you’re improving and I won’t get you diapers, at least not yet.”

“Okay. That’s what I’ll do,” she said, unsure if she really could.

“We’ll see. We’ll stay together the whole time though. I wouldn’t want you sneaking off to a bathroom.”

“I won’t.”

“Go one more time and then we’ll leave.”

Allison had been feeling the need to go again, so she did. It would be the last time she’d do that for a while and she’d have to hold it in from this point on or there’d be terrible consequences. Once she was done, she went back to her mother.

They went to their car and drove off. Allison looked down at what she was wearing, a miniskirt. She thought that if she were to wet herself, her mother and anyone else around might notice. She now regretted her clothing choice.
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At the mall, Allison felt the urge to pee again. She set out to avoid thinking about it by focusing on shopping.

They first went to a shoe store. Allison got her mind off her problem for a while as she tried on several pairs, until she saw a woman with a little girl who she assumed was her daughter. The girl was doing the pee pee dance and telling the woman she needed to go to the bathroom. Allison feared she’d find herself in a similar situation sooner or later.

Linda also saw the girl and said to Allison, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” said Allison. She was lying.

“Okay. You got enough shoes?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Let’s go pay for them.”

After buying the shoes, Allison and Linda left the store with shopping bags in their hands. As they walked to another one, they passed the mall fountain. Another reminder for Allison. She needed a distraction, and fast. Then she saw a clothing store nearby that she had wanted to go to.

“Let’s go in there,” she said. So they did.

Allison picked out a bunch of clothes she liked and went to the dressing rooms to try them on. Linda went with her. Allison stood in front of the mirror, looking at herself in the different outfits. She felt better for a while, but after she had put on a few skirts and dresses, she started to imagine how she’d look if she was wearing a diaper underneath them. She’d just have to bend down and she’d be exposed. She wanted to pee again. She crossed her legs in an attempt to control her bladder. Then she changed back into her own clothes.

They bought the clothes and then left. Before they could go anywhere else, Allison’s best friend Marie showed up, drinking soda from a straw.

“Allison,” said Marie.

“Hi,” said Allison.

Linda walked off, but stayed nearby. The friends talked for a while, with Marie drinking and Allison hearing the slurping sounds. It had been over two hours since Allison left her house and she was feeling the need to pee even more.

“Is something wrong?,” said Marie. “You look nervous.”

“No. I’m fine,” said Allison.

The conversation soon ended and Marie left to go to a store. Allison and Linda did the same.

They went to another clothing store, up on the fourth floor. Allison would normally want to shop more, but this time, she hoped that they’d be done after this and then they’d go home. Linda wanted to get something for herself too, so both of them were trying on clothes. Allison finished first.

“Stay where you are. I’ll be done soon,” said Linda.

“I wasn’t going anywhere,” said Allison.

She knew her mother was making sure she didn’t run off to the bathroom while she was changing. They both knew the store had one that was nearby. She had wanted to go there, but that wasn’t going to happen now. She instead stood against a wall as she waited for her mother, trying not to think about peeing. A few minutes later, Linda was done. They bought the clothes and left.

“We’ll go in there and then home,” said Linda. She pointed at an electronics store. “I want to look at the phones they have.”

Allison couldn’t tell her mother that she wanted to go home or else Linda would know just how much she wanted to go to the bathroom, so she stayed quiet and they went into the store.

While Linda looked at phones, Allison put down her shopping bags and decided to text Marie. She was so focused on that, she didn’t hear someone calling her name from behind her. The person touched her shoulder, causing her to jump. She worried that might have caused her to wet herself a bit. She turned around and saw Jason, a guy from her school that she had a crush on.

“I’m sorry. I was trying to get your attention,” he said.

“It’s okay,” said Allison, who picked up her bags to cover herself in case she had peed.

“You waiting for someone?”

“My mom.”

“Oh. I saw you over here, so I just wanted to say hi. I have to go meet my brother. See you at school.”

“Bye.”

He left, and Allison, with her bags still covering her, put her hand up her skirt and checked her panties. They were dry. Linda finished and they were finally going home.

They took the elevator. Allison worried that it would get stuck while they were in it. It didn’t, but five people got in on the way down to the first floor, slowing her down as she tried to get to the car.

They got to the first floor and then they walked past the fountain again on their way to the exit.

“I’m going to make it,” Allison told herself in her head.

They made it to the car and drove onto the highway.
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Things were working out for Allison. With home minutes away, she was sure she’d be able to hold it in till then, and she wouldn’t have to wear diapers.

Then the cars started to slow down. “What’s going on?,” said Allison.

“I don’t know,” said Linda.

All the cars stopped. They were now stuck in traffic.

“No no no! Not now!,” thought Allison.
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Fifteen minutes later, they had only moved a few feet. The exit they were getting off at was about a mile away.

Allison had lasted as long as she could. Trying to not think about it was no longer working. She couldn’t sit still in her seat. She felt like she was about to burst. She couldn’t hold it in anymore. She had to pee, and she had to do it now. Without saying anything to her mother, she got out of the car and went into the woods. Linda said nothing. She knew what her daughter was going to do. Allison went behind a bush, looked around to make sure no one was watching her, and then squatted down to pee.

Once she was done, she returned to the car. She was too embarrassed to speak and Linda didn’t say anything either. A few minutes later, the traffic cleared up and the cars moved again. Allison couldn’t believe it. If she had waited a little longer, she might have made it home. They soon reached their exit. They got off the highway, but then Linda made a left turn. They had to make a right to get to their house.

“I thought we were going home,” said Allison.

“We were,” said Linda. “But now I need to make one more stop. I have to go get you diapers.”

“NO!”

“Yes.”

“Please. I lasted longer this time. If it wasn’t for the traffic...”

“Even without that happening, you were desperate to go for most of the time we’ve been out. I could tell.”

“Give me another chance.”

“You’ve had plenty already. This is what you’re going to do now.”

Allison sat quietly, defeated. She knew there was no way to change her mother’s mind. She was going to wear diapers, and her life would never be the same.

TO BE CONTINUED in "The Diaper Girl" (http://www.writing.com/main/interact/item_id/1846550-The-Diaper-Girl)