I Wonder. . .

After hours of web surfing on photography and its related disciplines, my tired eyes rolled over to the clock - it was dinner time. The time made me hungrier. So, the dilemma - to cook or to order in some "fast food", to serve the hunger right away. The answer was quick and simple in my mind; "Ready-to-Eat" packaged foods, which, though it involved minimal cooking, would mean a slightest sense of gratification. Thus, i was headed to the nearby store to purchase the edibles.

As i stepped out of the store, i took notice of a young man in his early thirties. I might add that he looked poor. Our eyes locked for an instant and he headed towards me. He felt like a desperately hungry beast, trying to hunt down its prey. He seemed distressed and so was his wife, who was rested on the sidewalk holding their baby. Their baggage was strewn about on the pavement. The man started grieving to me about how he had come in from a different state, on a job offer, which he did not land and how he laid victim to a pickpocket. Though inattentive, I was patient enough to hear the couple out; with my train of thoughts steering in a different direction altogether, trying to assess the situation, trying to set the pieces right on the logic map, from my standpoint.

I was now certain that the man needed a considerable amount of money to get back to his hometown. I reach into my wallet and pull out a couple of bucks and hand it over to him. The money wasn't much, but was ample to buy a meal for two, for the night. He carefully clenches the money in his fist. Apropos, his curious desperate eyes must've caught a glimpse of the couple of hundred bills stacked in my wallet; solely for the purpose of paying the dues. In other words, i was barely making a living and was headed to the 'penniless town' in the coming days.

He still seemed eager to persuade me into giving him more money. He goes on : "Sir, I've approached several people for help tonight, and, they all seem to think we are beggars. But we're not. We're just ordinary people in bizarre circumstances". I leer at the couple and in a moment bring about a complying look on my face. Just then he pulls out his identification card, hands it to me and the couple try to assure me that, the money, was only being borrowed against the card as the liability, and that it would be rightfully returned after they've reached home safe. I take a quick look at the blurry, faded ID card, and my mind was yet again thrown into this roller-coasting spiral of thoughts -

"He is poor so could he pay back the money..?! If so.. How..?! He doesn't seem to have a bank account.. Or an online account.. He doesn't know my name.. or my address.. So, how would he pay me back..?! Is he gonna come back again and pay me..?! Is he the righteous kind..?! Or.. is he just an amazing con artist at work..?! The photo on the ID isn't clear.. The card could be a fake.. Or.. even if it is the real deal he could always make a new card.. !" I was left perplexed in my own thoughts.

Yes, indeed, naive thoughts. So, I hand over the card back to him and i take one final look at the scenario - the man, the wife and the baby. I make up my mind, reach into my wallet the second time now, pull out a hundred bill and give it to him. I was amazed at how his face didn't express the slightest sense of gratitude, which has left me wondering - "Even if he were a con artist, I've given him the satisfaction of having swindled me. If he isn't, I've contributed with more than half the money's worth to help them get back home. I played it such that, either way, he is a happy man". And now, though I'm glad of my generous gesture, I'm left in a cocktail of feelings - bewildered and stupefied ! Maybe someday I'll find the answers. Sooner or later I'll wise up or I'll grow into the skeptical being. Whatever happens, life goes on.

Oh yes, the money - Money can always be earned ; easy and sometimes hard !

PEACE. . .