On A Description in Astronomical Terms

It was around the time my mom found one
more hospital bed and decided that this one
would be the one for batting at nurses and tearing
IVs from wherever they inserted.

Around the time I had pretty much quit drinking save
for the odd weeknight writing, deferred for the
hopefully rosy new year.

Around the time I was found sucking cold midnight air
waiting on yet another rejection that I had
thought might actually pan out
-for whatever reason-

Around the time my brother got his wife pregant
cursing a life from the start; filling me with
visions of the son of a famous Beat writer.

Around the time my friends were getting married and
I'd be the only one sans date so that
invitations would eventually stop coming.

Around the time I thought it best to simply close
up shop and curl up around my heart to protect
whatever was left. Business weak; trouble
keeping head above water.

Around that time,
I didn't even notice until it was caught in my throat:
I am struggling.