5eX - A Revenge Story

Prologue

DEAR DIARY

It’s been 72 hours since I found out that Ben was seeing three other girls and didn’t have any intention of ever being in a relationship with me.

It’s been 5 hours since I sat in bed with 45 Valiums spread across the lap of my blue sundress, for which I paid $180.

It’s been 50 minutes since I decided to flush 43 of those Valiums in the toilet and start writing instead.

I thought that winning the lottery was my ticket to happiness. I thought that cashing in that ticket for $1 million ($650,000 after taxes) and buying my very first pair of $2,000 Louboutins would cure my heartache.

But the money’s only made me sadder and more frustrated!

I’ve had 5 guys in my life in the past 3 years, one after the other, and each one brought me deeper and deeper into a place where I really don’t want to be.

First there was Jovan. He was very exciting and fun to be around. He was definitely a bad boy, which turned me on. He was so into me—or so I thought. He treated me very nice at first, but that soon changed. Truth was he was really just looking for someone or something to control. Someone he could make feel like shit and join him in his misery. Since I was always playing the role of a good girl or Captain Save a Loser, I was the perfect candidate. I put up with his antics for close to a year. Besides his on and off abuse I soon learned that he got someone else pregnant.

Then Ricardo showed me what a real narcissist is. On dates, all he could talk about was himself. He obviously kept me around just to have someone to sleep with until his perfect Barbie doll finally came around. I know I’m a good-looking girl, but a Barbie doll with fake boobs and a 12-inch waist I am not. But he was so good-looking and suave that I played along until he ultimately dumped me for someone that he probably thought looked better than me.

Then there was Evan. He was the first clean cut, so-called All-American guy I’ve ever dated.  He was cool to hang around but very nonchalant. It could be annoying at times. After five fun dates in the city, he just stopped calling me… conveniently after I finally decided to have sex with him at his apartment. He got what he wanted and bounced.

Keith was a charmer and a sex-addict. He could charm the pants off of just about any girl he wanted—literally. He was ugly and short by most women’s standards, but his money, charm and constant compliments made up for his short-comings and got him what he wanted above all else—sex. He came in handy right after my self-esteem took a major blow from being “pumped and dumped” by Evan. But a woman can only take so much of being constantly harassed for sexual favors.

Finally there was Ben. He was a high-powered lawyer in Manhattan. He sure seemed like a good guy on the surface. He was gainfully employed, very attentive and a great dresser, but for some reason I was the only one reaching out. Seriously, I don’t think he ever initiated a call or text the whole time I knew him. Maybe that was because he had about three other girlfriends on the side—he could afford to be unavailable and aloof. When I became too much of a bother to him, bugging him about getting rid of the other girls, he just stopped returning my messages.

Yup that’s the last three years of my life, populated by five assholes.

Even though they treated me like crap, I still hold onto these ridiculous thoughts of how one day they’ll all call me and apologize, wondering how they let such a good girl like me slip through their fingers….

Well you know what? I’m tired of sitting on pins and needles, waiting for the day that I finally get justice for the way these creeps treated me. Or when they finally realize what they missed out on, calling to beg me for my forgiveness.

I get it. It’s never gonna happen!!! Not only are they never going to apologize and make it right, they’re just going to continue to treat other women like disposable hand tissues for as long as they can pull it off! Where do they get the right?

Surely if they knew I had over 600K sitting in the bank now they’d probably want to try to “work things out.” They’re not getting a dime of my cash, especially not broke ass Jovan!

But how can I continue to allow them to get away with what they did to me, knowing what I know? And how many women before me had the chance to warn other women like me but didn’t? How many future broken hearts will they leave behind like a trail of tears?

That was the final thought running through my head just as I was about to toss 45 Valiums down my throat and end it all. At first I resisted the feeling of falling into life’s miserable abyss, but I’ve decided to stretch my arms out wide, throw my head back and allow myself to fall gracefully instead… but I’m bringing some folks with me for this here swan-dive.

Yes, there’s a much much better way to go about this than to hurt MYSELF. I’m going to hurt THEM. It’s time I get some good old-fashioned payback. I am going to unleash some hardcore Karma on each of their asses.

Mark my words: all of those coddled, entitled, selfish, one-tracked mind mama’s boys will PAY!

Love,

Michelle



Chapter 1 – Jovan (The Bad Boy)

One day he was hot, the next he was cold. Jovan made fucking with my head and my heart into some type of a sport. He was the champion, hands down.

But he’s definitely not prepared for the second round knockout I’m about to deliver to his ass, straight out of the corner...

Jovan was already half drunk from the time he stepped into his favorite neighborhood bar. On Thursdays and Sundays they had strippers, but on this particular night, a Monday, it was just $2 Coors Lights and shots of Hennessey until 10pm.

As soon as he sat down he slapped down a $5 bill on the bar and demanded, “Coors & a Henny.”

The bartender, Anna, just rolled her eyes and went to pull out a shot glass. She put it down in front of him and filled it to the brim with his dark liquor of choice. Seconds later there was a cold bottle of Coors light in front of him as well with blue mountains across the front indicating that it was icy cold.

She grabbed for the $5 bill and Jovan put his own hand on top of hers.

“I want my change.”

“Seriously?” Anna responded and looked at him incredulously. She jerked her hand back, clutching the bill, and cashed him out. She laid his single dollar down on the bar patronizingly.

“Thank you. Maybe if you do good you’ll get this back later,” Jovan said with a smirk.

Asshole, she mumbled under the breath.

He took the shot of Hennessy to the head and then reached for the Coors. But before he had a chance to take a sip, his attention was distracted by a woman walking into the bar. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

The lady looked like she should have been on tour with a superstar instead of in a dive bar in Brooklyn. She had on a tight white dress which contrasted with her dark skin. It hugged every curve (and she had plenty to cover), but still looked modest, classy and feminine. She had smooth skin and wore her hair in a simple, natural bob that fell around her face. Her nails were well-manicured with French tips. Jovan was intrigued—even more when she sat just two seats away from him and flashed him a Hollywood smile.

Jovan immediately moved his seat and sidled up next to her.

“Can I buy you a drink…” he asked, pausing at the end to get her name.

“Amanda. Nice to meet you,” she said with a sweet smile and extended her hand for a shake.

Jovan was a little taken aback by her gesture. Shaking hands—now that’s classy, he thought. He shook her hand in response.

“And yes. A dry martini please, on him,” Amanda called out the bartender.

“Yea, on me,” Jovan repeated.

Amanda smiled again. “I already know your next question… ‘what’s a girl like you doing in a bar like this?’”

Jovan smiled back and took a long swig of his beer. “So.”

“Well, I was supposed to meet my flake of a girlfriend down on Fulton for a concert,” she explained. “But she had baby daddy drama and left me hanging. No way I’m going to a concert by myself.”

“$8,” Anna the bartender said as she placed the drink in front of her. It was the classiest drink she had prepared in that dive bar in months.

“Damn girl, you’re killin’ me here,” Jovan said as he pulled out his last $20 bill. All he had left after that was a few dollars.

“Well you asked.”

“Yea, I did, didn’t I?”

Amanda watched as he took the $12 change the bartender gave and put it back into his pocket.

“So wait, you’re not going to tip her?” she wanted to know.

“What for? All she did was pour the drink into your glass!” Jovan responded. “Shit, times are hard, it’s a recession.”

“Then I don’t want it,” Amanda said as she pushed the drink back. It almost fell over, but Jovan caught it.

“Hey, hey, hey! What’re you doin? That cost $8!”

“I don’t want the fucking drink if you’re not going to tip the bartender. I just don’t want it, it’s tainted. It’s bad. It’s just not right. You can have it,” Amanda said with her nose scrunched up in disgust. She called Anna the bartender back over.

Jovan looked at her with his mouth hanging open in confusion. She had just done a 180-degree flip, from sweetie to crazy, right before his eyes.

“Let me have a different martini please,” Amanda called out boldly. She grabbed her clutch and stood up to move her seat.

“Wait, wait.” Jovan reached back into his pocket and took the two dollar bills back out. He laid it on the bar. “Is that better?”

It was as if the switch flicked off in Amanda’s head. She smiled again and Jovan relaxed.

“Yes, thank you very much,” she said as she sat back down. She grabbed the glass and slid it back toward her waiting lips. Jovan watched as she took her first sip as if nothing just happened.

Jovan was quiet for a while as he wondered what was up with this beautiful girl. Was she a little touched? But for some odd reason it kind of turned him on.



***

Somehow Jovan managed to convince Amanda to come over to “his” apartment. It was actually his girlfriend’s apartment, but she was away with her kids visiting her parents in Virginia.

Jovan made the case that Amanda was so far away from her apartment that it wasn’t the best idea to drive after drinking three martinis in under an hour.

As soon as he shut the front door behind him, Amanda sprang on him like a grasshopper. She jumped into his arms and straddled him tightly with her legs. She kissed him from the nape of his neck to his ear lopes and back around to his chest. Jovan was breathing heavily as she walked her into the bedroom. He tossed her on the bed like a rag doll and dropped his jeans in what seemed like one motion.

Amanda reached into her purse and grabbed a condom. She came prepared that night.

She ripped the wrapper open with her teeth as Jovan joined her on the bed, hovering over her anxiously. To his surprise she put the condom in her mouth instead of his hand. Before he knew it her mouth was slowly engulfing him. He moaned as she expertly applied the protection. She grabbed his t-shirt and threw him down on his back to mount him—he couldn’t wait to see what else she was an expert at...



When they were done, Amanda laid down for about an hour, but then got up and went to the bathroom. When she came back out she started sliding her heels on.

“Where are you going?” he asked. “It’s like 3am?”

“Just give me your number,” she demanded impatiently as she pulled her cellphone out of her little purse.

Before she left, she made it a point to express plenty of disgust at the way “his” apartment looked. There was that switch—on again. Just an hour before she was giving him porn star loving and now she was in bitch-mode. Despite her disgust she continued to put his number into her phone then left without saying another word. Jovan got up from bed to look out of the window and watched her jump into her dark blue Volkswagen Jetta before jetting off into the night.

Jovan was a classic case of childhood neglect. His mother had abandoned him when he was 10. His father was around here and there, but never enough to teach him basic life skills including respect for himself and others. He was put under the care of an aunt who mentally abused him night and day.

Growing up as a skinny biracial kid who looked white in an all-black and Latino community in the Bronx certainly didn’t help. His real name was Jeremy, but after getting teased mercilessly he reinvented himself as Jovan at age 12. When his aunt got tired of him, he was bounced from foster home to foster home until he finally turned 18. Now a moderately attractive 25-year-old, he lived on the kindness, goodwill and mercy of women.

He was really digging Amanda and hoped she would call him—like soon—so that they could do what they did again. It was so exhilarating and taboo making love to such a beautiful woman in his girlfriend’s bed.

But it was over two weeks before he finally got a strange text from a 917 number.

It’s Amanda. Take me to Del Riccio’s for dinner this Sunday

When Jovan saw her name his heart fluttered, but then it sank when he saw what she wanted. Del Riccio’s sounded like one of those expensive places in the city.

“I’ll figure it out…” he muttered to himself as he responded to her text.

sure, where’s that?



It was now Friday and Jovan had two days to raise at least $150 to take Amanda to Del Riccio’s to eat. Factoring in a tip and drinks that was the bare minimum he needed.

First he hit up his girlfriend, who only had $30 to spare. She really didn’t even have that considering that she had two children under the age of five, two part-time jobs and was supporting a grown man, but he still managed to finagle it out of her.

He hustled the other two days, flipping the little bit of money he had on hand. After his friends gave him the cold shoulder, he ended up having to resort to asking his baby’s mother Cyndi. Cyndi came from a well-to-do family on the Upper East Side, but was partially disowned when she had a baby by Jovan and banned to a small but paid-for studio apartment in the LES.

Cyndi was his last stop before he headed up to the restaurant that Sunday. He now had about $100 and needed at least another 50 bucks.

As soon as he knocked on the door Cyndi snatched it open. He sent her a text an hour before he arrived, so she knew he was coming.

“WHAT, do you want?” she yelled at him.

“Heyyy baby,” he started and reached over to hug her through the doorway.

“Quit fucking around Jovan! Tell me what you want,” she said and walked back into her apartment leaving the door open.

“Okay, okay. I need like a hundred spot,” he admitted. “You got it?”

“Jovan, do you realize you have a baby? And you’re asking ME for money? When are you gonna support your son?”

He rolled his eyes and realized that he was going to have to pour it on thick in order to get somewhere. Cyndi barely took care of their son herself, her family kept him most of the time. It was 5:35pm and he was running out of time before his date at 7:30 with Amanda. He got close up behind Cyndi and kissed her on her neck.

“Come here baby, you know how much I miss you,” he crooned.

“Do you know what I had to sacrifice because I chose you? My father fucking disowned me!” Cyndi continued. “Then you leave me pregnant by myself?”

“Cyndi, you told me to leave …” Jovan said into her ear.

“I didn’t mean it!” Cyndi said with a pout.

60 minutes later he was high-tailing it out of Cyndi’s building, $150 richer. It took longer than he expected and he had to take a shower to rinse away the scent of sex. All she needed was a good pounding to relax and send her right to sleep.

The last thing Jovan wanted was to be late for this dinner date because Amanda seemed like the type who would leave after 10 minutes.



***

Amanda complained about just about everything she touched, drank or ate that night. The bill came to $200 after she ordered an expensive bottle of wine to herself. Luckily due to her tipsy state she didn’t have a chance to analyze his tipping this time, because all he could afford to give was about 10 percent. He needed a few bucks on him in case she wanted to go to a bar after.

As soon as they left the restaurant Amanda did a twirl in her body hugging designer dress and wrapped her hands around his soft stubbly neck. She got on her tippy toes and gave him the best kiss he had ever had in his life. Disinterested New Yorkers sauntered by and it was as if they were caught in time, in their own world for a moment.

Amanda had absolutely no problem getting them both into her favorite club in the Meat Packing District. She cornered him in an open booth near the bathroom and sat on top of him. After just a little bit of a lap dance he was so hard that he thought he would burst through his khaki pants.

But then she threw a fit in the middle of the club when she learned that he didn’t have a credit card to buy her a bottle of Rose champagne for $400.

“Who did I decide to go out with tonight, a man or a little boy? Boy, let me find out that you’re just plain old broke!” she said, embarrassing him loudly before stomping off to the bathroom.

When she emerged 10 minutes later it was as if nothing had ever happened — she just wanted to go home.

They made out in the cab the entire way back to Brooklyn. She had an apartment in Park Slope. Jovan was certain that he was going to have sex for the second time that night.

When they arrived on her block she sucked his tongue a bit more and then bit down on his lip. But then she just “bye,” jumped out of the cab and took off down the block.

Jovan was stuck in “lunchbox” mode trying to make sense of what just happened. He watched as she walked down the sidewalk and around the corner. He was so prepared to have another night with Amanda like he did the first night they met that it took him a long while to accept the reality that he was going home by himself.

“Where to?” the cab driver asked, snapping him out of his reverie.

He glanced at the meter and saw that it read $17.50. He had $10 to his name.

“Yo look guy, sorry but….”



***

For the next four days, Jovan called and texted Amanda non-stop. But she wouldn’t answer his calls and had only answered his text messages twice. He desperately wanted to know when he could see her next. She kept him at arm’s length.

He didn’t know what her problem was. What was her angle? She was so off and then on. One minute she was all over him and the next she was treating him like dirt. He was so confused, yet he couldn’t leave her alone just yet. He was aware of the fact that he was letting down his guard by messing with this girl, but he couldn’t help it. He thought he might actually be in love for the first time in his life. If his friends knew how he was acting they would disown him just like Cyndi’s family did to her.

When he finally gave up on trying to contact her so much she called him a few days later. To his surprise she invited him over to her house for a drink on a Tuesday afternoon. He was so excited about finally being alone with her again that he went to the barber shop and got a fresh cut. He bought a brand new fitted hat and wore his best outfit.

When he arrived at her apartment in Park Slope it smelled and looked so nice that he already started imagining it as his new home. Amanda had on a clingy soft pink jump suit that exposed her belly button ring.

She prepared him a vodka tonic with ice and knelt down next to him on her buttery brown leather couch. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, even after she turned on a movie.

“I thought you might like this…” she told him. How sweet and considerate of her, he thought.

Jovan tried so hard to stay interested in the movie, but she smelled like vanilla ice cream. That was his favorite smell, how did she know?

“Matter of fact, why don’t we go to the movies tomorrow?” Amanda suggested. “I want to see that new 3D movie with the Underworld chick.”

“Ok yea, that sounds like a plan,” he said with a smirk and slid closer to her to take in more of her scent. At that point she could suggest going to the moon and he would agree. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have two dimes to rub together.

It wasn’t long before he was all over her, ravishing her body on the couch and doing everything in his power to please her.

After about an hour of Amanda-time, Jovan figured it was finally time for him to get some pleasure too. He started unbuckling his pants.

“What are you doing?” she asked as she looked at him with that same look of dismay that she had at the bar when they met.

“Uh…what do you think?” he asked back.

“Do you really think I’m gonna sleep with you right now? Get real!” Amanda snorted.

Jovan’s face became a question mark.

“Dude please, I only fuck with ballers. And you and I both know you’re not playing in my league right now,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “I might have slept with you that first night but that was out of desperation. I was drunk. You gotta prove yourself if you want to get with me again.”

Jovan’s heart cracked into a million pieces and every shred of dignity he had for himself left his body. “Then why the fuck did you invite me over here?”

“To watch a movie! Dude, get real. I just broke up with my man and needed a little fun,” she waved him off. “Look at me. Now look at you. And you don’t have any money. You don’t even have on a fucking watch. But you want me to sleep with you? What’s in it for me?”

“What are you tryin’ to say?” Jovan tried to speak up for himself, but his mouth was getting dry. He felt like warmed over crap.

“Uggghh! You know what, time to go. Just get the fuck out of here! What was I even thinking to let you in my house?” she asked herself as she got up and started scratching her head in annoyance.

Jovan just sat there, dumbfounded. He found himself confused a lot when he was around Amanda.

“Did you hear me? Get out or I’m calling the cops. Do you really want a new charge? I know your ghetto ass is probably on probation!” she threatened.

“Okay, okay!” Jovan said with his hands up as he stood up from the couch. He hesitated at the door, thinking she might flip another switch. “You’re serious?”

Amanda picked up her vodka glass and threw it at him like she was pitching in the major leagues. It barely missed his head. He ran out before she had a chance to grab the other one.



***

That night, Jovan went to his favorite bar and got so drunk that he ended the night with a bar fight. He got his butt thoroughly kicked. The very next afternoon, as he was healing from a fresh new black eye Jovan got a call from Amanda. When he saw her name flash on the screen he picked it up on the first ring. She had him well-trained at that point.

“Where are you?” she asked.

“Uh… home?”

“When were you gonna call me for the movies today?” she demanded. “Do you think it’s cool to keep me waiting?”

Jovan jumped up and started looking around. “You still wanna go to the movies? I thought…”

“I don’t want to hear about what you thought,” she dismissed him. “Just meet me in midtown at the Multiplex near Penn Station in an hour.”

Jovan looked at the phone incredulously. He couldn’t believe this girl, she was an enigma.

He started scrambling around his girlfriend’s apartment looking for his clothes and some money for the movies. She was at work as usual — surely there was a few dollars somewhere.

He finally scratched up about $19, some of it in change. He showered and made a beeline for the door.



***

“Ohhh baby, what happened to you?” Amanda asked as soon as she saw his swollen, blackened eye. “Were you fighting?”

“Uh yea, a lil bit,” he responded, relishing in the attention. She caressed the side of his face tenderly.

“Poor baby!” Amanda reached up and placed her plump lips on his eye. Jovan relaxed and his body tingled. He couldn’t help but keep an eye on her cleavage, which was fully on display. She wore a tight wool sweater and a pair of slinky jeans to match.

Maybe she’ll let me cop a feel in the theater, he thought.

“Okay, let’s go, we’re gonna miss the movie,” she said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the box office counter. “I want to see this.”

“Two to Underworld,” she told the clerk.

“Sure. That’ll be $32.50.”

Jovan reached into his pockets knowing darned well that he didn’t have enough to pay for both tickets. He had a bunch of dollar bills and quarters. Amanda scrunched up her face as she watched him picking through his change.

“What the fuck is this?” she asked. “Don’t you have a credit card or something?”

“No… um, actually do you have like 12 bucks on you?”

Amanda looked up at him with her mouth open in disgust.

“I’m sorry baby, I was in a rush and…”

“Uh uh, uh uh,” Amanda said and threw her hand up. She walked away from the counter without saying a word.

“Sorry,” Jovan told the clerk and grabbed his change back up from the counter. “Baby, wait.”

Amanda kept walking as if she didn’t even know him. She hailed down a cab outside.

“Amanda, come on, we’ll work something out. Just give me a minute.”

“I can’t believe you just asked me to spend my own money?” she said as she opened the cab door. Jovan held it open. “Why do I even bother with you?”

“We can go get some pizza or something, come on, it’s not so bad. Just a minor setback, you know?”

“Back up!” Amanda got up from her seat and pushed Jovan so hard that he went flying into a nearby car. She slammed the cab door and rolled down the window. “Go home you broke motherfucker. Leave me alone!”



***

This scenario kept playing out over and over again for the next couple of weeks. Amanda would call him and ask to go out. It was usually an expensive request. They would get along royally, then Jovan would piss Amanda off and she would go into an angry rage. She was pretty abusive but all he could do was sit back and take it, because he was falling in love with her.

He hustled like crazy one weekend to get enough money to buy her something expensive. When he brought her the designer Gucci scarf he purchased she scoffed at him and asked what she needed with a scarf in the spring time. She also made fun of him for buying something that was so obviously marked down.

Amanda refused to sleep with him again, but had given him an amazing blow job the day he brought her a small Chanel purse that she actually liked. He had shoplifted it from a little boutique downtown and was nearly caught in the process.

Jovan tried his best to meet Amanda’s standards. He went on a job hunt in Manhattan so that he would be able to afford her lifestyle and when that didn’t work out he tried other more risky methods of making fast money.

He called Amanda as much as possible without being suspected as a stalker, but she barely ever answered. One day he called her and found out that her cell phone number was not working. He tried to visit her at the apartment nearly every day, but no one ever answered the door.

He continued looking for her, to the point where it did become stalking. He would sit outside at a coffee shop down the block from her apartment for hours waiting for her to come in or go out. But he never saw her again—she was gone and didn’t leave a trace.

Word was that Jovan was so messed up over Amanda that he was developing a pretty serious drinking problem. He was getting into really bad fights, doing drugs and his live-in girlfriend finally kicked him out of the house. He dropped 15 pounds in the two months that he was dating Amanda. His self-esteem dropped below the charts because she had hit the man where he hurt most: his inability to provide for her. She had called him a “broke motherfucker” so many times that he started to think it was her pet name for him. He internalized the abuse and started to feel like he wasn’t really even worthy of being called a man anymore.



POW Jovan. Out for the count….


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