Jumbled

Jumbled up, out and in,
to much inside.
Don't know where to begin.
I've screamed I,ve cried.
Such sadness must be a sin,
but people all around me have died.
It feels like the Winner wont win.
Only a lie a liar has lied.
Practicing not to listen again,
knowing the truth inside.
Still not able to hold the tears in,
see apart of me also has died.
Don't want to look at where I've been.
I want to move forward and say I've tried,
but the phone rings, here we go again.
Some times life's no help to feel alive.
Never knowing where to begin.
Always to jumbled up inside.
Caught up believeing again and again,
a lie a liar has lied.
Ate up with fear within,
making me wish it was I who died.
Knowing I'm letting the liar win,
and am on the run with no where to hide.
Such fear I know is a sin.
Many tears has my spirit cried.
I will get back up, I wont give in.
At least I can say I,ve tried.