Sometimes I feel like a Pharisee
Sometimes I feel like a fisher of men
Sometimes I feel like a failure
Sometimes I feel like a servant of Him
Truth is
He knows me as I am:
The illegitimate judge on a throne of song
A struggling swimmer in the water
The wrecked castle in the sand
A hart panting with thirst
He knows me as I am
It is my choice of self
The arrogance of pride
That leads me to become willingly blind
To ignore the dark and the rotting
The death that grasps for my heart
It is a desperate struggle some days
The twin desires roiling in combat
A physical fight between myself and Him
And I thank God
That every time He will win
Though I stumble times beyond count
'Cause I have seen my life down that road
Full of a hopelessness that has no end
I am a ruin of what could be
A reflection in muddy waters
The mirage of a real man
Failing and insubstantial
One day, in this,
The greatest story ever told,
I hope to be redeemed.
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