This is a short I believe essay that I have written for an assignment in class. |
Sometimes words can not explain how I feel, or slices of my life can not be solved by equations, or can be explained by a great mind. So, instead, I turn to a blank surface in hopes of giving myself a close enough clarification of my emotions, experiences, and ideas. In a way this gives me voice, and a sense of individuality. Everyone has the right to express themselves in whatever way they think is right, but, for me, I believe in self-expression through art. There was once a moment in my life when I had felt so confused about everything, especially in school. I just did not know who I was.Someone once said that your toughest critic is often yourself. My parents and my classes had high expectations, but that did not compare to what I expected from myself. This need to excel at everything just added to the stress and confusion that I already had. I just felt so trapped. I would often find myself asking questions. Why? Why is this hapenning to me? or What does this mean? It had gotten to the the point where words that were meant to comfort such as, "It's going to be okay," or "don't worry about it," sounded like broken records that were repeated so often that the sound of it came through one ear and out the other. Now, I guess that I had to go through all of that pain to realize that keeping my mixed emotions bottled up inside did not help at all. It actually made me feel worse. How was I to show my emotions and thoughts in a way that would directly tie into what I already loved doing? Art. Art was and is pretty much my outlet for everything, I think that it is a way to show my feelings creatively and conceptually. I began to pour everything on that blank surface. Everything that I have created had me in it. Each color, or stroke of a pencil represented me, and it was right then that I found out who I was. I am a work of art. There is a saying that goes, " A picture is worth a thousand words." I believe this to be true. There is a story behind every shot in a moment of life. Whether it was a day at Disney World many years ago, or a day with friends, these pictures served me as past experiences that will be preserved for a long time. They act as a time line that express what I have experienced throughout my life so far. I incorporate these pictures into my artwork so in a way, they are like stories behind stories, and I want to remember them even if they were good or bad. In my everyday life, I see many things that inspire me such as, issues around the world, the media, or artworks of other artists. I believe in self-expression through art because it gives voice to things that I can not explain through words. Art is a way to vent out my stress and my hardships. But, most importantly, expressing myself through art gives me clarity in the midst of all the confusion that life has to offer, because what I create is only something that I can fully understand. |