Different battlefields

This bitter taste of self pity I've been tasting has driven my senses to a dulling hault.
Everything becomes simple in these melodramatic moments
The apathy begins to drwon out rationale, the regrets allow defeat to seem more victorious.
Notning matters exceptthe feeling of desperation that clutches at your ambitions throat.
Chocking optimissim, and aspirations lifeless.
Here you are this hollow shell of self inflicted mental anguish, because seemingly you've excercised all your strength.
You've been patient. Yet time ticks away hours into days wasted.
You've given your all., and more than you thought you had within yourself.
Is it so much to ask for a little gratification. You have to insist if it's not instant... Then, where is it?
The unabiding personal hell I've been relishing in has began to internalize my core.
Nothing can coax my heavy heart when it's filled with this much disappointment, and discontent.
The self destruction becomes a thicket of solitude.
Resonating inside of it songs of wreckless abandon, and escapism.
All of the comfort I findin this moment still cannot vanquish the crippling doubts that become ideals.
Bringing forth the life depleting self worth.
You've carried on courageously.
You've kept you head to the sky, confident that your wishes, prayers, and pleas will be granted.
Still you feel a pain of neglect. All aroundyou mimisfourtune.
Weakened by this your head is lowered, but not in humility.
Lowered in disbelief that this your wits end.
Losing yourself, because holding on has been harder than what it seems
All the while you wanted to reach for so much more, and was deserving of
This has hit you harder than you expected
You're just to a point now where you don't accept it
Rejecting it to protect yourself
Against your own worst enemy.