Love you. Tons

Her small feet were pressing angrily the wet gleaming pavement. Her arms crossed, she strode down Fifth Avenue, her face set with an odd expression. The dripping rain was supposed to turn everything’s volume down, but instead, everything was buzzing. The shops were buzzing, the swanky hotels, the rushing taxis were buzzing.
Alexis was stepping rapidly, gnashing her teeth because of the cold. Little rain drops poured on her already wet skin, making her tremble.
“Hey! Taxi!” she shouted, turning left.
A cab stopped in front of her, so Alexis entered it, babbling the address. Her dress was soaked. And, obviously, the taxi driver had noticed that, as he was watching her disdainfully in the mirror.
Watching out of the window, at the frenzied, fast-moving world, her head started spinning around. She hated everything, starting with that morning.
Playing with her hands, Alexis swallowed her tears. It was true. She had been adopted. She had nothing. Nothing at all. The girl frowned, fighting against all the painful memories that were trying to strike back. But she lost.
It was that notebook bound up in leather. As she had opened the cover, the leather had creaked under the strain. It was her mother’s diary. She didn’t even know that her mother had owned a diary. She had dugged it out from under all the odds in her attic. Why hadn’t she been told? She was almost sixteen now, she should have known it all.
Alexis closed her eyes and tightened her fists. She didn’t want to remember the conversation with her mother. Or… with the woman who she used to call “mother”. She couldn’t even listen to her. All she knew was that she had left her sobbing aloud, with hundreds of photos sprawled around her on the floor. She felt sorry for her mother. She didn’t mean to act like that. But her pain couldn’t be compared to anything in the world. She was alone and cold. She didn’t have anything. “Anyone”.
The taxi was speeding on the manic streets, past the countless hordes of people streaming on the pavements. On the streets that she believed to be her city’s. Now she didn’t know anything at all. About herself, about her past. Nothing was “hers”. And she needed it more than anything.
The taxi cab stopped all of a sudden. Alexis opened her eyes, startled and wiped her tears before handing the driver the money and stepping on the wet street again.
The cold wind slapped her face. Alexis bit her lip and went straight to the apartment block in front of her.
“Please, let him be home. Please”, she whispered ringing shyly, jabbing her thumb down rhythmically. She was breathing noisily and water kept pouring down her body. She needed to talk to him.
Matthew was her only true friend. She didn’t know why, but she had always found better friends in boys. Alexis had known Matthew since she was little. And she had to talk to him. She checked her watch, nervously. “Come on, come on”. She knew his parents were out, so she only hoped that he was home.
Finally, the door opened. She pushed it with her back, fighting against the heavy spring that tried to swing it shut. Going rapidly up the stairs, Alexis peered through the darkness at his door. She approached it, panting, and she knocked.
When Matthew opened the door, his mouth opened wide and he made a step backwards, one of his hands on the door handle. The girl couldn’t just enter his house normally. No. Not that day. She could either stomp in or stay still. So she didn’t move.
“Oh, Alex” Matthew managed to say. “Al, what…?” But he stopped. He knew very well what had happened. He took her hand and pulled her in, locking the door. Alexis had her eyes red and still wet, and her make-up was ruined, not to mention her dress. Her chest was moving slowly as she was breathing and she held his hand tightly.
Matthew faked a smile and brought her in the living, where they both sat on the floor, not speaking. That was the thing that Alexis loved the most about him. Even if they didn’t say a word, they always knew what the other felt or meant. So they just stood there for a long time, pretending to have nothing to tell each other. Alexis rubbed hard against some spot on the carpet. Matthew followed her hand with his eyes.
“I’ll wet the carpet”, the girl eventually broke the silence.
He pretended not to hear her.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“About wetting the carpet?”
Alexis smiled and turned to him. His dark brown hair was messy and he fixed her seriously with his twinkling green eyes.
“You know what I mean” he added.
The girl sighed.
“Matt, I have nothing. So there’s nothing to talk about”
“Al”, he paused and came closer to her. “You know it’s not true.”
Alexis drummed her fingers on her legs, which were curled under her.
“So you knew?”
She looked at Matthew, worried. He nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“We didn’t want you to suffer”
“What do you think I’m doing now?”
The boy raised his eyebrows.
“Wetting my floor?”
Alexis smiled again. She couldn’t be mad on him. She couldn’t be mad with him. She put her heavy head on her shoulder.
“I’m scared, Matt”
“Al, everything is fine”
The girl began to shake as small tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Alex, look at me!”
She shook her head
“Look at me!” He pulled her shoulders and held her in front of him to look her in the eyes.
“Nothing has changed. Nothing will ever change. You’re the same, your family is the same. Your parents love you.”
“They’re not my parents! I’m so stupid. I should have figured out. Who are my parents, Matt? Who the hell am I?”
Alexis burst into tears, and when Matthew hugged her, she hiccupped. His warm body was somehow covering her and she could feel his heart beating quickly, next to hers. She had never had that feeling before. Her face slipped on his shoulder again, really close to his neck and the comforting smell of the aftershave made her stop crying.
“Your real parents don’t worth you. All that matters is that you are safe and Mr. and Mrs. Robins love you. Tons”
He kissed her on the forehead.
“You are not alone. You’re the same cute, happy, smart Alexis that you were two weeks ago. And you know it. Now, is that what you really want to do to your parents? For everything they have done for you?”
Alexis didn’t answer. She hated that he had that effect on her. She hated that he was always right.
“Let me get you some towels”, he added and got up, helping her do the same. As he turned to leave the room, Alexis whispered.
“Matt?”
The boy stopped and looked at her.
“Yeah?”
“Put your arms around me”
Matthew seemed to stop breathing for a second, then approached and slightly embraced her waist, holding her tight, close to him. He pressed his lips on her cold wet cheek and let one of his hands slide down her spine. Alexis knew then. He was hers. She moved her head a little just to be face-to-face. Matthew could feel her breathe right next to his mouth, softly, like an angel, and her tight curls were tickling his skin. He couldn’t let her suffer. “I love you. Tons”, he muttered, and when he finally kissed her, the next instant, she already had her arms around his neck. They stood like that for long, precious moments and when Alexis finally detached herself from that sweet intoxication, Matthew smiled at her kindly, wiping her tears.
“Come, I’ll take you home”
He went to take an umbrella and they both got out of the apartment. While Matthew was locking, Alexis fixed him, proudly. Was he the same Matt? She had never realized how much she needed him. The boy saw her staring at him.
“What?” he asked, grinning, as the rosebushes on his cheeks became real bouquets of love.
“Nothing”
They went out silently. The image of New York under the curtain of rain was priceless. But right there, where the sky was outlined, there was a small, a really small rainbow. Alexis knew that, somehow, it was for her.
“Are you coming?”
The girl took out her phone.
“Wait. There’s one thing I need to do.”
She looked up for her mother’s number and typed rapidly: “I’m sorry, mum. I love you. Tons” When her cell phone beeped, a few seconds later, a huge smile appeared on her face. “I’m sorry, too, honey. Come home. Love you. Tons”
Alexis strode to Matt, grinning. She didn’t care that she had been adopted. She didn’t care who her real parents were. She knew who her parents were. And, in fact, family is what you consider family. Family and friends… and New York.
She giggled. She had everything. She had what was the best…