Trust Me

         I could barely keep my emotions in check as I struggled to keep his strong gaze.  I couldn’t look away; I couldn’t let myself.  There was something different about this man.  He didn’t want to hurt me, to use me.  He wanted to protect me, or so he said.  For some reason, it didn’t take much to convince me that he was being truthful.  I don’t know why.  But it was definitely happening.
         “You’re okay, right?” he asked in a hushed tone.  His accent practically melted me and drew me in, suspended on his words.
         “Yeah…I’m fine.  I…think I’m ready for this.”
         He nodded quietly and ran his fingers along my jaw as if he was caressing porcelain.  The mesmerized look in his eyes made me cringe, but I forced myself to relax when I saw that it was love, not lust.  He leaned in with a precise, calculated speed.  After hovering for long enough for me to back out, he pressed his lips against mine.
         It was unlike anything I had ever experienced with a man.  No force, no violence, simply unadulterated love and care.  Nothing like what I had experienced in my past.
         I took a deep breath and held it for a moment.  He smelled so good—clean, masculine, and perfect.  I never wanted him to let go.  Not only did he smell better than any man I had ever been around, he was also the softest.  His lips were smooth and full.  His skin was unblemished and silky.  He was perfect…where had this man been all my life?
         He was holding back for me; that was easy to tell.  No deepening the kiss or anything.  Ever so carefully, his hands slid up my face to my hair, and he wrapped his fingers in the strands.
         I pulled away slightly but couldn’t find it in myself to completely separate from him.  Something about his touch was so calming; I just had to have it.  My body was shaking, but I knew I needed to force myself to do this if I ever wanted to really be a part of his life.  And I knew I couldn’t give this man up.  If I lost him due to fear, I don’t think I’d ever fall in love again.  Love?  Was this what love really felt like?  No fear or pressure to act a certain way or do a certain thing?  This was all so new to me.
         I could taste him and found him to be remarkably fresh.  Like everything else about him, he was absolutely perfect.  I shuttered and pulled away slowly.  As wonderful as it had been, I couldn’t go any further. 
         He cocked his head and looked at me with a concerned expression on his face.  “Are you alright?”
         I nodded, my lips still tingling from his touch.  “Yes.  Never better actually.  You…you make me feel so…filled…like nothing could ever go wrong.”
         The flat line of his mouth curved into a sweet smile.  Relief was written all over his face.  “Good.  I thought I scared you or something.  You know I’d never want to do that.”
         I hesitated before crawling over into his arms.  I could tell from his soft gasp that I had shocked him.
         “What…”
         “I’m okay.  I want to do this.  I feel so safe with you.  I’m trying to be braver.”
         He smiled and held me closer but not too much so I wouldn’t panic.  He pushed my head gently so it was against his strong chest and let out a soft sigh.  “I think you’re very brave already.”
         I nestled my head tighter against him and clutched onto his shirt.  He was a new kind of man, and I was willing to do whatever I had in order to make this work.  I liked him very much.  No…perhaps…I loved this man.  With him, I could have faith in men again.  With him, I could live a normal life like I’ve always wanted.  I needed him more than anything.