The world maintains the deep relaxing inhale of breath, followed by the soothing exhale that naturally accompanies. Even then, my mind remains still and motionless, holding only but a little flame deep within. And all at once there comes memories; ghouls dressed in past experience with the intent to draw but a single tear from my eye; intending to subdue my mind with past friends, Love lost, the forsaking of Life, regretted confrontation, the thoughts of the dark side of my soul, a laughable past, a wounded present, and the deep dark unknown that generally stands as a barrier to hope itself: the future. Rushing, churning, floating up and falling down; Regret presides in this state of my mind – the constant pressure of the mind upon itself to 'remember' what was, is, and is to come – yet, despite its greatest efforts, it refuses to self destruct. As if every thought is a drop of water, here is a waterfall, a great wave that is to topple the highest building within the fortress of Sanity. And here I stand to watch, cheering it on, this cleansing tide that comes to topple me. I see my faults, in this situation and that, rising and rising as memories flash behind closed eyes; with each passing second, a moment of regret is recalled – relived in the facade of imagination – building one on top of another and taking shape. As the drops collide in my mind, they first formed the feet - tender, having never made acquaintance with Earth – then the legs to the hips; and up and up and up, until before me is Her. And with Her image stained upon the back of my eyelids, the world once more began to inhale – the cold wind rushing past my cheeks and under my ears – and the culmination of my darkest side summed up by the woman in the yellow dress. |