It's a need to know basis

What am I?
It’s a need to know basis.

Friends.
The people I confide in, I only speak to because they don’t know me.
But, they are trying.

They don't know me
Not so much like the way I don’t know me.
It's different.

They think they do [know me], but it’s really someone else they’re thinking of.

No, that's not me at all.

Just something else fabricated from meaningless thoughts and mind games played by myself.
I like to show it off,
But I am not that being.




This is what I think when I’m alone.

Maybe all the lies I tell are to those who

know me
like I know me.

Or don’t know me like I don’t care to know me.




Tricky,
It's tricky.


Mind games.



Playing by yourself is no fun.
Being by yourself is too serious for playtime.



I get lonely. I am lonely.
We all are sometimes.
But with others I get suffocated. I am suffocated.
I feel trapped, caught, estranged. Sometimes.

Mostly.
All the times.

I am ALONE. Now.


But what’s the news?

I want someone. Now.


But what’s the news?

I need some
thing.


But what’s the news…?

Some place? Some body? Some BEING?

No.
Not now.



But what’s the news?

There is none, because I have none, because nothing has changed.

And something like that will not change.



Thank you! Thank you, Universe.
God.
Science.
Religion.
Mom. Dad.
Earth.







But, that’s a whole different story

Not now

Please







I am fond sometimes of
loneliness.

It is fascinating, only because I can’t imagine being without it.


In small doses, or large, we all deal with it

So whom are we kidding when we want someone CONSTANTLY by our side?
We're never not-

Never not-

Never not-
NEVER NOT
Alone.



But what’s the news?


Think about it.
To WHOM are we lying to when we say we don’t like to be alone?


We all know.


We crave it in varying amounts.
[Lonliness]
We always want the space in our mind that we reserve for ourselves.
Never for others to see or hear or taste or fathom or FEEL, because they will never know.
Just like we will never know theirs and so on,

so on,
so on.

Comprehension.
We don’t know how.




Someone silently sleeps just across from me and I barely know them.

Someone I see everyday. Someone I speak to everyday and I barely know them.


Not in a sort of way that anyone would notice.

I do not know that part of their mind
Their subconscious that is perpetually
ALONE. And no one ever will.

We don’t know how.




And I think about it.

Being ALONE

And I understand it’s not wrong.

Being ALONE

But what’s the news?