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Why do people become lonely in an "over populated world? |
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FACTS ABOUT LONELINESS Human kind was not created to live a solitary life. God never created Ewe for Adam as a second thought or afterthought. God himself, knowing the importance of relationship with others, even among animals, created them in pairs. In order for Adam, the first human to know the value of relationship, which is the antidote for loneliness, God intentionally delayed the creation of Ewe so that when Ewe was finally introduced he will value her presence. Adam was therefore to temporally learn from the way the animals related with their pair. What is Loneliness? Loneliness is a state or human condition in which a human being finds it difficult to get someone to interact with, relate or share fellowship with. Such people are forced to live a painful solitary life. Certain events in life might cause loneliness such as; the death of a spouse, divorce, retirement, relocation into a new locality, children leaving home to start their own home etc. The situations cited above further demonstrate how relationship and interaction with other humans is so important in our daily lives. Let me pose a question. Did you know that Adam was still lonely even after Ewe was given to him as a companion? With Ewe around, Adam still went about his normal duties assigned to him by God alone and normally left Ewe behind. Even when he returned to Ewe after the day’s hard work and Ewe handed over to him the forbidden fruit, he will not say a word but just took it and decided to mind his own business. No wonder, it was after they were driven out of the garden that we begun to read that they “knew themselves and had offspring” a responsibility they were given right after they were created. Today, there are many married couples who are just either room -mates or cohabiting and are as lonelier than bachelors or spinsters. Like Adam each is minding his or her own business to the extent that they are unmindful of the other person. ROOT CURSES If loneliness is a lack and an inability to have a good relationship with a fellow human, then the foundation of this lack of a good relationship can be traced to selfishness, tendency towards seeking one’s own interest rather than seeking the interest and happiness of other people. Simply put, people who are normally self cantered and are unmindful of the wellbeing, welfare, happiness and interest of other people end up living a lonely life. Other habits that can create loneliness are the following; 1. Lack of trust for other people due to past unfavourable experience 2. Fear of being taken advantage of or being hurt by someone 3. Over concentration on the negative habits of other people rather than the positive sides 4. Inability to forgive those who offend us 5. Seeing our self as better than others 6. Un-willingness to compromise on certain values we hold and insisting on imposing our views on others. We must remember that relationship is sharing and in sharing we must be willing to sacrifice our interests and seek the interest and happiness of the other person. To break the cycle of loneliness, the following should be considered. 1. Seek the interest of other people and their happiness and they will always wish to be around you. 2. Quit from a habit of suspicion of others and establish a relationship based on trust. 3. Learn to forgive offence as quickly as you can 4. Learn to be courteous and nice to people 5. Control your anger and rage 6. Respect the views of others even if you do not agree with them For those who find it difficult to relate with other people due to past experience, consider this African proverb, “One does not stop drinking water if your child gets drowned in a river” Perhaps you may start solving the problem of loneliness by sharing this post with someone and start a discussion with them on some of the points and it may be a process to make you more approachable to other people. |
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