Exam Time

As I stood outside the exam hall, holding my clear pencil case and water in each hand, a thought crossed my mind. I didn't feel anything. Nothing at all.

For the first time in my educational career, I had come to the most important exams in my life yet. This was the point that they started to matter. And what did this feel like? Well, you would think I would be going crazy, nervous as hell, clutching whatever's close just to keep from falling. So did I. For every test, no matter how small, I had always been scared of failure, almost shaking right up until we got told to put our pens down. But for the first time, my emotions were frozen. Not with fear, though they should be. Just, frozen.

I wasn't sure what to expect of this, it was the first time it had ever happened. Was this a good thing? This absolute disconnection of emotion had to be a good thing, right? It would mean my brain wasn't clouded by nervousness, fear consuming my thoughts. But then again, what if this was terrible? Shouldn't I be feeling something, anything, at all? Wasn't it that tingling excitement, the feeling of alertness in every cell of your body, that made it feel real? This, this just felt like a daydream, an absent thought.