Let Me Go

The pills seem like a good option.

They seem like the only option.

It amazes me; this tiny object, it could offer me permanent release. Permanent rest.

I’m so tired, physically, emotionally. I am drained and I don’t think I can go on much longer.

At least if it’s the pill, my body will stay intact. There won’t be any scars or wounds for everyone to see. At least if it’s the pill i’ll just fall into a deep sleep. The darkness will swallow me and I’ll be free at last.

Living, breathing, being, it has become a chore. I wake up each morning sadder than before. I wake up each morning with a heavy heart and the knowledge that one little pill, one tiny tiny pill, can make this all stop. It will make this end.

End. I like that word. It signifies freedom. No longer being bound to responsibility or possibility.

No longer being bound to abstract concepts.

I hope people will understand. I hope they will be able to accept that I did this to myself. That happiness was never my reality and death was my only release.

I hope they’ll understand.

I hope you won’t hate me. I’m doing this out of love. No one wants to be saddled with unhappiness, with despair. I will not drag you down with me.

Please believe me when I say this is the right thing to do.

For us.

For you.

For me.

Let me go. I need this.

I need liberty