In Your Hands

I leaned back in the seat that smelled of old leather and old people. I pulled my hood above my head and turned up my music. Falling in Reverse's screams filled my ears and I sighed. Home at last, well not really but, it will be for a while.
"Alex can I use your make-up while your gone?" My twelve year old sister Vi turned towards me. Her long curly brown hair tumbled over her shoulders. Her big hazel eyes stared into mine and her pouty lips had me jealous, almost.
"No. Why would I let you do that?" Turning up the volume I attempted to tune her out.
"Mom! Alexandra won't let me use her make-up while she's at Loser Camp!" My hand was itching to just reach out and deliver a slap to her freckled face.
"Alex, let your sister use your make-up. Your not going to be here anyways so why does it matter?" Phebe (my Mom) sat in the passenger seat of the mini van reading a Teen Vogue magazine. Her platinum blonde hair was still darker than mine and her moonlight blue eyes didn't even turn towards us. I saw her curved lips turn into a grin.
"No, why don't you get Vi her own make-up. It's mine even if you guys threw me out." Phebe shook her head.
"You're just jealous that hot guy from school likes me more than you!" Vi grinned. That's it.
Unbuckling my seat belt I lunged forward and grabbed her hair. "You brat! Talk to me again like that and I'll break your flawless face!"
Vi screamed and slapped helplessly at me. "Mom! Alex is going crazy!" I know what I am!
Phebe rolled up the magazine and slapped my head with it. "Stop."
Stunned I let go, Vi's blood on my finger. Woah, where did that come from? "I'm not a wild animal. Hit me again with that news paper and I'll shove it up your-"
Skylar (my Dad) pushed on the breaks and I flew forward, hitting my head on Vi's seat. "Knock it off! Threaten your Mother one more time young lady and I'm sending you to military camp!"
I began to laugh. "Military camp sounds better than friggin Angel Recovery center! That place looks like it was here when God told Moses that one thing." Rubbing my head I sat back. Vi was now texting furiously on her cellphone. "Why isn't Darrock here?" Darrock is my eight year old brother who I love with my life. He has ash blonde hair that is ultra straight and has deep pacific ocean blue eyes.
"You know why, he would go into shock at seeing you leave. He loves you more than anyone here." Skylar eased off the brakes and we continued forward. Phebe shook her head. Jealous much?
"I wonder why, I was the one who took care of him when you were away in Maine and Mom was at home moping and drinking. Of course he would love me more, with an away Dad and alcoholic Mo-"
Phebe slapped her hands on her seat. "Enough! I was going through a hard time now drop it! Next time I hear you talk lowly about me, you will be severly punished." Her face was red and I swear steam was pouring out of her ears.
Leaning forward I hissed between my teeth, "Try me." When she turned from me I pulled back. I win again.
Vi whistled and whispered "Ten for Alex and none for Mom." I giggled.
Skylar turned down the radio "Get some sleep girls, Angel Recovery is four hours away. Why they put it in the middle of nowhere is beyond me. I mean seriously, how come-"
Pushing in my earphones I listened to the last of some SlipKnot song. I watched Skylar speak and watched his mouth and noticed he really needed a shave. "I mean really! No bathrooms in 20 miles!"
Vi pushed my knee. I slowly turned to look at her, she looked half asleep. "Why did you get the pretty gray eyes and platinum blonde hair?"
I shrugged. "Lucky I suppose." I pulled out the buds and shoved them in my pocket. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." We rode in silence for a few minutes. "I'm going to miss you." Her eyes were misting. I reached forward and gave her a hug.
"I'll miss you too. Take care of Darrock alright? He needs someone to watch him, remember, he hates peanut butter and jelly."
Vi yawned. "Yep, I'll remember that." Then her eyes shut. I looked at Phebe.
Her head rested against the window and her breath began to fog the glass. She looked so sweet and calm. Why couldn't she actually be like that?
"Alexandra?" Skylars voice interrupted my useless thinking.
"Yea Sky..Dad?" I brushed back the blonde whisp of hair and leaned forward.
"I know it's been a struggle for awhile now, and what you did last month....it was my fault. I knew we were putting way to much pressure on you and with your mother never sober, you had a full plate." It began to rain. Soft drops landed on the windows and slid down, trees were everywhere. Typical Montana.
"Yeah, I'm glad it happened though. Without Mom I wouldn't have..." What wouldn't I have done? Grown up? Become independent? Realize that being the oldest sucks? "Realized how much Vi and Darrock mean to me." That answer was only partially true. I've always known how much they meant to me, especially Darrock.
Darrock Micheal Dae was born when I was around his age only a little older than him. 10? 9? Something like that, anyways, I had already began cutting. It was horrible even then. I only did it because Phebe and Skylar were always fighting and saying I was tearing them apart.
It began with an accidental cut, a razor. I was in my room trying to change the blade and I cut my finger. I stared as the blood oozed down my hand. After that, me and my razor were best friends. When I was mad, there was my razor. When I felt like I was abandoned? There was my razor. It has become almost a part of me, I mean everywhere I go it's with. Whether it's in my purse or if it's in my backpack, it's with me.
"I know they mean a lot to you. Why did you do it Alex? You used to be a good girl, got good grades and were so sweet." Skylars eyes seemed misted, not this again.
"There are things I just can't tell you Dad." Leaning back my phone in my pocket vibrated. I pulled it out and looked at the screen, it was Darrock. Yes Darrock has a phone, it's just so we can watch him. Where are you Sissy?
I typed back quickly. It's okay buddy, I'm going away for a while. Be a good boy while Sissy's gone. I waited for an answer. Five minutes, then ten minutes, still nothing.
"We're here." Skylar stopped the car.
Phebe rubbed her eyes. "Alrighty then. Come on girls, wake-up." Yawning she looked in the mirror and applied a ruby colored lip stick.
Vi grunted and rolled over. "Leave me in the car. I don't care if Alex leaves, let me sleep."
A tightening in my throat suprised me. Why do I care whether or not she'll miss me? I'll be happy when I don't have to deal with her crap music blaring in the morning, right?
Phebe looked at me. "Vi. You are coming inside otherwise you will not be allowed to go to that camping trip this weekend with Daisy." Skylar turned off the car and exited. I listened to the trunk open as he grabbed my two large suitcases.
"That's not fair!" Vi sat straight up. Her hair was a tangled mess and her eyeliner was smeared half down her cheek. Ha ha.
Phebe didn't answer, she just opened the door and went to Skylars side to help with my bags. "This isn't fair." Tears dripped onto Vi's cheek.
"The world isn't fair. Get used to it." Pulling my hood back over my head I crawled over the seats and opened the door. I stopped when I saw Angel Recovery. "Holy shi-" Vi slapped my arm as she got out of the car. I wanted to strike out but was too hypnotized by the building.
Angel Recovery was a large black Gothic Revival house. There was only about ten rectangular windows spread across the front of it. The porch seemed old and broken, the only thing that made it look like it wasn't a crypt was a large black bloodhound laying on the porch. It had sad green eyes and seemed unstartled by us. I crouched down. "Come here boy." I held out my hand for the dog. It continued to stare, I stood up. "Never mind."
Looking up I noticed two enormous Weeping Willows cradling the entrance to the house. They swayed in the wind which was beginning to pick up, rain drops pelted my face. The branches moaned as the wind got stronger. "Alexandra Dae! Get over here now!" I turned to find Phebe, Skylar, and Vi already on the porch. The hound was standing besides Vi who had combed her hair and looked like a model for Aeropostale with her designer jeans and black cashmere sweater. Phebe looked ridiculous in her navy blue work dress. It clung in all the wrong places and gave her love handles. Skylar looked fine with his faded jeans and white polo shirt.
Reaching for my razor, which sat in the pocket of my skinny jeans, Phebe eyed me. She knew something was up so I pulled my hand away and crossed my arms. The rain turned into a steady stream and I hurried to the shelter of the porch. Skylar held out his hand. "What?" I met his hershey brown eyes and saw disappointment.
"The razor. Hand it over." His jaw clenched and my ears flamed. He didn't have the right to take away the only thing that helps me with my frustration! "Now."
Fishing it out of my pocket I stared at the silver metal. Ridges in the blade helped with cutting and intensified the satisfaction. I reluctantly handed my best friend to Skylar. "I hope you choke."
Skylar grinned even though sadness radiated from his eyes. "I just might." That made me gulp down my regret. Why would I say that to Skylar?
Just then the large black door opened and slim woman about 5'7 stood smiling. She had pearlique lips, fair hair that layed gently on her shoulders, and eden green eyes. This woman was breath taking. "You must be the Dae family! Welcome!" My jaw dropped when I spotted the tongue piercing, no one else noticed. I grinned. "You must be Alexandra?"
Extending her hand towards me I shook it. "Call me Alex please."
She grinned. "Of course Alex. My names Rickie Desiree and I'm the head of Angel Recovery, now I must ask you this, do you have any sharp objects that may be used as weapons?"
I looked at Skylar but he seemed to entranced in Rickie to have heard the question. "No. Sky..my Dad took my razor."
Rickie seemed pleased with the answer. "Alright now that we covered sharp weapons me and your parents have some last minute paper work to fill out. In the mean time you will be getting a tour from one of my finest students, Dina Mira. Dina should be here shortly but in the mean while, come in!" Ushering my parents and Vi inside I dragged my feet as slowly as possibly. The hound nipped at my ankle which shoved me inside. Rickie shut the door.
"So is this place full of suicidal freaks?" My eyes checked out my situation. All that was in the foyer was a few couches, an old tv, a pop machine, and a mahogany coffee table. A larger chandelier hung from the ceiling just above a winding staircase.
Rickie laughed. "Suicidal? Maybe but definetly not freaks."
Phebe grabbed my shoulder and leaned into my ear. "Knock it off and be polite. Don't forget your going to be staying here for a year or more so better start feeling at home."
I yanked away. "How many of us are here anyways?" I heard a creak from somewhere upstairs followed with hushed whispers.
"Angel Recovery can only hold a maximum of ten students. Most parents who drop of their teens here believe that their child only has minor problems. If the teen is too troubled for us, we send them to another recovery center in Washington." Me minor problems? Ha! What was Rickie? A under cover agent? Looking over her I decided she was. She was wearing a black blouse with grey sweats.
Vi looked around in disgust. "Do they have their own showers here? Or do the have to shower in groups?"
Rickie looked offended. "Of course the students receive their own bathrooms and receive a schedule when they can wash clothes." Rickie looked behind me at the stairs. "Dina! I thought you wouldn't make it!"
I turned around. A girl with white hair (real not dyed) down to her waist came striding down the stairs. She had a bright amethyst colored eyes and pouty lips, she was tall too, about 5'8. She wore a flowing white skirt (past the knee) and what looked like a vintage lace bohemian shirt. It was a light blue and her sandals were the color of the sun. "Alexandra, I mean Alex, meet Dina."
Dina drifted towards me and took me in. What did she see? Some suicide freak with too blonde of hair wearing a Falling in Reverse shirt and red skinny jeans? Did she think I was wierd for my grey eyes and purple hair underneath my blonde hair? Dina didn't speak.
Waving I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She had a gorgeous heart shaped face and her eyes were large and welcoming. "Hey."
Dina smiled. "Hi, nice to meet you Alexandra or do you want me to call you Alex?" Her voice was so soft-spoken I almost felt safe with her. Almost.
"Alex will work." We both smiled. Phebe took Skylars hand and whispered something into his ear.
"Is your hair naturally white?" Vi approached Dina hesitantly.
Dina grabbed her hair. "It's natural, I'm lucky because very few humans have natural white hair. Why? Do you like it?"
Vi's face lit up. "Like it? I love it! Mom can I dye my hair white!" Phebe laughed. "Woah! Are your eyes naturally purple too?"
Dina nodded. "Of course, nothing on me is artificial besides my clothing."
Vi woahed once more before taking her spot besides Phebe. Rickie turned towards me and Dina. "Dina go show Alex around and to meet the other students. Mr. and Mrs.Dae, follow me." Skylar and Phebe began to follow Rickie leaving Vi to trail behind them.
Dina sighed and looked at me. "What got you thrown in here anyways?" Her eyes bore into mine, they seemed to look right through me as if she were looking for an answer herself.
"Well, I tried to overdose myself on my Dads pain meds. Once that didn't work I tried hanging myself but Vi, my little sister, came home early and called the cops. What got me here though was I tried to drown myself in my swimming pool, my parents broke and now I'm here."
Dina shook her head. "Rookie."
My face flamed. "Well what did you do that was so bad!"
Dina looked down. "I tried to electrocute myself which was a fail so I jumped off a two story building. I've been here for a few years now so this is home. You'll get used to it." Clapping her hands together I realized she was right, how she tried to go WAS worse than my attempts. "Ready for the tour?"
Glancing down the hall my parents had went I sighed. "I am going to be here for a year or more so why not?"
Dina grinned." Perfect. First I'll show you to your room, then mine and everyone elses. Afterwards I'll give you a brief tour of the kitchen and the game room. Got it?" Shouts from upstairs made me look up.
"Is everyone else up there?" I craned my head around the stairs.
"Yes, everyone else is upstairs in the game room. Come on now!" Taking my hand I realized how soft and tender her hold was.
"Alright! Wait a second!" Giggling she towed me upstairs nearly causing me to trip on someones backpack.
Dina stopped me infront of red door that had 'Alex' in a deep blue font. "This-" Dina reached forward and opened the door. "is your room."
Taking a leap forward I held my breath. The room was huge! There was a queen size bed with red silk sheets in the corner beneath the window, a small black desk was in the opposite corner with a lava lamp. "This is crazy!" The carpet was shaggy and black, a Asking Alexandria and Pierce the Veil poster hung on opposite walls with dark blue bean bag chairs beneath it. On the desk was a lap top with a few cds beside it. "How did the know I wanted my room to look like this?"
Dina shrugged. "Rickie knows what her students like." Giving me a few more minutes she finally called me over. "We still have so much ground to cover!" Once again she grabbed my hand and towed me down the hall. "Ok this here is my room." Dinas door was lavendar colored with her name written in white cursive. Slowly she opened the door for me.
Peering in I gasped. Everything in her room was purple. Purple sheets, carpet, wallpaper, desk, lap top, lamp, curtains, I felt like I was in a cup full of grape juice. "I see you like purple." Looking around I a painting of a female angel with large wings wrapped around the girl, she looked like Dina. "Who made this?"
Dina smiled. "Samax, he made it for my birthday last year."
"Samax?" I turned away from the painting and slowly advanced towards the door.
"Yeah, he's one of the students." I nodded. "Ready to meet the gang?"
My hands trembled slightly. Where's my razor when I need it? "Sure."
Dina began leading the way. We went down the long halls and the noise got louder. Dina glanced at me before placing her hand on the silver nob of a giant door. "Some of the people in here are harder get along with. Watch out for the ones with the piercings, they're trouble makers." Just my cup of tea.
Nodding my eyes fell upon Dinas necklace. It was a clear cross with golden chain, inside it was water. "Nice necklace."
Dina grabbed the necklace and traced it. "Thanks it-" Looking at me she scowled. "Quite stalling!" Taking my hand for the third time today, Dina opened the door, almost instantly all the noise ceased.
A male sitting on an old leather couch with pale blonde hair and a dark brown streak across his eyes grinned with his downturned lips. He was about 6'4 and had...black eyes? He looked menacing, that's when I noticed his eyebrow piercing. He was a trouble maker. "Hey look guys," The boy glanced over his shoulder before resuming staring at me "we got fresh meat."
Dina frowned. "Donovan shut up and come over here."
Donovan rose from the couch, he was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt with black sweats. In less then three strides he was infront of us. "Hey, my names Donovan Banshee and I'm your new crush." He winked.
Oh, so he was cocky! I hate cocky guys. "No, more like your just a bump in the middle of my road."
His smile got bigger. "Ooo Rickie finally got us a fiesty one, I think you all know what group she's joining."
Dina made a noise of disaproval. "Hardly, just because she..oh nevermind. Alex, let me introduce you to the rest of the students here. Over there at the ping pong table is Nefta Morana and Azrael Castle." Nefta was a female with gorgeous auburn hair that fell to her shoulders in perfect waves. She gave me a smile and her jade green eyes seemed to shine. She had full lips and stood at about 5'7.
Nefta waved. "Hey Alex, welcome to Angel Recovery." Nefta had on a white sundress that was past the knees and white sandals.
"Thanks." Azrael had brown hair that swooped across his eye. The eye I saw was gold color that seemed to burn straight to my core, he was 6'2 at the least with adorable pouty lips. He was wearing white gym shorts and a blue t-shirt.
Azrael nodded his head at me. "Welcome Alexandra, if you need any help please talke to me or Nefta."
"Alright thanks." I smiled back cautiously. "Who's that?" I pointed to a male who was leaning against the wall. He had shaggy blonde hair that went to his ears and had milky colored eyes. He was 6'1 with thin lips and a chiseled face. He was sketching furiously and didn't acknowledge my pressence.
Dinas features seemed to soften when she noticed who I was asking about. "That's Samax Knight." Samax continued to draw, his milky eyes stared at nothing in particular. "Samax, Alexandra is here." Nothing. "The one you've been drawing?" His fingers stopped.
Slowly he raised his head from the paper. "Alexandra?"
Dina acted as if she were talking to an infant. "Yes, Alexandra."
Samax smiled and walked over to where we were. His eyes seemed to scan the area but not process what he was looking at. "Alex I'm very excited that you're here!" His voice was fruity, deep and welcoming.
"Thanks." He was a cutie alright, wouldn't mind kissing those lips. My cheeks flamed at the thought. Samax reached out for my hand but ended up grabbing my shoulder. "Are you alright?" I leaned forward and my lips hovered near his.
"Yes it's just that, well I'm-" His milky eyes searched for the right words.
"Samax is blind." A honeyed voice interupted. I turned to find a girl with red hair that went to her hips with a black streak on the side. She had white eyes that seemed oddly like cats and pouty lips the color of embers. This girl also had angel bites that were black like obsidian. She was 5'9 and wore a short jean skirt and red tube top.
Samax seemed to flinch. "I was telling her that you didn't need to-"
The girl cut him off again. "Just SHUT UP will you? You've been talking about Alex since Satan knows when." She flicked her eyes to me. "I don't see what could be so special about her, she looks like a nobody. Should have tooken her life the right way."
My hands began to itch which meant someone was going to get hit. "What gives you the right to be such a bitch?" I took a step forward and Samax grabbed my hand.
A small tear seemed to have formed in his eye. "Alex, please don't."
The girl laughed. "Awe look at that! Two freaks falling in love, makes me want to throw up." Oh how I just wanted to pull out her little angel bites.
Nefta seemed to dance over and stood between me and the girl who was going to get her face beat in. "Phoenix, stop this before things get out of hand." Neftas voice was silvery, light and pleasant.
Phoenix leaned in towards Nefta. "Maybe I want this to get out of hand."
I'm done. Yanking out of Samax's hold I threw my fist at Phoenix, the good thing was that she wasn't expecting it so I got her square in the jaw. "Mess with my friends again and I will kill you." Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I watched Phoenix wipe at her bloodied mouth.
Samax shook his head. "Alex, you didn't have to-"
I turned around. "Well I did didn't I? I'm not letting anyone here pick you or anyone else I care about. Got it?" I directed the last part to Phoenix.
"You're going to regret that." With her cat eyes as white as snow, she picked herself up and barged out of the room.
On her way out I whispered, "No I'm not, you're going to regret not taking your own useless life, now I have to finish it." That got me flipped off.
Dina sighed. "That really isn't a good way to start things off."
I shrugged. "She got what was coming to her. What's her name again."
Nefta turned from the door and retreated to Azraels side. "Phoenix Nicor, she's been here the longest. Ten years I think." Ten years! Holy crap!
Samax slowly approached me. "Thank you and if you need anything, please talk to me first."
I nodded. "Sounds good, maybe you can finish the tour instead of Dina?"
Dina shook her head. "No because-"
"I'm blind." Samax finished for her.
Dina looked sorry for Samax, Samax just seemed disapointed. "So? That doesn't make you any different from the rest of us."
Azrael smiled. When he spoke it sounded smoky, or mysterious. "I think we should let Samax finish the tour. He knows this place like he knows his pencil." Nefta shook her head at the poor comparison.
Dina shrugged. "Fine, but first I need to finish introducing her to everyone." Turning to me she sighed. "Now those two over there are Kali Marax and Kione Adze." I looked in the directions Dinas eyes were pointed and looked at the two leaning against a large clock.
The girl had short black hair with red highlights and red eyes, and just like Phoenix, they looked like that of a cats. She was 5'5 and had thin lips with a black bridge piercing (a piercing on the nose). "Welcome to Hell." Her voice was shrill and gave me a head ache.
"I'm guessing you're Kali?" Kali was a girl name right?
"Are you stupid? Of course I'm Kali." Snap, crackle, and pop. Geesh.
Kione had short straigh blue hair with an white streak down the middle. He was 6'3 and had silver eyes with snake bites. His lips were sharp and his eyes reminded me of a reptiles. "I hope you hate every last minute here." He spoke as if he were dead.
I cringed. "Thank you?" My eyes quickly tore away from his gaze. Just looking at Kione made my skin crawl. It was just something about the way he carried himself that scared me yet...it intrigued me.
"Would you like me to finish giving you the tour?" Samax took a hesitant step towards me as if he were scared to get too close. It was then that I noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt and I got to see all of his chiseled chest and honey colored skin that..."Alex?" My eyes pulled away from his chest.
"Oh yeah. Lead on." Samax smiled and exited the door with confidence in his stride. Nice. "So where's your shirt?" Might as well ask now.
Samax paused and chuckled a deep and hearty laugh. "Am I distracting you?"
I blushed. "Of course not!" Samax began to walk forward. I turned around and waved at Nefta, Azrael, and Dina who were resuming their ping pong game. "Nice to meet you guys!"
Nefta waved absent mindedly and Dina smiled. "See you girly!" I was beginning to really like Dina.
"Alex, are you coming?"
I turned away from Dina to find Samax resting on the wall with his sketch book in hand. "Yeah just needed to say bye to Dina and the crew."
Samax grinned. "It's alright. Now let me show you to the meal room." Following closely behind him the large oak doors shut behind us with a grunt. Samax lead me down a long flight of stairs and then turned down a low lit hallway. My eyes strained to see where we were when Samax stopped. I ran into his back which hardly budged him. This guy was a rock! "Through these doors is where we eat each meal. You are required to be down for breakfast at 8:30. We get here for lunch at 1:15 and then dinner is at 7:00."
"Why is dinner so late?" I squinted in his direction and reached aimlessly for something to help stabalize myself. I was getting dizzy in this tiny space, how deep under were we? Miles? Only a few feet?
"Alexandra are you alright? You aren't breathing." His voice was filled with concern. I wasn't breathing? Wait, how do you breath again? In and out right?
Forcing myself to take a deep breath of the air my lungs felt as if they were burning. My vision began to blur and my legs felt like rubber. "Samax.." I couldn't speak, my tongue was as dry as the desert.
As I was about to fall I felt strong hands grip my arm. "Lets get you out of here." My eyes closed and I was being lifted. How embarassing, did I really just pass out with someone blind to carry me upstairs. I felt myself shake at the thought. "It's fine, I got you. I promise I won't drop you, trust me." I did.
I listened to the pattering of his foot steps and the sound of his quick shallow breaths, or were those mine. "Deep breathes Alex, don't do quick choppy one." I guess it was me then. I felt Samax push open a door and pure air filled my throat and lungs.
"What the hell did you do Samax!" The voice was husky and low.
"Donovan, prop open her bedroom door for me." Samax commanded Donovan.
"Don't kill the new girl, we need her alive." What was that supposed to mean?
"She's fine, she must be claustrophobic. When I took her downstairs to the kitchen she passed out." Samax stopped moving. "How many paces to her room?"
"Ten strides." Donovans voice seemed to get closer. "Do you want me to take her?"
Samax tensed. "I don't think-"
"Just give her to me." Then I was in someone elses arms. "Trust me next time."
"I will never trust those from the Night." Samax spit these words with control and venom in each word.
"This girl could mean life or death for this-" Then all was quiet. Finish! Please finish Donovan!
"I think she can hear us." Samax's voice was only a whisper.
"We stop this conversation here." Crap.
My head was curled against Donovans chest and I listend to the beat of his heart. Thump thump, thump thump, thump thump. "Sweet dreams princess." Donovan carefully layed me on my bed, the velvet sheets wrapped me in a comforting embrace.
"Samax?" I pushed myself to try and speak with him. I wish I could open my eyes and see him, the best I could do was just imagine his sandy hair and chiseled chest...
"Alex? What is it?" His breath was suddenly hot on my cheek.
"I'm sorry for...fainting...you should have..." Left me.
"I would never have left you, Alex do you understand the impact you have on me?" I have an impact on him?! More like he makes my knees go weak! Well him and Donovan. "Pick the right team and we can be together for eternity." Wait what?
I'm not sure if I just heard him correctly. My mind was playing tricks on me, I mean I couldn't even feel my hands! Eternity? Right team? "Sleep, we'll come wake you for dinner."
I listened to his retreated footsteps and sighed to myself. Today has been one crazy roller coaster. I really wish Darrock were here, what would he say if he saw me with Samax? Would he feel as if I were abandoning him for an imposter? Who cares, I just need five minutes of sleep...
"My baby! Is she alright! She looks like a corpse!" Nevermind sleep.
"I assure Mrs.Dae that your daughter is quiet alright. My student Samax was giving her a tour of the meal room and she seems to have passed out." Rickies modulated voice rang in my ears.
"Wait." Phebe paused. "How deep below is this kitchen?" What was Phebe getting at?
"Maybe a couple hundred of feet below why?" Rickie sounded about as intrigued as I did.
"Alex is claustrophobic and achluophobic." Huh? I know what claustrophobic is but achluophobic? Is that a fear of long words? I think I may have that.
"Oh achluophobia, one of our students, Dina, had the same issue until Samax convinced her theres nothing to be afraid of." Rickie walked towards my bed. "Your daughter will overcome her fear or darkness and confinement fairly soon."
My scared of the dark? Hardly! I mean, so what if I was in a dark and tiny space and I fainted? That can't mean anything! "Oh Nefta! Mrs. and Mr.Dae, meet Nefta Morana. Nefta introduce yourself."
"Hello Mrs.Dae and Mr.Dae, I'm glad to meet the parents of such a student as Alex. I hope she enjoys her stay here at Angel Recovery." I knew she was smiling her award winning smile.
"Alex sucks, make her time here suck." Vi was with them, I could tell cause her voice made my head ache.
"I overheard that Alex is afraid of the darkness?" Why would Nefta care?
"Well yes our daughter was diagnosed like that some time last year. May I ask why you wanted to know?" Skylar was getting over protective. Great, just don't embarass me.
"Well if she were as scared of the dark as you say she is, then how can she sleep so peacefully?" Take that Skylar!
"It isn't as severe as some cases they have seen. You can only tell when she is in darkness and is fully conscious." Dang that's true, I hate being outside at night. I feel like my lungs are restricting and my muscles go weak.
"I better not over stay my welcome. Have a wonderful day and blessed be to your family." I felt sadness as I listened to Nefta leave me.
"We best be on our way too. When Alex wakes up have her give us a call." Skylar sounded a bit disapointed that I wasn't awake to see them off.
"Of course Mr.Dae, wouldn't do anything less. Have a safe trip back home." The exchanged a few more words and then my room was silent. I was alone...again.
I wonder what Darrock is doing right now. Is he outside playing with Thomas and talking about how he hopes his girlfriend will be like his older sister? Darrock told me before I left "When I get a girlfriend, I hope she looks as pretty as you do." How I responded "Darrock, you deserve someone prettier than me, you deserve your own little piece of Heaven." Darrock had smiled widely and kissed my cheek. I miss him now, why couldn't I have seen him?
Do my parents not get the hurt that I go through each and every single day I sat in my room by myself crying? Did they not hear the hurt in my voice when I spoke about my old boyfriend Ethan? Why were they blind to the bruises that had covered my arms and face? I've learned to realize that you are always alone, nobody can save you but yourself. Darrock made me hope that there are some good things in this Hell we call life. Now I'm not so sure.
My parents dumped me here the first chance they got. I remember when I found out I was coming here, it was a rainy day and I had was just finishing my Junior year at Evening Rose High School and I was walking home with Ethan. "Babe, I think it's time we take things up a notch." I looked at Ethan, his golden brown hair looked like a mop that day, he forgot to comb it. His plain hazel eyes were green that day from his black shirt that hung loosely on him.
I never truly loved Ethan, he was just one of those "in the moment" kind of things. He had asked me out when he found me alone in the library one day, why I said yes puzzled me and my family. Ethan isn't really the brightest flashlight at Walmart but he was faithful. The only downside of him being faithful was that when he caught me even glancing at another guy I would come stumbling home with a black eye. My parent were too blind to notice though. "What do you mean take it up a notch?" I was as confused then as I am now.
"I think we should move in together." His eyes lit up and his chapped lips turned into a smile. His breath smelled like Patrone and Vodka, gross.
"Oh, I'm not sure if that's possible right now..." I turned away and stared straight ahead, what he did next was predictable.
"You've been with another guy haven't you! I knew you were whore since I met you!" Then he slapped me.
I reeled backwards with my hand on my right cheek. "Ethan-"
Ethan just advanced on me quicker than I could get my mind straight, he grabbed me by my hair. "You get what you deserve you slut." Each word had poison an a bit of sadness in them. With a yank of his arm I flew forward and my face met the side of a white Cadillac. Stars danced in front of my eyes and the feeling of something warm trickled across my lips.
I sank against the side of the car and watched as he walked off without any remorse. That was the last time I cried, now I've just become a angry person who always wants to punch someones face in.
That night when I finally made it home my parents were sitting at the kitchen table which was the color of soot. "You're finally home, we need to talk." I didn't listen, I pushed past them with a plan. I knew that if I swallowed enough water while I was under, I could probably drown myself. "Alexandra, get back here!"
I walked past Vi and Darrock who were playing Apples to Apples in the small living room, past the family photos that hung in the hallways. Once I arrived in front of the glass screen door, I pulled it open and began to trudge to the edge of our oval shaped pool. I dropped my torn blue book bag on the ground and lowered myself into the pool. My clothes began to feel heavier and the frigid tempature made me shiver, the rain poured harder on me.
I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and then I grabbed the pool cover and pulled it over me. I was instantly shoved beneath below the water. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to lift the pool cover off without outside help. I opened my mouth and invited the clear blue liquid to come and make home in my lungs.
Next thing I know my eyes began to blur and my lungs were burning. My parents were screaming somewhere trying to life the pool cover. Flashes of Vi and Darrock flashed before my eyes, when we had went camping up at Glacier and the time we had raised a little black sheep names Jay. Then I was out like a light, nothing more.
When my eyes opened again I had hoped I would be somewhere off in the clouds facing the judgment of some greater being, nope. When my eyes opened I was in a hard hospital bed with nurses shuffling around me shaking their heads at me. Phebe was crying in a waiting chair with Skylar holding her tightly. Darrock was outside with Vi buying a soda so that he wouldn't have to see all the IV's attached to me.
Next thing I knew I was asleep again. When I woke up my parents were signing papers to send me to Angel Recovery which was "A safe enviroment where your teen can recover and make friends while finishing school." Now look where I am, a friggin suicide house.
Sighing I rolled onto my side and froze. There was two voices outside my door, I couldn't tell who it was but I could hear what they were talking about. "She will pick Night no matter what those God freaks assume, she can't resist evil." I tried to quiet my breathing.
"We need to gain her trust though first, otherwise we won't get anywhere. What do you think the God freaks will say about all the pollution in our streams." The voice laughed.
"Probably lay an egg. I can't wait to rub our victory in there little angelic faces, I will enjoy every last pain from these mortals." These mortals? They're mortals too!
"Celestial Nightmare is so close to awakening I feel it." Silence.
"Then God will realize his mistake. He should have never banished us with the Morning Star." The other voice mumbled in agreement. "Soon those Light creatures will realize that we have already won."
"Wait." The talking haulted.
"What is it?" It was barely a whisper and I struggled to listen.
"Samax and Dina." A sound like a hiss made me shiver. "Lets get out of here." Their footsteps echoed down the hall. I rolled on my back and tried to absorb what I heard which wasn't much. Ligh creatures? Morning Star? What the heck is Celestial Nightmare? My door creaked open and my breath haulted.
"She's sleeping." It was Dina.
"No she's not, watch. Alex?" Samax's voice made my toes curl and butterflies start in my stomach. "I know you can hear me, now just open your eyes." How did he know they were closed?
Slowly I opened my eyes. Samax was only a few inches away from me, a grin plastered on his flawless face. Dina stood behind him with a soda in her left hand and some chips in the other. "Oh look, she is awake after all. What's up beautiful?" Dina grinned like a menace.
I shook my head. "No, you and Nefta are beautiful, I'm cute." My mouth felt dry and my fingers seemed as if I hadn't used them in God knows when.
Samax chuckled. "Don't underestimate yourself Angel, I'm sure if Dina calls you beautiful then you are. No use in arguing."
There goes my cheeks again. I turned away and pretended to study my wall, Dina wasn't having it.
"You're blushing aren't you? Awe how cute, Samax has a little play mate now." My head snapped around to find Samax blushing and Dina slurping on her soda.
"I hope you choke on that." I laughed at the end just to show her I didn't mean it.
"I just might." She smiled but my blood froze cold. That was exactly what Skylar said when I had told him to choke. Dina caught my far away gaze. "You alright?"
Samax turned his milky eyes to me. "Alex, are you crying?"
Was I? Lifting my hand to my cheek I felt the dampness of my tears and quickly tried to shake them away. Why was I crying? Who knows but just get rid of it. With one fast movement I grabbed the blankets and wiped at my eyes. "I'm fine." My voice came out trembling.
Dina took a step forward then stopped. "Dinner!" A voice screamed from down the hall. I watched as Dina ran her fingers through her hair before shrugging. "Coming?"
Nodding I stood up. My sweater was ruffled and my hair looked like it had survived through a tornado. Great. "Yeah sure, you coming Samax?" I ran my finger through my hair to untangle it.
"Yes but, will you be fine? Last time we went downstairs you passed out." His face was creased with worry.
"Don't worry about me." I smiled, whether it was to reassure Samax and Dina or if I was fooling myself, I wouldn't know.
"Good lets get down stairs before Kali takes my seat again." Dina didn't wait and was off down the hall before Samax had even reached my side.
"Would you like me to show you to the kitchen again?"
"Yeah, I'll try not to faint this time." Samax smiled at me and I shoved his chest. "Don't you look at me like that."
"How am I looking at you Alex? I wouldn't know." His smile fell. Ouch.
Gulping I laughed nervously. "Show me the way."
Samax hestitated only for a mere second before he began to walk down the hall. He arrived in front of a open stair well and we began to descend downward. My chest began to tighten. Come on Alex you can do this! "How much further?"
"Just a bit more actually." We stopped at the bottom of the stairs and he took off down a long low lit hall. My lungs constricted. Don't be a baby. "Samax?"
The footsteps stopped. "Are you okay?"
I shook my head. "Yes." What the hell! No you are not okay! If you pass out again Samax can't catch your sorry as-
"Just follow my voice, we're so close now." Tears filled my eyes and I was glad he couldn't see them slide down my cheeks and rest on my lips.
"O-okay." Now I was stuttering, my breaths became shallow and quick. The lighting seemed to stop completely and I began to tremble. "Why i-i-s it so da-da-dark?" My legs gave out. I land on the ground, my hands didn't catch me and my face met the floor with a loud thwack.
"Alex! Are you alright!" Now Samax sounded panicked, fabulous.
I felt something warm trickle from my forehead, it didn't hurt but the right side of my face did. I could hardly see Samax who stood in front of a door where warm light flowed from it. I began to slowly crawl towards it. Every part of me ached. "Alexandra! Where are you!" His voice boomed into the hall. I wish I could have answere but my jaw felt swollen and I didn't dare try to open it.
My fingers clawed into the ground as I made my way to the door. The sound of forks scraping on plates and light chatter made me inwardly sigh. I made it. I reached my hand out and grabbed Samax's ankle. "Alex?" Samax slowly bent down, his hands searched the ground until they met face. "Oh no." I looked up at him, a stray angry tear bloomed in his eye. Cupping my face in his hands he looked as if he were going to kiss me but then Kali appeared before us with her black hair tied back in a ponytail.
She saw Samax and looked disgusted but when her gaze fell upon me her mouth dropped open. "Donovan! Alex's hurt!" Her hand hesitantly reached for me and stopped.
Donovan appeared in the doorway with a worry written all over it. "Alex, what the hell happened?"
Samax pulled away from me and looked at Donovan. "She's claustrophobic and achluophobic, she tried to make it down here without my help and-"
Donovan didn't wait to hear the rest of the story. He bent down and carefully lifted me in his arms. "I'll get her into the kitchen, maybe she'll feel better in there." Without a second glance at Samax he turned and walked into the kitchen. I swear I heard Samax mumble something about being sorry when the bright lights hit my eyes. I squinted against them and tried to see what it looked like. Nothing interesting, just a big white room with sever black tables scattered around the room. Nefta, Azrael, and Dina were at one table while Kali, Phoenix, and Kione were at another.
Once Dina spotted me she was out of her chair at once. "Oh my God Alex! What happened?"
I opened my mouth but was greeted with a brutal stinging pain, I closed my mouth. "She passed out again on her way here with blind boy."
Dina scowled. "His name's Samax so learn it." Her eyes looked into mine. "It's okay honey, we'll take care of you." Her smile was forced but I was pleased with the effort.
"Samax?" I croaked under my breath trying not to hurt my jaw.
Donovan sighed. "He's right next to you." Was that jealousy I saw? I couldn't tell because it gone just as quick as it had came.
I slowly adjusted my head to find Samax following closely to Donovans heels. His eyes gleamed with something I didn't like, regret. "Not..your..fault." My jaw buzzed, I had opened my mouth too far.
"Don't talk, you're just hurting your jaw more." Donovan snapped. Meow.
"Somebody find Rickie or one of the teachers please!" Dina yelled to nobody in particular.
"I'm on it!" Nefta jumped out of her seat and raced out of the room.
"Slut got what she deserved." My eyes flicked over to where Phoenix sat with a fan in her hand. Donovan glared menacingly towards her. "Just saying." She broke eye contact and returned to a brown blob on her tray. Meatloaf?
"Ms.Sky she just passed out because she's claustrophobic and-" Movement to my right made me strain to see who it was. Nefta was with a woman about 5'6" with dark red hair and pacific blue eyes. She had small cupid lips and her hair tumbled down around her in waves. I noticed her ears were pierced conch style.
The woman assesed me with great interest. "Hello Alexandra, my names Taisie Sky. I'm your math teacher and I'm horribly sorry we had to meet on such miserable terms but you seem to need something. Students, gather round." Everyone in the cafeteria began to huddle around my limp body in Donovans arms. "See how her face is pasty white? To help with this situation we must get some fluids into her. Does anyone have water that I may borrow?" Kiones hand slipped through the sea of bodies and gave Taisie a water bottle half full.
Taisie unscrewed the lid and looked down at me. "Can you open your mouth?" I nodded my head and she motioned for me to do so. It felt as if my entire lower jaw was about to fall right off my face. Taisie quickly place the bottle in my mouth and commanded me to drink. I didn't hesitate. Before long all the water was gone and I felt ten times better.
"By the by, next time you decide to land on your face you may want to consider doing it where there is carpet present." Kali scowled at Phoenixs outburst but quickly dismissed it when Kione placed his arm around her waist.
"Thank you so much Ms.Sky." Nefta and Dina bowed slightly.
"Call me Taisie girls, you know how much you both mean to me." Taisie placed her lips on the top of there heads. "God bless you two." With a smile the size of the moon, Taisie waved Dina and Nefta off before heading out.
Donovan didn't even seem winded by carrying my immense weight. My curiousity got the better of me. "How can you hold me for so long?" My voice was hardly more than a whisper but he seemed to have heard me crystal clear.
"There's a gym here that most of us use. I guess I've gotten good at handling varied sizes to handle you." I scowled. Was that some fat joke? "I'm not calling you fat or anything." He grinned at me as if he had read my mind.