A Response to A Friend

Response to Joyce

Joyce, I grew up in the south 62 years ago.  I not only saw those awful signs, they applied to me.  I am a great lover of ice cream, and one of my most vivid memories is going into the drug store where they sold ice cream and ordering a scoop of butter pecan.  The person was nice, but told me, I had go back outside to the window on the back to place my order.  That's where "Colored Folks" placed their orders.

I could not wait to get home to tell my Mother what had happened to me, and how upset I was for being turned away from the counter, but more so because I did not get my Butter pecan ice cream.  First of all, my Mother was furious that I had gone in there in the first place.  Secondly, she was even more angry that I had ventured down town because of what could have happened to me for "doing something so stupid!"

A few years later, I actually got sent away from home to live with my cousin 28 miles away, at the age of 14 for "talking back" to a young white boy who called my Mother by her first name, and "reprimanded" her for calling him by his first name without saying mister.  He was only twelve, and she was well over forty!  To boot, she had been his "Nanny" at one point in time.  True story.

Living in the south in the 40ties and 50tiesand 60ties was no joke, and no laughing matter.

For those who have not experienced it or have forgotten should visit some of the more rural places in Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi today for a refresher course.  We have come a long ways in equalizing our coexistence here in America, but we still have a very long way to go.

President Obama symbolizes the growth and opportunity that America can afford to all.  He helps a person like me believe that America is changing for the better, even when I see all of the violence in our inner cities. 

Some would think that it was just about the signs, the cotton fields and the tobacco, but it is more. It is about equal pay for equal work.  It is about being acknowledged for your contributions to America and your accomplishments as a person not a color.

Yes, January 20, 2009 was an exceptionally important day in American history, but I hope it was not the end of our striving for a better America here and abroad.  This is my Country, and I am PROUD of it, and I KNOW we as a people have a long way to go.

But, Joyce, I learned to smile.  I learned to love for real.  I also learned to forgive -- not forget -- but to honestly forgive.  I learned to be strong and to work for justice and the rights of others. I learned politics and the power of politics, and that through politics I could really change things if I did NOT allow myself to be bought for a price.

My religious freedom is important to me.  I don't want to take God out of the equation.  I do not believe that is progress.  I believe in marriage between a man and a woman, but I am alright with other people's decisions if they do not negatively impact on the majority of Americans.  Same sex marriage is a choice, one that America allows you to make, but does not make me like it.

My standards have NOT allowed me to go far in the political world, but I am happy in my little municipality that once called my husband and I little monkeys because we were the only Blacks in attendance at one of their meetings.  Now, many of them have eaten at my table, contributed to my campaign, and cast their vote for me at least ten times over the course of my political career.  AND, if the truth be told, will probably re-elect me in May 2009.

So, what is my story?  One of hardship, yes, but I bet you had some too.  One of love, boy you surely will not grow if someone doesn't love you unconditionally.  My Mother did that for me, and I am sure your family provided you with the same.  One of struggle, for sure, but then anything worth having is worth struggling for and working even harder.  One of success, yeah, I can claim that too.  I have a BS and completed two masters' programs; put four children through college as a single parent; all four are married and living in their own homes with their children, AND, attend church regularly; sixteen grandchildren ranging from eight months to 21 years of age!

Are you smiling yet?  Hell you should be laughing out loud.  I am.  I actually survived that crap, and look at me now. 

My Mother used to say if it does not kill you, you'll be alright, and it will make you strong.  Someone may think that you are second class, but it is up to you to prove them right!

So my friend, don't let this world get in your way or start you to feeling sorry for me.  I AM OKAY!  I have learned how to bend like a good old tree in a mighty wind storm, and because of that, I have lived to see today.  I have met friends like you, and others before you who reached out and helped me to stand, and to stand tall.

So laugh with me as Mr. President Barack Obama takes office in these here United States!