A woman's need to reinvent herself

A woman’s Need to reinvent herself

After a break up women feel the need to look at themselves and say: “Hmm, I will cut my hair and dye it, I will get a tattoo, I will lose that much needed 20 lbs I always wanted to lose”. Others go to extremes to the point of having plastic surgeries and others, well; others just are who they are, with or without someone.

I have a couple of friends that were in long relationships. Every reason for a break-up differs but the outcome is the same.

They start going out, they act wild. I asked one of my friends the reason behind it, she responded "I need to make up for lost time" "I have to party because I never did" "I have to meet other men because I only been one for so long" "I need to look good if I want to go out"

Which its okay, I can understand the reasons behind it. What get’s to me is the need to act like they are hot stuff around close friends and family. There should be no pretending to be someone you are not. People never forget the way you were before.

I invited my long time friend to my family's bbq. As we usually do, we gather around and have a good time. My friend showed up to my house as if she was going to a club. Again, that is still okay with me. What I hate is the comments. She would say " Ugh, I don't know why I'm here, I don't want to be around kids" " I look so different right?, I look good now". Comments are so unnecessary.. We are friends, we are not strangers, you cannot tell me that is the new you because it is not.

This friend was in a abusive relationship and has two kids she is currently neglecting because as she puts it "Its her time right now". Again with the comments. We are women. We are mothers. That is our priority. We are beautiful without having to play pretend. Lets learn how to be better. Lets work on how to be stronger and be humble at the same time. Lets change our attitude towards the better. I am not against reinventing for a better you.

Maybe because I have never experienced what it is to be in an abusive relationship is the reason why I can’t understand what would drive a girl to undergo a make over after a relationship. I am not saying girls need to look bad, I am saying look great, feel great ALL the time. Don’t change your attitude with your friends, people don’t forget the person you were before.

I believe we have the ability to choose a boyfriend. We must look at their traits, behavior and their personality. I can’t blame a person for being abusive if she herself allows it. We all have the power to choose. We have the power to respect and demand respect.

The problem is, when they get into the next relationship they will end up exactly with the same version of their ex-boyfriend. The reason is simply because they took the time to reinvent their physical appearance but never took the time to think reinvent their way of thinking.