Screaming but only in expression

I was quiet my choice not by nature.
People passed me off as shy or simply thought I had no opinions of my own.
The truth is I burn with opinions. The speeches I have recited in my mind are profound and without fault.
I have mastered them leaving no room for debate or the trace of incompetence.
My name is Garrick Owen Dagan and this is my living hell.

My audience stared at me as if a flock of moronic sheep, it was as if they were deaf to all my words but were startled by the noise.
I have waited for my moment of glory and now that i have it i realise it means nothing, people are ignorant to their ignorance or they have chosen to ignore everything that inconveniences them.

I felt an eternal emptiness within me fuelled by a hatred, a hatred i had never before felt for my own kind but how, how were they so blind? Why was it that i could not be part of the unthinking majority? I felt an overwhelming temptation to destroy them, i felt that i would at any moment explode and engulf them all.

My body began to shake, it felt as though every fragment of my being was on the verge of setting alight. The sensation had flooded my mind and was set to massacre the people who stood in front of me.

Without thought or my permission words escaped me, for once they were without the soft tone people had grown accustomed to, my words were raw and i did not know them until they were expelled from me.

How does one describe in words the frustration.
Frustration that has seized the very existence of free thought.
Conjured up from a blistered mind you have falsely accuse life of having purpose.

When the once cold and potent realizations are forsaken, new strategy plungers out their ridged edges and they will cut you as the form alien ideas.
They will dominated your beliefs with strict and violent authority, for fear of madness you will cower away leavening the enraged quake of foreign images to rampage through your head
disqualifying any foreseeable solace.
Allow yourself to become acquainted with the idea, for though I doubt you could imagine
the severe harshness and therefore the severe importance of this testing ordeal, your once naïve and repetitive existence is coming to an abrupt end.

I ran. i ran as fast as my body would allow.

Was those words or just thoughts? i Was unsure, how was i to be sure?
My audience would pass me off as a mad man now. I am lost without them, driven to madness with them.