~My Sad Tale~

Well, how do i start? It all started 13 years ago. When i was born. You see, I was not meant to be born. And i wish i wasnt. Anyways, on March 27,2001, i had heart surgery. That must have been another sign of
god not wanting me to be here, but unfortunately i lived. Everyone was all so happy. So i heard. When i was only six years old my father went to a prison camp for being in the possesion of drugs or something
like that. My family and i were forced to move to North Carolina to be with him. We had to sell everything we had in order to get there. It was a hard time, but we survived through it.
You could say thats part of my depression now too. My dad and i used to have a great relationship, but when he got back from the camp that all had changed. I hardly wanted to speak to him... ever.
When we finally moved back to Tennessee i was in second grade. People made fun of me every single day. It got rediculous. They would say things like "Hey flatface! i will give you a mint if you
hide your face with a bag so i dont have to look at it all day!" My sister, Emily, had to beat up a few guys who bullied me constantly. my 2 other sisters were over 18 at the time so they would be charged
with assault over a minor. In fifth grade people started saying i was fat. Well, i only weighed 90 pounds at the time so i wouldnt particularly call that "fat." The summer of fifth grade my image really
got to me. I started covering up my stomach with my hands when i wore bikinis and haulter tops. I was really self consious. That summer i went to Florida with my best friend. We went out to dinner one
night and i got a salad. She kept telling me that i wasnt full. That i needed to eat some more. She finally started begging me like i was going to get blown away by the wind if i didnt start
eating. But i couldnt tell her why i wasnt eating. She would have freaked out. As a matter of fact, i couldnt tell anyone. i was alone.
Thats when i really started to get depression. It all went down hill fast. I went from being this happy smiling girl who held the world to this sad depressed girl who wouldnt get out of bed.
One day in 6th grade i had had enough! I didnt know how to express my feelings...so i cut. And after you cut once.. it pulls you in more. So i cut again. and again. Until my wrist was gushing blood.
I couldnt tell anyone. They all would think i was crazy. I was completely alone.
I started restricting what i ate and staying in my room every hour of the day. I would hardly talk and if i did it would be very silent. I stopped being afraid of monsters under my bed because i knew
where they were. They were inside of me.