The Little Trailer Park of Horrors

On the night of October 31, 2011, an extraordinary event occurred in the Walnut Creek Trailer Park in the small and insignificant hamlet of Clark’s Grove, Minnesota.

A trailer came to life.

At precisely 11:44 PM, an abandoned trailer at the south end of Mayfield Lane, winked open an aluminum window, exhaled a deep sigh and in every way, came alive.

The first thing it did was realize it was a trailer.

The second thing it did was realize it was hungry.

The third thing it did was wonder how a trailer satisfies its hunger.

It looked around.

To the west, it noticed a large trailer, not unlike itself, rocking vigorously on its cement footings. A shade, carelessly left open, revealed the cause of the commotion. Two very large people were strenuously humping up and down.

This trailer appeared to be anxious but not hungry.

After the pair stopped humping, one of them gave the other several little green squares and left. Now the trailer was no longer anxious, just weary, but still not hungry.

To the east was a smaller trailer. It's windows emitted a blue-white glow. A couple of people sat inside, transfixed by a phosphorescent square mounted on a wall.

This trailer appeared to be very happy and not at all hungry.

Our trailer continued to study the park and observe it's comings and goings and this is what it learned. Only the dark empty trailers were hungry but once they got people, their eyes glowed yellow with a warm light and some even purred.

Now he knew what he had to do.

But he also noticed something else. Occasionally, the trailers would spit out their people and become ravenously hungry. This confused him, so he continued to observe and learn.

Shortly after 3:00 AM, a pair of people worked their way through the park almost unnoticed. Creeping from home to the home, they peered in windows and tried doors. Occasionally, a trailer would eat them but would quickly spit them out.

It all seemed rather perplexing to our young trailer but the little guy was a quick learner. He realized that the trailers who got to eat the two had something they wanted. Like the big squares on the walls or the little squares of green because the pair always had these things when they emerged. So by the time they looked into his windows, our hungry little fellow made sure he had plenty of both scattered about.

“Holy crap!! Would'ya look at this score,” one of them exclaimed as he stuck his head in the trailer's mouth.

THHUUP!!

He got sucked in.

“What?” the other one said shorty before he too was sucked in.

THHUUP!!

Inside the trailer's stomach, the two banged around a lot, pounding on his lining and kicking his intestines. He began to understand why the other trailers spit them out - but despite the indigestion, having something inside him made him feel warm and good. His eyes glowed a soft yellow.

In due time, the entire edge of the earth glowed a warm yellow. People stirred, birds broke into song and a furry little thing leapt up on a porch.

The little thing held something in his mouth. After scurrying around a bit, he stopped, crack it open, ate the contents and spit out the shell.

“Ahhh, that's it,” the trailer thought to himself.

At 6:31 AM, following numerous calls to 911, red and blue squad lights strobed through the Walnut Creek Trailer Park and yellow tape cordoned off the area where the shells of two humans had been mysteriously spit into the street.

A large crowd gathered.

“Oh look,” the trailer whispered to himself, “more tasty peoples.”

His aluminum mouth creaked invitingly open.