Sunshine

sometimes I wonder
if time will ever recover
we can relive our best moments
our greatest downfalls
everything molds us into the shape we are
everything has an effect
some more so than others
I can try to speak about pain all day.
but If I cannot accept the challenges ahead of me
I wont ever break through my lows to get back to the high.

I am a dream catcher
a storm chaser
Its the thrill of the ride
not the destination.
Its ironic because I really dont enjoy rollercoaster.
but I cherish the emotional rides life brings me.
its ever changing. me so more than anyone else.
I definitely am living an adventure
sometimes I really cannot stand the constant movement
other days I cant wait to get back to the road

I am a kid with a few talents with little direction
I raised myself through my mistakes
absent parents chasing there acceptance
made me rebel and strive for fantasy
Ive been to insanity a few times
I came back with many stories to tell.
Now I just need someone to listen
I am a bard and I have many tales.
I wonder roads with meet greats and many farewells.
It all made me this person with these ideas
theories and philosophies talents and abilities
to wish upon stars and tell compelling experiences
Its all here. for I conjure every ounce of my emotions
makeing it possible to see what strangers go through

its amazing what you can find randomly in life
I am a nature lover and fall for beauty easily
flawless skin gives me weak knees
for mine bear scars and scabs from life
Its all a little intense at times
sometimes its a little bland
sometimes I wish things would pick up
other days slow down and shed tears in the pouring rain
I have danced the night away in the moonlight
cried in the storm to hide my tears
i am not afraid to say I have fears
but my biggest fear of all is fear itself

Its time for change. again.
I know when it comes
I feel it in my gut.
I am ready for it.
Cant say I always have been.
Maybe I should quit my job and find another one.
delete my contacts to connections to the drugs I love
Its a bright world and its about to get cold
I dont want to be snowed in.
my walls came and spoke to me last night

They said I am in a position of great accomplishments
but I got to keep myself healthy within.
its hard not to fall into saddness when your bed bares much sin
I roll over sometimes and see some of the people I have been with
laying next to me as they sleep soundly.
It makes me a little weary at times and other times lucky
that I had the chance to fall into some type of lovely heartache
the more my heart breaks the more I learn of the world
the more I see my dreams and I get closer to closer
with the girl I have not met yet

I wish to raise a child
share my stories of my world when I tuck them into bed
so I said I never would grow up
but this is a feeling I never thought I would have
I see some futures in my dreams I wish to experience
I see people friends and my blended family.

Have you every seen disney's ice age?
The sloth creates a family
with the most random of individuals
as they experience pain. pleasure and life lessons together
a family of this nature is what I truly treasure
blood meets water and bonds will last forever
as the adventure gets deeper and more emotional
as we grow up grow out and move on in the world.

with thoughts like this.
This concludes my year in the pouring rain.
The pain of hibernation is over
I have found ways to keep me sane.
A new love for people and life
Its what I live for
These people I will gather together is what I will die for
and the women of my dreams is what Ill wait for...
believe me when I say this.
but I found sunshine.